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NBA Update, Recap and Perspectives: Friday, 1-25-19 (click to find out why Francis needs to lighten up)

Denver’s pleasantly surprised when Mason’s set free to blot out the Suns

NBA Update:

  • Jokic’s suspended, but Mason’s freed to play a bunch of minutes and Nuggets have more than enough swagger to shun the Suns. #Nuggets #Suns
  • Chicago’s wimpy Bulls hit new heights of meekness when Lauri, their center, gets stuffed down low by little Beverley. #Clippers #Bulls
  • Toronto has its usual glittering regular season record, but do they really have a leader they can count on in the clutch? Tonight’s result would suggest otherwise. You aren’t going to get it done with Kawhi Leonard shooting threes with the clock winding down. #Raptors #Rockets
  • Hornets get squashed by Bucks in a brutal 4th quarter, serving as a stark reminder of the sick citizens who make up the utterly useless Southest Division. #Hornets #Bucks
Categories: NBA

NBA Update, Recap and Perspectives: Thursday, 1-24-19 (click post to get balled out ’bout Lonzo)

Time for Mr. Tender Groin to get his buns back to work …

NBA Update:

— Hey Mr. Tender Groin — time for you to get your buns back out on the hardwood … your Lakers are drowning…#Lakers #Timberwolves

–Davis-less Pelicans are relatively defenseless and get torn asunder by the Thunder; Russell Westbrook was all bubbly with another gaudy triple double. #Pelicans #Thunder

–Dominant Dubs have relatively little trouble dumping the flub-a-Dubs from DC. #Warriors #Wizards

Categories: NBA

Australian Open Update: 1/24/19 (Men’s Semifinals) (click to hear why no man can eat 50 eggs)

Tsistipas and Sisyphus had lots in common today.

Australian Open Update:

— Rafa tears Stefanos to absolute shreds, as an appetizer to would appear to be a very entertaining banquet of grunts, slides, twists and turns in the inevitable final confrontation with Djoker. Enough with the foreplay … let’s bring on the main event. As for Tsistipas, today’s experience looked very Sisyphusian.

Australian Open Update: 1/23/19 (Women’s Semis) (click to hear more about TB-12)

DanYELL! gets mad (to no avail) and Naomi finally looks a little worried

Australian Open Update:

— In the first match, the win goes to the big lefty, who kept her cool and swarmed the net, while her opponent the grump spent too much time jawing with the ump
— Osaka socks her way through to the final, mixing a boatload of screeching winners with plenty of mishits,unforced errors and protracted period of what appeared to be inattention. Superior talent got her through today, but she’ll need to move more efficiently and do more with her second serve if she hopes to bring home another major title.

Australian Open Update: 1/21/19 (Round of 16) (click to hear the Shep Proudfoot-administered beating that takes a backseat to today’s massacre by the Danimal)

Dan-YELL! treats viewers to a highly entertaining version of Mutual of Omaha’s Wild Kingdom in devouring a mildly protesting opponent who ventured a little too close to the water hole.

Australian Open Update:

–Dan-YELL! Collins engineers a stunning reversal of fortune, as she has her way in 3 with Pavlyuchenkova. This relative newcomer is beyond competitive, bordering on psychotically intense, and she rolled over her more experienced adversary with a blizzard of blistering backhands, fearsome forehands, rocket serves and a ridiculous intimidation factor that she flaunts with furrowed brow and angry footsteps heard throughout the arena. If and when she faces Serena, this will be quite a spectacle to behold. The tennis is spectacular in its naked aggression, but it is not recommended for those with ulcers or mild constitutions (have some Rolaids within reach). And the only thing shorter than her temper appears to be her skirt. Just a wild guess that her sign is Leo.

— Karolina wiped the court of any trace of Garbine, who went away faster than you can say blueberry pancakes … sight unseen
— The Mother of all tennis players, little sis Williams thunders to another high volume victory, but not without being pushed by supposed big dog … the rather pint-sized Simona Halep. For those looking for a bit of competitive drama in the final rounds of this tournament, hopefully the remaining contenders were going to school on this match; what seems apparent is that Serena is definitely not moving as well as during her last title run, and her court coverage could well be an Achilles heel (so long as a way is found to somehow withstand the brute power of her serve and the baseline assortment of bangers and bash).

— So what else is new? In the case of Novak, absolutely nothing, as he wears another superbly conditioned athlete down to the proverbial nub with a grueling, if not gaudy, display of superhuman conditioning
— A very saucy Tsitsi gets past batttler Bautista in a 4 setter that certainly had loads of flavor.
— Kei shows true Far Eastern grit by busting his butt in a real tight squeeze with Carreno Busta.
— Still flying under the radar, Pouille doesn’t duck the challenge in killing off Borna

Australian Open Update: 1/20/19 (Round of 16) (click for Tony Soprano’s friendly advice to Richie Aprille)

Australian Open Update:

— An emaciated No. 4 Zverev gives away 2/3rd of his match to Raonic with shocking little resistance; it was so bad that Rodney Dangerfield was seen slipping him $20 at the changeover and was overheard telling him to “gain some weight”. Perhaps this advice, along with residual beneficial effects from a shocking display of rage directed at his innocent tennis weapon (smashing it into smithereens — and well beyond recognition) — seemed to help matters a bit in set No. 3, as things went to a tie breaker. But in the end, Milos had the only big boy game, owning the German with his huge serve and punishing Alex for many irresponsible shots that were floated like delicious cupcakes into the middle of the court. Coach Lendl looked like he was in serious discomfort, and well he should be.
— Fed was rolling merrily along, only slightly inconvenienced by having to win a first set breaker, and then Tsitsipas said “not so fast”; the fluid Greek has all the shots, moves beautifully on the court and is brimming with confidence. And how many more losses like this can Roger take, before he decides to hang his tennis shoes up and fade away into the sunset?
— Keys still looks like a light weight, offering only sporadic resistance to Svitolina on Margaret Court Arena
— Osaka gives Sevastova a siesta, flippantly flipping the switch in sets 2 and 3.

NFL Update, Recap and Perspectives: Sunday, 1-20-19 (click post for some hometown encouragement from the files of Jim Rockford)

The Brady era comes full circle as almost 20 years later it’s Rams-Patriots in the Super Bowl … all over again…

NFL Update:

  • Everything is up to date in KC, as the Chiefs do what they typically do and bow out in majorly disappointing fashion after raising so many expectations during the regular year. It did take them way too long to put their game face on, but once Mahomes got going, there was no stopping him. Unfortunately, this game seems to strongly suggest they’ll never take that next step with Andy “I like to read my play chart/as opposed to watching the game” Reid. The big red tomato is destined to forever playing ketchup with Belichick, who yet again coached him into a cramped corner. What was with the ultra conservative play calling for nearly a half, the refusal to make adjustments at the end of the game to cover Edelman and Gronk on those crossing patterns over the middle, or the unwillingness to make anything other than a token attempt to score a TD at the end of regulation. But the his biggest screw up was sitting on those 3 timeouts in OT, with Brady marching inexorably toward a winning TD, and the Chiefs’ exhausted defense in need of a serious blow. Sometimes the best time outs are those taken when you don’t have the ball, and when Burkhead rammed the ball over the goal line to put KC out of its misery, those game breaks went unused and wasted. #Chiefs #Patriots
  • My how the worm turned today in the Superdome, as the Rams came back from legally dead status to shock the Saints (who were probably booking their Super Bowl reservations). Yes, there was a blown call that changed everything, but let’s remember what the Rams did to get to that point … their D-line played huge, they did a great job stopping the Saints running game, and Goff and Co. showed maturity and poise in making the big plays/executing when they had to. This young team grew a ton in the last 15 minutes and into OT, and they deserve to move on. As for the Saints, they’ve had plenty of help all year long from the refs, so what goes around comes around. And let’s give a big pat on the back to Greg Z., whose big foot was the difference maker at the end. #Rams #Saints
Categories: NFL

Australian Open Update: 1/19/19 (Round of 16) (click for Kimmel’s flavorful roast)

Amanda was absolutely petrified …

Australian Open Update:

— Close encounter with Pliskova is not kind to Camila
— Now a step slow and with some somewhat glaring holes in her groundies, Venus is eclipsed by Halep
— Garbine takes it upon herself to clean Timea’s clock
— Folks in the US are plenty proud of Frances’ accomplishments thus far; the guy with the straight-armed, open stance forehand hammers Dimitrov into submission in four
— Berdych and his bizarre ink blot outfit are sent to the cleaners in routine fashion by Rafa
— In an abrupt about face, adorable Amanda loses her Type A personality and looks positively petrified against Petra
— Barty’s superior all court abilities rule the day in showdown with baseline bound Sharapova
— Treeing from the get go, Collins drills mercilessly into Angelique’s tired backboard technique.

Australian Open Update: 1/18/19 (Men’s Singles) (click for an Odd Couple intro)

You had better be fit to throw this kind of conniption fit…

Australian Open Update:

— Nish gets his wish … a relatively breezy, easy straight set win over Sousa
— Fognini founders in four
— Shapovalov shows uncommon valor in rising from the dead in the third and throwing Novak into a virtual conniption fit; unfortunately, what followed was a public execution of the courageous Canadian
— Send in the medics to revive Goffin, after he gets manhandled by Medvedev
— Bautista catches, as surpasses, Khachanov
— De Minaur provides minimal resistance to classically nasty Nadal

Australian Open Update: 1/18/19 (Women’s Singles) (and check out the hilarious workout clip from “This is 40”)

Sloane strong arms her way past a spellbound, spindly Martic

Australian Open Update:

— Stephens finds her A game often enough to effectuate a cathartic win over Martic
— Kvitova bounces Belinda Bencic
— Kerber buries Birrell
— Osaka recovers after temporarily losing her way against Wei Hsieh
— Sevastova quites Qiang Wang
— Serena beats the living daylights out of Dayana
— Keys puts a real hurting on Elise Mertens

Australian Open Update: 1/17/19 (Women’s Singles) (and click post to hear something about Mary and those goofy bastards)

Australian Open Update:

— Sabalenka doesn’t go down quietly (unfortunately for those within earshot), as she gets ruthlessly dismembered by teen angel executioner Anismova
— Osaka was noticeably off her game, but had more than enough ammo to off Zidansek
— Halep survives the 3-set plan of comrade Kenin
— Little known slugger Yastremska bashes her way to a surprise win over No. 23 Navarro
— Not even a genie out of the bottle could’ve saved Eugenie, who gets roundly throttled by Serena
— Anastasia annihilates Aliaksandra
— Defending Champ is dumbfounded as Sharapova finds the steely resolve she’s been searching for, and it’s Caroline who clutches up when it counts; the moral to this story is good defense is usually not enough … you usually have to hit some winners to be a winner

Australian Open Update: 1/17/19 (Men’s Singles) (click for audio — “Ted Intro”)

Just wasn’t in the cards for Taro…

Australian Open Update:

— It just wasn’t in the cards for Taro against menacing Denis
— Ryan doubles down against ii Daniil
— Jo-Wilfried goes bye bye without as much as a whimper to No. 1 Novak
— Slim sweeper Zverev looks plenty hardy in surviving a grueling 5-setter with Chardy
— Taylor’s game predictably goes on the fritz in yawner of a loss to Fed
— The Berdych strut is in full bloom as the towering Czech dunks on little Diego
— Alex from Australia ousts Gilles from Gaul
— Stefano still standing after knocking off Nikoloz
— Thomas’ train gets derailed by Dimitrov
— Tiafoe appears to be tiring against Mr. Consistency, Seppi.

Australian Open Update: 1/16/19 (Men’s Singles) (click for audio)

When it comes to serving and overheads, Milos has the feel good formula…

Australian Open Men’s Singles Update:

— Another fine Italian job with Fabbiano fabricating a tough five-set win over Opeiker
— Grigor grinds out a gritty win over Cuevas
–Ebden was anything but ebullient after getting ravaged by Nadal
— Laaksonen comes all the way before taking a deadly detour against De Minnaur
— Wawrinka blinks at 5-2 in the decisive set, giving a sometimes sluggish Raonic the opening he needed to squeeze through.
— Ivo carpet bombs Kei with 60 daisy cutters before succumbing in the 5th set super breaker
— Chung hung out to dry when a Hugues Herbert’s serve hugs a millimeter of the service line on match point.

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