Because sports should never run your life ... retorts for sports

Aussie Open (Day 1):

Day 1 Update:

  • A focused Osaka drops many big ones in a day 1 demolition
  • Like a rolling stone gaining mass and traction, it’s rocks off for Gauff as the 15-year old phenom blows up tennis’ 2nd rock from the sun … the very sour Venus Williams
  • Japan’s other Nish deters Djere
  • Slammin Uncle Sammy kills off Borna
  • In a real Guido move, Pella puts Smith in a straight set jacket
  • Berankis is money in the bank against Baena
  • Fucsovics decides not to fuss much with Shapo
  • Fed puts Stevie Johnson out of his ever lovin misery of mediocrity
  • Brother Dim makes short work of Londero, in a throw-up style shirt that resembles a Xmas sweater gone rogue

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