Because sports should never run your life ... retorts for sports

Category Archives: General

ChabDog’s premature year-end in and out list:

 

IN                                                    OUT

Hoover from Animal House               Herbert Hoover
Celtic Green                                      Gang Green
as in, the fix, for the Patriots              as in, the rest of the field feeling left out
Hoodies                                             Woodies
Leading by example                           Leading with your head
Clocks that work                                Fake clocks
Blake Bortles                                     Blake Griffin
Jose Altuve                                        Tattoo

Sneak preview of the new and improved “vote” questions on ChabDog Sports Blog:

Sneak preview:
1. Which QB will be the first to go down with an extended-game injury: (a) Jaywalking Jay Cutler; (b) Cleveland’s signal caller, whomever he is; (c) Dandy Andy Dalton, the red headed Bungling stepchild; (d) Captain Kirk Cousins; (e) Carson Not So Rosy Palmer; or (f) Carson George Wendtz.
2. What was the worst pick yet on ChabDog Sports Talk? (a) ChabDog picking the Jags in Week 2; (b) Marc saying there’s no @#$@#$ way we can lose to Carolina; (c) Eric insisting Buffalo had no chance against Denver; (d) Every freaking pick Frankie Midnight made on Week 4; or (e) Drew insisting that the Cubs had to choke last year.
3. Who is the sexiest tennis or golf wife/companion (recent past also qualifies)? (a) Ester “the 700 year itch” Berdych; (b) Mrs. Feliciano Lopez; (c) gobbledygook Gulbus’ love interest; (d) the counterpart to KA; (e) Caroline Wozniacki (if you count her as attached to ex-boyfriend Rory); or (f) Sugarpova (if attached to Baby Fed).

Other broadcasting gigs deemed “too hot to handle” by politically astute ESPN (click post for audio):

As a follow up to the Robert Lee fiasco, ChabDog Sports Blog has gotten its hands on an internal ESPN memo, warning scheduling programmers about other politically incorrect assignments that must be avoided at all costs:
1) Anyone named Adolf (or wearing a Hitler moustache) doing a Germany-Israel world cup soccer game;
2) Jeff Dahmer as color commentator for Brewer games;
3) Tim McCarver anywhere near the vicinity of Fenway Park;
4) OJ Simpson doing the USC-UCLA annual grudge match;
5) John Wayne, John Wayne Bobbitt or John Wayne Gacy doing WNBA contests;
6) Don Cherry or Don Trump doing anything;
7) Scott Hamilton or Richard Simmons doing Men’s or Women’s Bodybuilding.

Tune in this Sunday, August 6, as ChabDog Sports Talk welcomes Doron Lowe, Founder of Exhibition Basketball Team “Lets Go Flight” …

 

PRESS RELEASE
August 2, 2017
Doron Lowe and Tim Fjestad have announced the launch of a new exhibition basketball
team, FLIGHT SQUAD. The re-branded team boasts a co-ed roster of former international
pro players and D1 athletes. FLIGHT SQUAD travels the globe for fundraising, charitable,
tournament and league events. After many of their games, they encourage the youth
through motivational speeches. Brittany Dorsey, who played professionally for Kiev,Ukraine,
has been hired as head coach. Lowe most recently worked at ESPN and ABC7 Los
Angeles and Fjestad has years of experience in sports fundraising event sales.
Driven by values of teamwork, dedication and humility, their focus is blending competitive
basketball with unexpected, cutting edge entertainment. The organization’s business offices
are located in Los Angles and Denver. For more information, please contact Tim Fjestad at
timf@flightsquadball.com or visit: flightsquadball.com

 

ChabDog’s Top 10 Russian Remembrances:

1) Anna Kournikova;

2) The Russian Women’s Curling Team;

3) Tatiana Borodulina, Speed Skating;

4) Trotsky’s circular glasses and amazing Jewfro;

5) tie — Stalin’s sturdy moustache/Khruschev’s formidable forehead;

6) Safin’s surprising and much needed defeat of Pete at the 2000 US Open;

7) The upset in 1972 Olympic Basketball when the clock stopped rolling.

8) Razor tipped shoes in From Russia With Love

9) Raunchy Rasputin

10) Russian Dressing

 

ChabDog ushers in three new canines as ChabDogs of the Month for April 2017, and that’s no April Fools joke ..

 

Say hello to these three lovable and well trained best friends of men and women … we’re proud to name Nate, Nellie and Buddy as ChabDogs of the Month for April 2017 (pictured in that order above).

They couldn’t be more well-trained, and Bingo thanks their expert caretaker, Michelle Graves, for getting a sample of their much sought after doggie treats.

 

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