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Category Archives: NCAAF

BCS Update — 1-7-9 (click post for audio)

Tide succumb to Tiger pride!

BCS Title Game:

The Crimson Tide was all out of answers tonight, as it got thoroughly bottled up and throttled by Dabo’s pride of hungry Tigers. Unable to extract exactly what it wanted on the ground. Bama had to rely on its air attack, which turned out to be a fatal flaw in Saban’s inadequate game plan. In the end, this was an interesting affair until mid-3rd quarter, at which point it just got hopelessly out of hand. And with a Freshman QB and loads of talent coming back, it should be Green Acres in Death Valley for years to come. #Tigers #CrimsonTide

Bowl Game Update — 12-29-18
We have the inevitable: Dabo vs. Nick Satan

Bowl Game Update:

  • Clemson manhandles the light-in-the-loafers Fighting Irish in every way possible. For shame, Notre Dame, as the Golden Domers lay a basket full of rotten eggs once again in the BCS. As for the Tigers, they have all the weapons needed to give Bama a good run for their money, and end this god forsaken era of Satanic worship at the top of the college football pyramid. #FightingIrish #Tigers
  • Try as they may, the Sooners can never recover from starting the Orange Bowl like real lemons … with the most sour case of Okie depression since the 1930s. #Sooners #CrimsonTide
  • More season ending hard times for Harbaugh, as elusive Perine leaves the Wolverines wallowing in in the Peach Bowl latrine. #Gators #Wolverines

Bowl Game Update — 12-28-18

Bowl Game Update:

  • Minshew turns the Cyclone secondary to mincemeat in the Alamo Bowl. #Cyclones #Cougars
  • Syracuse wins a bowl game by default after Will Grier decides he had better things to do than indulge in the wonderful world of camping. #Mountaineers #Orangemen
  • Boilermakers made to look ridiculous by the suddenly ferocious Auburn Tigers in the Music City Bowl. This was the same team that throttled Ohio State? Really? #Boilermakers #Tigers

NCAA Football Update, Week 12 (click for audio):

NCAA Football Update (Week 12):

  • Kyler enjoys driving through KU for 55, but give the Jayhawks credit for putting up 40 of their own; RB Pooka Williams is the closest thing to Mighty Mouse we have in college football, and before he leaves will almost certainly save a more few days for his team from Lawrence. #Jayhawks #Sooners
  • Clemson’s still clucking with a thorough rebuke of Duke. #Tigers #BlueDevils
  • LSU finally gets its offense cooking against Rice. #Owls #Tigers\
  • Bama takes a while to lose its civility, but eventually makes The Citadel feel they are, without question, second class citizens. #Bulldogs #CrimsonTide
  • West Virginia takes its foot off of the gas and finds itself in hot water in Stillwater; give the Cowboys lots of credit for not laying down, and now they’re going out of town for a bowl game in December. #Moutaineers #Cowboys
  • Michigan muddles through a rather uninspiring beating of Indiana; they’d better be sharper than this if they hope to find satisfaction in Columbus. #Hoosiers #Wolverines
  • Dawgs don’t dawdle in making mincemeat out of the Minutemen. #Minutemen #Bulldogs
  • Semi-impressive win at home for the once proud Seminoles; same old result for the less-than-regal Eagles. #Eagles #Seminoles
  • Today’s collapse was indeed the lemon we were waiting for from the over-achieving Orange. Ouch! #Orange #FightingIrish
  • Not much resistance mustered by Rutgers at home against Penn St. #NittanyLions #ScarletKnights
  • Nothing new from NU, just a workmanlike win over the going nowhere Golden Gophers. #GoldenGophers #Wildcats
  • Terps show plenty of College Park spark, and nearly pull off the upset of the year against heavily favored OSU … but unlike horseshoes and hand grenades, close does not count in college football… #Terrapins #Buckeyes

NCAA Football Update, Week 11 (click for audio):


NCAA Football Update:

  • Great Texas football match up, reminiscent of a Southwest Conf. showdown between Darrel Royal and Gene Stallings, turns on the arm of gunslinger Ehlinger. All this needed to conjure up the perfect memories was a barefoot kicker like A&M’s Tony Franklin. Or better yet, how about the toast of Texas, Russell Erxleben. Yeah, that last name sure works!
  • Notre Dame’s attack sure didn’t look wimpy, being guided by back up Wimby, or perhaps the stinky Seminole D had something to do with it. #Seminoles #FightingIrish
  • Swift kick to the groin, when D’Andre goes for 186 from the line of scrimmage; Bulldogs going through the motions of that seemingly futile exercise of trying to get ready for a battle with the great Saban. #Tigers #Bulldogs
  • Too bad Army wasn’t today’s casualty … then we could say Knights slay Black Knights.#Knights #BlackKnights
  • Boise’s rugged Rypien is starting to look pretty ripe for picking in the next NFL draft, with today’s game film being as much as you need. He may put up better number than his dad. #Bulldogs #Broncos
  • Tigers burrow down and taser the Razorbacks. #Tigers #Razorbacks
  • Isaiah helps fulfill the prophecy that one way or another Northwestern will eventually get noticed as a contender for the Big 10 title. Another less-than-sexy bare knuckles brawl ends well for the Wildcats. #Wildcats #Hawkeyes
  • And now for this week’s loser in the habitual snoozer at Tuscaloosa … the Bulldogs of MSU. #Bulldogs #CrimsonTide
  • Wolverines invade Piscataway and take the air game away from the landlocked Scarlet Knights. Another rather meaningless tuneup for the showdown in a few weeks with The Ohio State Buckeyes. #Wolverines #Rutgers
  • As usual, the football Volunteers show no fear against their Border State rivals the Wildcats.
  • Unranked Badgers get spanked in Happy Valley; no surprise as McSorley upstages Coan, who is by stretch a gridiron barbarian. #Badgers #NittanyLions
  • Morgantown Grier continues to shake things up … in a good way … at home for WVU. #Moutaineers #HornedFrogs
  • Wearing enough Orange to make Donald Trump happy, Syracuse stays smoldering hot and runs the score up real big against the Loserville Cardinals. #Cardinals #Orange
  • Wolfpack are most hospitable hosts to their Carolina brethren from Wake, falling asleep in the final minute and giving up a crushing go-ahead TD by newcomer Newman. As usual, NC State’s football team never misses an opportunity to miss an opportunity. #DemonDeacons #Wolfpack
  • Three yards and a cloud of green dust for the Spartans; a little more for the Bucks. For those how dare to put MSU in the Top 25, today’s display is certainly an eye sore. #Buckeyes #Spartans



NCAA Football Update, Week 9 (click for audio):

NCAA Football Update, Week 9:

  • Fighting Irish threw the Book at smarty pants Wildcats,… and it worked. #FightingIrish #Wildcats
  • Pitt displays a punishing ground game in Cavalier country, and, lo and hold, stay near the top of the heap in the ACC. #Panthers #Cavaliers
  • In what could termed a shock, Tigers drain the Swamp with lots of Lock and Lockett. #Tigers #Gators
  • It wasn’t easy but Auburn avoids Armageddon with a last minute TD against the Aggies. #Aggies #Tigers
  • Dungey spells doomsday for the dejected Demon Deacons. #Orange #DemonDeacons
  • Huskers hang in like grim death against highly favored OSU, only to get denied at the finish by a bobbing and dodging Dobbins. #Cornhuskers #Bukeyes
  • It’s business as usual in Lawrence, as Purdy engineers a pretty easy win for the Cyclones at Kansas. #Cyclones #Jayhawks
  • Temple takes a tumble against the onrushing Knights. #Knights #Owls
  • Clemson uses its Lawrence styled Fridge Package to oxidize the Loserville Cardinals. #Cardinals #Tigers
  • The only thing dead in Death Valley tonight was Orgy’s very dull and life

NCAA Football Update, Week 8 (click for audio):


NCAA Football Update:

  • Georgia spikes, and beats its opponents, to the punch in the annual cocktail party, after sending its friends from Florida a love letter straight Fromm the heart. Nice bounce back game for the Dogs after their rather dreary belly flop at LSU. #Gators #Bulldogs
  • Seminoles fold like a house of cards in the face of Clemson’s onslaught. Tigers are categorically and unequivocally the kings of the jungle in the very uncompetitive ACC. #Tigers #Seminoles
  • Kyler taps into his CeeDee player and provides some great entertainment for the native Normans in OU’s throttling of KSU. #Wildcats #Sooners
  • 2 yards and cloud of dust. Well maybe not that bad, but this was a choppy, ugly pairing of two offenses that had plenty of fits and not to many starts. PSU survives at home, … just barely. #Hawkeyes #NittanyLions
  • Baylor bails out from the fight at Morgantown; another glorious performance from Grier the Mountaineer. #Bears #Moutaineers
  • Time to start taking NU seriously; no red badge of courage today for the Badgers, who stink it up at Evanston. #Badgers #Wildcats
  • Kentucky’s version of the Cardiac Cats win their feline spat with Mizzou’s Tigers; at 7-1, this team probably should be ranked, if not respected. #Wildcats #Tigers
  • Utah wins the battle of Britain held Friday night at the Rose Bowl, as, once again, UCLA looks useless, and Chip Kelly’s program appears to be in shambles. #Utes #Bruins
  • App. St. clearly let the current state of affairs get to its head. Now they are the victim of a shocking upset. #Moutaineers #Eagles
  • They’re going berserk at Berserkley, with the dream finish fashioned by Weaver. #Huskies #GoldenBears
  • With Gardner tending to his position in the field so dutifully, the Cougars of Whitman County were certainly hot to trot at Stanford. #Cougars #Cardinals

NCAA Football Update, Week 7 (click for audio):

NCAA Football Update, Week 7:

  • Gophers haven’t been running this scared in Nebraska since the days of Danny Noonan and Bushwood Country Club. #Cornhuskers #GoldenGophers
  • Buckeyes looked like they played this one with their eyes closed, getting scalded badly by the Boilers at West Lafayette, in what must be viewed as the most puzzling result of this college football season. #Buckeyes #Boilermakers
  • Cakewalk for Badgers at Camp Randle against ill-equipped Illini. #Illini #Badgers
  • Bowser’s run is the ruination of Rutgers nation, and Northwestern narrowly avoids letting things totally slip away in Piscataway. #ScarletKnights #Rutgers
  • Penn St.relies on McSorley for a sorely needed, if unimpressive, win. #NittanyLions #Hoosiers
  • Twerpy Terps go away very quietly in Iowa City. Is Iowa this good? Clearly not, but MD is, as usual, nowhere to be found for big games on the road. #Terrapins #Hawkeyes
  • Clemson destroys the most inept Wolfpack seen since the Hangover. #Wolfpack #Tigers
  • Huskies hunker down at home and watch leader shake and bake against the Buffs. #Buffaloes #Huskies
  • Sooners continue to prove you can win in the Big 12 with not much defense, but will that serve them well when they go bowling. #Sooners #HornedFrogs
  • No smoke and mirrors to save the sputtering Spartans today, as Michigan dominates from the start. #Wolverines #Spartans
  • Alabama implements the mercy rule, pulling Tagovailoa halfway through the third quarter, en route to tagging Tennessee with an embarrassing home loss. #CrimsonTide #Volunteers

NCAA Football Update, Week 6 (click for audio):

NCAA Football Update:

  • Badgers look more like beavers in getting totally pelted at the Big House. #Badgers #Wolverines
  • Whoa Nellie, look what those Cyclones whipped up at Ames for the unsuspecting Mounties. W. Va will surely to topple precipitously out of the Top 10 after this misfire. #Mountaineers #Cyclones
  • After a reasonable 1st quarter, Alabama gets serious and kicks things into high bear; the result is a miserable experience for Mizzou. #Tigers #CrimsonTide
  • Lions’ reputation takes a hit in Happy Valley as Spartans pull out all the stops in a 4 point upset win on the road. #Spartans #NittanyLions
  • Feisty Commodores command Florida’s attention and then proceed to get chomped. #Gators #Commodores
  • LSU makes a strong statement that they, no the formerly No. 2 Bulldogs, are the real competition in the SEC for ‘Bama. What a defense for the Bayou Bengals! #Bulldogs #Tigers
  • The good Book certainly gave the crowd a happy ending at South Bend. NIce try for the upset mnded Panthers from Pitt. #Panthers #FightingIrish
  • Pretty solid effort by the Gophers, who kept this interesting going into the 4th quarter … until being beaten back by Haskins and an efficient Buckeye aerial attack. #Buckeyes #GoldenGophers

NCAA Football Update, Week 3 (click for audio):

NCAA Football Update:

  • Wisconsin weathers a bit of a storm in Iowa City, and carries off The Heartland Trophy. Looking at the rest of the Big Ten West, to say they don’t have much to worry about is the understatement of the year … and they themselves really aren’t that good. #Badgers #Hawkeyes
  • Army’s tough ground game very nearly sunk the Sooners, who had to scramble behind the heroics of Kyler Murray for a narrow victory at home over the Knights. #Knights #Sooners
  • Wildcats scamper for cover in the face of Grier the Mountaineer. #Wildcats #Mountaineers
  • Urban renews his coaching vows by patrolling the sidelines in a total flattening of the Green Wave. #GreenWave #Buckeyes
  • Freshman Lawrence gives Clemson a fresh start at QB; Tigers romp. #Tigers #YellowJackets
  • Wimbush and the Fighting Irish put the Demon Deacons through many trials and tributions at Winston Salem. #FightingIrish #DeamonDeacons
  • Another no-show, shoddy effort from Nebraska, allowing a Wolverine kick returner to take one back to the house in the Big House, and generally get pushed around something awful. Oh how the once mighty have fallen. #Cornhuskers #Wolverines
  • TD passes from Fromm buoy the Bulldogs in Columbia, MO. #Bulldogs #Tigers
  • Illini lie down at home for the Lions. #NittanyLions #Illini
  • So much for the new and improved BC Eagles, who fall flat at West Lafayette. #Eagles #Boilermakers
  • A no doubt thrilling West Coast encounter that few people will notice (nothing worse than college football on a Friday night) … yes, USC, you are not 1-3, but you are terribly mediocre in the underwhelming Lack-16. #Trojans #Cougars

NCAA Football Update Week 2 (click for audio):

NCAA Football Update (click for audio):

  • There’s no rescuing Rutgers and their beleaguered QB Rescigno, as a parade of turnovers, including pick sixes from Torneden and Lee, lead the Jayhawks … yes the Jayhawks … to their second straight win; as for the KU offense, they have the New Jersey nebbishes spooked all day trying to reign in a running back named Pooka. #Rutgers #Kansas
  • Opening drive triggers tons of Tide pride, and turns Oxford into Rebel hell for Ole Miss. #CrimsonTide #Rebels
  • Sputtering Notre Dame avoids a major fender bender in South Bend when Vandy loses their handy on the ball at the last minute. #FightingIrish #Commodores
  • Aggies hit a major snag and their offense drags at Stanford. #Aggies #Cardinal
  • September is apparently not Cyclone season in Ames, as Kyler Murray hit just about everything he aimed at. #Sooners #Cyclones
  • If only Flo would move as fast as the Miami variety of Hurricanes. #Hurricanes #Rockets
  • Kent got bent out of shape, and then smashed to smithereens in by a big time blowout at Penn St. #GoldenFlashes #NittanyLions
  • MTSU gets caught between a rock and a hard place when it travels to Athens, but a big paycheck will at least soften the blow. #BlueRaiders #Bulldogs
  • OSU finally works up the nerve to flog the Frogs

NCAA Football Update, Week 2 (click for audio):

NCAA Football Update:

  • A bit of a sloppy game by Clemson, but it ultimately doesn’t bite the Tigers where it hurts too much as the reigning ACC Champs manufacture a big road win at College Station
  • Trojans never get going against scheming Stanford. #Trojans #Cardinal
  • They made some decent money, but the Red Wolves also got tagged with a serious beating by Tagovailoa and his Crimson Tide. #RedWolves #CrimsonTide
  • Another swift kick in the gut for Rutgers…#ScarletKnights #Buckeyes
  • Ducks have their true cupcake moment against Portland State. How delicious. #Vikings #Ducks
  • Nary a chance for William & Mary, who seemed (and were) completely out of their league against Va Tech. #Hokies #Tribe
  • Okla chokes the life outta UCLA, with very little resistance. Yes, the Bruin football program is in near ruins. #Bruins #Sooners
  • Big bad Badgers push around Lobos with their lethal, Taylor-made attack … through the air and, of course, on the ground. #Lobos #Badgers
  • Wolverines do their best to pull the wool over their eyes and forget about last week’s disappointment by trampling Western Michigan. #Broncos #Wolverines
  • Penn St. sets rival Pitt straight #NIttanyLions #Panthers

NCAA Football Update (click for audio):

NCAA Football Update:

  • Bulldogs squash The Peay… Austin Peay, are you kidding me? #Bulldogs #Governors
  • USC makes it plain that they should be dubbed best in the West. #Rebels #Trojans
  • Mountaineer fans are paying homage to to Sills, McCoy, and oh boy, the excellent start for Grier … could it be his Heisman year? #Mountaineers #Volunteers
  • Auburn’s Smoke Monday chose to win Saturday with a game winning blitz of Browning. #Huskies #Tigers
  • Rebel receivers make quite a wreck of Texas Tech; why wasn’t this game being played in Lubbock. #Rebels #RedRaiders
  • No. 10 Penn St. survives when App St. didn’t quite have the aptitude to pull off the upset. #Moutaineers #NittanyLions
  • Terps do fallen comrade McNair proud, by forcing key turnovers and making some big plays through the air in taking down the favored Longhorns. #Longhorns #Terrapins
  • Frogs jump all over Jaguars, who looked stuck in the garage at Ft. Worth. #HornedFrogs #Jaguars
  • Haskins was up to the task, as Buckeyes glide by not-so-eager Beavers. #Beavers #Buckeyes
  • Wisconsin tramples the Hilltoppers in a typical week 1 mismatch. #Hilltoppers #Badgers
  • Stanford sticks it to San Diego State in the 2nd half … surprise/surprise … without making Love the offensive centerpiece. #Cardinal #Aztecs
  • Clemson plays the role of Furmanator perfectly, obliterating the Paladins on both sides of the ball. #Tigers #Paladins

Blood types — Going through the coaching carousel

Coaching Blood Types:

Type P1 (purveyors of passion) — Cowher, Tomlin, Parcells, Shula, Calipari, Jimmy Johnson, Earl Weaver, John McGraw, Lasorda

Type P2 (planners) —  Noll, Belichick, Landry, Wooden, Saban, Red Auerbach, Allston

Type P1/P2 (hybrids) — Lombardi (the dark side), Stengel (mirth)

Type 0 (as in without either P1 or P2) — McAdoo, Hue, Caldwell, Yost (just kidding)

Type Ragu — Ralph Friedgen, Andy Reid, Mark Mangino, Mike Scioscia



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