Because sports should never run your life ... retorts for sports

Category Archives: General

Sneak preview of the new and improved “vote” questions on ChabDog Sports Blog:

Sneak preview:
1. Which QB will be the first to go down with an extended-game injury: (a) Jaywalking Jay Cutler; (b) Cleveland’s signal caller, whomever he is; (c) Dandy Andy Dalton, the red headed Bungling stepchild; (d) Captain Kirk Cousins; (e) Carson Not So Rosy Palmer; or (f) Carson George Wendtz.
2. What was the worst pick yet on ChabDog Sports Talk? (a) ChabDog picking the Jags in Week 2; (b) Marc saying there’s no @#$@#$ way we can lose to Carolina; (c) Eric insisting Buffalo had no chance against Denver; (d) Every freaking pick Frankie Midnight made on Week 4; or (e) Drew insisting that the Cubs had to choke last year.
3. Who is the sexiest tennis or golf wife/companion (recent past also qualifies)? (a) Ester “the 700 year itch” Berdych; (b) Mrs. Feliciano Lopez; (c) gobbledygook Gulbus’ love interest; (d) the counterpart to KA; (e) Caroline Wozniacki (if you count her as attached to ex-boyfriend Rory); or (f) Sugarpova (if attached to Baby Fed).

Other broadcasting gigs deemed “too hot to handle” by politically astute ESPN (click post for audio):

As a follow up to the Robert Lee fiasco, ChabDog Sports Blog has gotten its hands on an internal ESPN memo, warning scheduling programmers about other politically incorrect assignments that must be avoided at all costs:
1) Anyone named Adolf (or wearing a Hitler moustache) doing a Germany-Israel world cup soccer game;
2) Jeff Dahmer as color commentator for Brewer games;
3) Tim McCarver anywhere near the vicinity of Fenway Park;
4) OJ Simpson doing the USC-UCLA annual grudge match;
5) John Wayne, John Wayne Bobbitt or John Wayne Gacy doing WNBA contests;
6) Don Cherry or Don Trump doing anything;
7) Scott Hamilton or Richard Simmons doing Men’s or Women’s Bodybuilding.

Tune in this Sunday, August 6, as ChabDog Sports Talk welcomes Doron Lowe, Founder of Exhibition Basketball Team “Lets Go Flight” …

 

PRESS RELEASE
August 2, 2017
Doron Lowe and Tim Fjestad have announced the launch of a new exhibition basketball
team, FLIGHT SQUAD. The re-branded team boasts a co-ed roster of former international
pro players and D1 athletes. FLIGHT SQUAD travels the globe for fundraising, charitable,
tournament and league events. After many of their games, they encourage the youth
through motivational speeches. Brittany Dorsey, who played professionally for Kiev,Ukraine,
has been hired as head coach. Lowe most recently worked at ESPN and ABC7 Los
Angeles and Fjestad has years of experience in sports fundraising event sales.
Driven by values of teamwork, dedication and humility, their focus is blending competitive
basketball with unexpected, cutting edge entertainment. The organization’s business offices
are located in Los Angles and Denver. For more information, please contact Tim Fjestad at
timf@flightsquadball.com or visit: flightsquadball.com

 

ChabDog’s Top 10 Russian Remembrances:

1) Anna Kournikova;

2) The Russian Women’s Curling Team;

3) Tatiana Borodulina, Speed Skating;

4) Trotsky’s circular glasses and amazing Jewfro;

5) tie — Stalin’s sturdy moustache/Khruschev’s formidable forehead;

6) Safin’s surprising and much needed defeat of Pete at the 2000 US Open;

7) The upset in 1972 Olympic Basketball when the clock stopped rolling.

8) Razor tipped shoes in From Russia With Love

9) Raunchy Rasputin

10) Russian Dressing

 

ChabDog ushers in three new canines as ChabDogs of the Month for April 2017, and that’s no April Fools joke ..

 

Say hello to these three lovable and well trained best friends of men and women … we’re proud to name Nate, Nellie and Buddy as ChabDogs of the Month for April 2017 (pictured in that order above).

They couldn’t be more well-trained, and Bingo thanks their expert caretaker, Michelle Graves, for getting a sample of their much sought after doggie treats.

 

On the February 26 edition of ChabDog Sports Talk (pt. 2):

 

http://www.blogtalkradio.com/chabdogradio/2017/02/26/chabdog-sports-talk-sunday-february-26-9-1030-am-pst

 

On the Sunday, February 26 edition of ChabDog Sports Talk (pt. 2):
— Marc admits to everyone that he’s an obsessed Frankophile;
— Question for the panel: Will Boston be the next City of Champions?;
— Lots of background noise from the Patriot peanut gallery;
— Frank holds Marc in contempt … of court and with regard to literally everything else, including the cantankerous cabbie’s dismissal of the Mets, who he insists will be quite alright (except for their useless athletic trainer);
— After a few pregnant pauses, we consider a halfway house solution, involving 45 minute splits for our feuding guests;
— There’s no substitute for the Red Sox outfield;
— Accounting for Dan Marino’s exodus from major TV broadcasts … clearing the air after Savattere;
— Why Deion don’t do stretching … he’s like a Cheetah, who doesn’t need to…
— Celebrating Steely Dan and the 1979 Super Bowl Champion Steelers (we’ve got rowdy Curt Gowdy clips);
— We recall the 1986 Super Bowl debacle for New England, but do give mention to their squishing of the fish in the AFC Championship;
— Marc tells us what the NHL and women share;
— 1-800-cars for kids wins as the most annoying, can’t get it outta my brain sports talk radio commercial, beating out Optima Tax Relief;
— Expert tips on how to defend, not just tend, a bar;
— The best part of hockey — dropping the gloves;
— Bruin darlings Terry O’Reilly and Cam Neely;
— Brodeur vs. Roy bragging rights;
— What it takes to be a really good sport … just ask the queen in History of the World Pt. 1’s outdoor chess scene;
— getting afflicted with more Pedroia paranoia;
and more

On the Sunday, February 19 edition of ChabDog Sports Talk (pt 1):

http://www.blogtalkradio.com/chabdogradio/2017/02/19/chabdog-sports-talk-sunday-february-19-9-1030-am-pst


— Eric the Well-read continues his Saddam Hussein imitation by calling in from yet another remote location;
— Frank Fleming fills us in on the highlights of the NBA All-Star Game Slam Dunk contest; sounded like lots different people jumping over people/things and the use of remote control drones;
— The flat world according to Kyrie Irving sounds a lot less logical than John Irving’s World According to Garp;
— Celebrating how Kristaps snapped up the Skills Competition;
— Isaiah Thomas lives in Boston, and the Celtics are set up to be competitive for years to come;
— Why the NBA needs to vet out the Nets;
— Everything you wanted to know, but were afraid to ask, about making it through sperm training school;
— Eric envisions Magic’s return to the Lakers in graphic detail;
— As seen by Woody Allen, a view inside the central command center for dinner dates;
— Marc Caruso sniffs out Frank and extracts more than a pound of flesh;
— Dan Quinn’s Kevin Bacon assurances that “All is well” apparently did not have the desired effect;
— Why the Falcons’ collapse was way worse than the Bill Buckner debacle;
— Who did NE make a deal with? Peyton or Satan?;
— The greatness of Tom Brady is, according to most of our panel, beyond dispute … except of course if you live in a submarine in New Jersey;
— We consider the virtues of dabbling with throwing the Curling rocks into the house totally stoned;
— Debating the prospects for the Red Sox in 2017; and more…

Law Office of Brandon S. Chabner

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