Because sports should never run your life ... retorts for sports

Australian Open Update: 1/26/19 (Women’s Finals) (click to hear audio)

Osaka’s offense rules the day in Melbourne, and she’s promoted to head of the class.
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Australian Open Update:

  • Maybe Kirin Beer should hire the new champion as their spokesperson: “If you don’t have the time (to react), we don’t have the beer, and you’re a dead duck against Naomi”. Japan’s pride and joy bludgeons her way to another major, overcoming some minor meltdowns and a very game Petra K. The contrast with last year’s winner could not be more stark, and although the fireworks were at times thrilling, can we possibly have a happy medium? There was certainly drama and tension here, but was there any strategy? Osaka’s coach may feel like the Maytag repairman, given her apparent ability to blast her way out of any sticky situation. The hope would be that on slower surfaces, this fantastic phenom will actually need to raise her game to even higher levels by making on-court adjustments and playing a thinking woman’s game. That would be more interesting. In the meantime, congratulations on a job well done.

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