Because sports should never run your life ... retorts for sports

Category Archives: NCAAF

NCAAF Top 25 Update, Recap and Perspectives: Saturday, 12-2 (click post for audio)

NCAAF Top 25 Update, Recap and Perspectives:

  • After a rousing start, Auburn’s Tigers looked tranquilized, if not lifeless, while the Bulldogs prove once again that it pays to retaliate in the BCS ranking game. Looks like somebody in orange and blue had the Tiger poop beaten out of them tonight.  What do you think, Paul Finebaum?  #Tigers #Bulldogs
  • Another near miss for the Wis, which was predictably empty in terms of razzle dazzle, not to mention productivity on the ground.  And a big thumbs up to JT, who didn’t have to risk further damage to his surgically repaired knee, but played because he has a lot of heart … and cares.  This attitude is a precious commodity in today’s college football, and more generally, in life.  #Badgers #Buckeyes
  • Knights finally say goodnight to the Tigers in a wild AAC title game, and quite possibly says hello to a New Years Day bowl game. #Tigers #Knights
  • Clemson proves what most of us really knew all along … arguing that Miami was worthy of a BCS berth was nothing more than a South Beach reach. #Tigers #Hurricanes
  • Sooners are jumping for joy after flogging the Frogs. Mayfield continues to make his detractors pay with 4 more additions to his TD hoard. #HornedFrogs #Sooners

NCAAF Top 25 Update, Recap and Perspectives: Friday, 12-1 (click post for audio)

NCAAF Top 25 Update:

  • The Pac-12 gets stiffed again when it comes to the BSC … but isn’t it their own fault to a large degree. By all accounts this was a terrific game, but for whatever reason, it was played in this ridiculously bad, Friday night time slot. People are too busy wrapping up a hectic work week and catching up after Thanksgiving to take notice of this, and the public’s real attention on college football conference title games will be focused tomorrow. Duh? #Trojans #Cardinal

NCAAF Top 25 Update, Recap and Perspectives: Saturday, 11-25 (click post for audio)

NCAAF Top 25 Update:

  • In what seems like an annual crime, the Badgers take out the Golden Gophers Lizzie Borden style, with 31 whacks from Paul Bunyan’s battle axe. #Badgers #GoldenGophers
  • Malzahn outsmarts L’il Nicky with a perfect defensive plan, including double/triple coverage to get rid of the threat from Ridley and the using shadows to keep QB Hurts running to daylight. On to SEC title game for Auburn, and as for Bama, they could well be on the outside looking in. #CrimsonTide #Tigers
  • Stanford’s standing taller, while ND is looking smaller. #FightingIrish #Stanford
  • MSU runs away from, and through, the Scarlet Knights at Piscataway. #Spartans #ScarletKnights
  • Mountaineers couldn’t mount much resistance in this lopsided affair… what with no Grier to fill the air. #Sooners #Mountaineers
  • With Heisman still on its QB’s brain … but with nothing else really to gain… OK St. still could not be disturbed as it easily kicked Kansas to the curb. #Cowboys #Jayhawks
  • Clemson goes into South Carolina’s Palmetto ghetto and settles a score. #Tigers #Gamecocks
  • Georgia warms up for its 2nd crack at Auburn by undressing the Yellow Jackets. #Bulldogs #YellowJackets
  • Penn St. pins a most embarrassing loss on the Twerps. #NittanyLions #Terrapins
  • Buckeyes wonder whether foul play on the sidelines sidelined Barrett, but also now know that asking Haskins to pick up the slack was by no means out of the question. As concerns Harbaugh, he and his Wolverines continue to look forlorn with O’Korn. #Wolverines #Buckeyes

NCAAF Top 25 Update, Recap and Perspectives: Friday, 11-24 (click post for audio)

NCAAF Top 25 Update:

  • Miami’s charmed life finally catches up with them in Pittsburgh, turnover chain and all, as the Panthers throw a wicked curve ball into their BCS playoff picture in the form of freshman QB Pickett. #Panthers #Hurricanes
  • Bulls try to pull the wool over their Florida brethren, but in the end aren’t up to the task and fail to unmask the undefeated Knights. #Bulls #Knights
  • In what used to be a premium, rivalry week match up, the Frogs flog the Bears for all they’re worth in Ft. Worth. #Bears #HornedFrogs

NCAAF Top 25 Update, Recap and Perspectives: Saturday, 11-18 (click post for audio)

NCAAF Top 25 Update:

  • Special teams pose a special problem today for OK State and UCLA. #Wildcats #Cowboys #Trojans #Bruins
  • Was there even a sighting of any Illini fighting today in Columbus? Doubtful… #Buckeyes #Illini
  • After a promising start, loads of woe for Louisiana Monroe and cupcake vindication for Auburn. #Warhawks #Tigers
  • Fighting Irish land more than a few punches to the midsections of the Midshipmen. #Midshipmen #Fighting Irish
  • Gophers go 0-fer the entire game in embarrassing loss ast Evanston. #Wildcats #Gophers
  • After last week’s unpleasantries, Senior Day at Athens was a play station festival for Nick and Sony. #Wildcats #Bulldogs
  • Baker may have gone a bit over the line, but let’s face it … the Jayhawks had no business talking the talk when they couldn’t walk the walk. #Sooners #Jayhawks
  • Hurricanes continue to lead a charmed life in terms of opportune turnovers, but let’s give them their due for maintaining their composure when storm clouds were gathering at Miami Gardens. #Hurricanes #Cavaliers
  • This game was more like 1 yard and a cloud of dust for the stodgy Wolverines, who continue to sputter against real defenses. #Badgers #Wolverines
  • Another unsightly massacre of The Citadel by the Tigers. #Tigers #Bulldogs
  • Mercy killing time for Mercer. #CrimsonTide #Bears

On the Sunday, 11-12 edition of ChabDog Sports Talk (Pt. 2):


  • We go back to the good old days, when Spacey could negotiate real good severance packages and Hoffman was an ultra polite, apologetic and well-mannered hotel guest
  • Marc goes out of his way to make the point that “Girls like funny guys”
  • Dylan explains just why you shouldn’t scoff at Goff or pass him off as a flash in the pan
  • Eric goes crazy with the puns when he calls Young young, while Caruso goes crazy when he sees Steve’s Amazonian wife
  • As usual, ChabDog steps on a minefield when, against his better instincts, he picks the Skins
  • It’s morning again, at our studios in Newport Beach
  • Why Packer podcasters have apparently packed it in
  • Good for all those who refused to allow the Bears, of all teams, to receive 5
  • AP and Brady on the same team=cheesey
  • NE’s QB is the first employee in history to actually low ball his employer … ridiculous
  • The Chargers coming to LA was nothing short of a bowel movement
  • and more

NCAAF Top 25 Update, Recap and Perspectives: Saturday, 11-11 (click post for audio)

NCAAF Top 25 Update:

  • Sooner or later the truth had to come out about TCU … they just aren’t that good. OU puts the big ouch on the scorned Horned Frogs. #Sooners #HornedFrogs
  • Oh my was it a jailbreak tonight in Miami, in another installment of “Convicts vs. Catholics”. A very happy, Sappy ending for the ‘Canes, while Wimbush and Notre Dame come up totally lame in their campaign to remain in the main draw for the BCS playoff. #FightingIrish #Hurricanes
  • Things got a bit dark for Bama in Starkville, until the Tide turned things around with a frenetic finish in the fourth. #CrimsonTide #Bulldogs
  • Darnold has no problem shouldering the load for USC in Boulder. #Trojans #Buffalo
  • Sloppy Wisconsin still has the wherewithal to mop up the lifeless Hawkeyes. #Hawkeyes #Badgers
  • Georgia’s stay in the penthouse of the NCAA is a short one, as they’re evicted by Auburn for failure to pay rent. #Bulldogs #Tigers
  • To their credit, the Seminoles don’t roll over to Clemson, but FSU never had the Tigers by the tail, and for the first half weren’t even in the rear view mirror. #Seminoles #Tigers
  • Bulldogs will surely be pulled down in the polls after this thorough drubbing, while Auburn has cause for elation … though what has now set in is the annual Iron Bowl anticipation. #Bulldogs #Tigers
  • Not much spark for Ark in Baton Rouge. #Tigers #Razorbacks
  • Huskies get sent to doggie day care in Orlando, and come out looking real goofy. #Huskies #Knights
  • Yellow Jackets required for this Tech conference event in Atlanta put on by the ACC; Hokies should’ve decided to play hookey. #Hokies #YellowJackets
  • No surprise here, as Happy Valley turned out to be a very sad place for the Scarlet Knights … no funny tees were seen today by RU rooters, as this was definitely a case of “wrong place, wrong time”. #ScarletKnights #NittanyLions
  • Another absurd shootout goes to the pistol packing Cowboys … hey Big 12 fans, no need to get defensive about it … there’s no defense to be found anywhere in your conference. #Cowboys #Cyclones
  • NC State didn’t panic when it fell behind to the flighty BC Eagles … they kept their nose to the ground and plowed ahead with Hines. #Eagles #Wolfpack
  • No more horsing around at the Horseshoe for Ohio State, as the belligerent Buckeyes put a big pin to the Spartan hot air balloon. So much for the whispers that MSU is worthy of elite status; QB Lewerke, for one, needs a lot of work. #Spartans #Buckeyes

NCAAF Top 25 Update, Recap and Perspectives: Tuesday, 11-8 (click post for audio)

NCAAF Top 25 Update:

  • Yes, chaos reigns, but let’s get real… nobody’s tough enough to hang with ‘Bama, except maybe the Dawgs and the Dame…why the rest fall short:
    1) Clemson — (still wearing the Orange letter about their unexcused absence against the ‘Cuse;
    2) Chokelahoma, where the wins come sweeping down the plain … but where a defensive meltdown is always making lonely smoke signals in the sky;
    3) TCU — much ado about nothing;
    4) Miami — say a prayer for the pretender convicts;
    5) Wisconsin can badgers us for more respect all day … but just look where they play
    6) Washington — the PAC-10 is a bit fractured this year and seems more bluster than luster; and
    7) Auburn — there’s only room for 2 SEC teams in the BCS, and they aren’t invited to the party….

NCAAF Top 25 Update, Recap and Perspectives: Saturday, 11-4 (click post for audio)

NCAAF Top 25 Update:

  • There wasn’t an orgy of offensive creativity from Orgeron’s Tigers, so this was an utterly mano v. mano struggle between SEC heavyweights … and you know who wins that type of game. #Tigers #CrimsonTide
  • Knights get quite a scare, before breaking the rambunctious Mustangs. #Mustangs #Knights
  • TCU wins another uninspiring game with the Longhorns — this got long in the tooth in pretty short order. #Longhorns #HornedFrogs
  • Cool handed Luke Falk leads the Cougars over the Cardinals, and their ordinary offense. #Cardinal #Cougars
  • It’s Wake’s wake at South Bend, as ND wins again with Wimbush. #DemonDeacons #FightingIrish
  • Cowboy crazies skulk home with their collective tails between their legs after Stillwater becomes Mayfield’s ridiculous play field. #Cowboys #Sooners
  • The Iowa ‘Eyes had it today in a major way over the Ohio version, rolling out their extremely efficient Stanley Steemer to clean up the very messy situation in the Buckeye secondary. #Buckeyes #Hawkeyes
  • Feast for the Orange Tigers and famine for the feisty, but ever frustrated, Wolfpack, who made way too many mistakes, forgot about their running game and allowed the big play from Feaster, which opened the floodgates for Clemson in Raleigh. #Tigers #Wolfpack
  • On a day when Barkley didn’t have much bite, too many of Trace’s passes ended up in the place and newbie kicker Coghlin didn’t get all choked up, an always pesky Michigan State walks off with a surprise victory. #NittanyLions #Spartans
  • Bulldog Freshman Fromm delivers through the air, to the shock of the cocky Gamecocks. #Gamecocks #Bulldogs
  • Keeryon carries the ball on his hip, and Auburn on his back, on the way to another huge SEC road win… this time at College Station. #Tigers #Aggies
  • Memphis enjoys its playful tussle with the Golden Hurricane at Tulsa. #Tigers #GoldenHurricanes
  • Badgers do what Badgers do best — molest another under-qualified opponent in the bad, bad, bad Big 10 West. #Badgers #Hoosiers

And outside of the Top 25 —

  • Rutgers is no longer pissing away wins at Piscataway…good lord, what does the Scarlet Knights’ 3-3 record in league play say about the quality of the Big 10 … and as for MD, things are looking very dark in College Park… #ScarletKnights #Terrapins
  • Yale is 4-1 and 7-1 overall (leading the Ivy)… bowl eligible?

NCAAF Top 25 Update, Recap and Perspectives: Saturday, 10-28 (click post for audio)

NCAAF Top 25 Update:

  • Kelly and the rest of his Clemson heroes show they are not a total wreck, as they bravely take the Rambling Wreck to the local landfill. #Tigers #YellowJackets
  • Somehow, Stanford’s still standing…#Cardinal #Beavers
  • Wildcats strike it rich against Spartans, in a game between elite pretenders. #Wildcats #Spartans
  • Bruins leave Seattle in ruins; somebody please give Mora a clue on how to get these guys to tackle, as Jake Browning basically got the day off. #Bruins #Huskies
  • Mason makes a strong case that Grier the Mountaineer is no peer when it comes to contention for the Heisman. #Cowboys #Mountaineers
  • Miami’s still perfect, though that adjective applies not only to their undefeated record, but also to their predictably sloppy execution. This is NOT a top 10 team. #Hurricanes #TarHeels
  • The Big “I” in the middle of the field at Champaign stood for inept when it came to quarterback play against the stingy Badger defense. Wisconsin continues to enjoy its charmed life as the only competent team in the pathetic Big Ten West. #Badgers #Illini
  • There wasn’t much bend in the Fighting Irish defense today in South Bend, as Notre Dame stuffs the Wolfpack attack in a back pack and takes NC State to school. #Wolfpack #FightingIrish
  • With designs on being party of the final four, high flying TCU took aim at the Cyclones at Ames, but left as scorned Frogs. #HornedFrogs #Cyclones
  • Gator haters have a good ‘ol time at the outdoor cocktail party, as the Bulldogs romp and only have to make 7 passes. #Bulldogs #Gators
  • The best player at The Horseshoe today was J.T. of The Ohio State Buckeyes. Penn State wastes a golden opportunity get the inside track for the Big 10 title by trying to sit on a huge lead … not a good idea on the road at Columbus. #Buckeyes #NittanyLions

NCAAF Top 25 Update, Recap and Perspectives: Saturday, 10-21 (click post for audio)

NCAAF Top 25 Update:

  • Trojans are unprotected and exposed in South Bend — this was a whole lot worse than mere hole poking… this was maiming.
  • Still sore from last year, McSorley and the gang goes to the local Office Depot, buys plenty of white out, and proceeds to blot out any memory of last year’s loss to the overrated Wolverines. Sorry Jim, you weren’t at the Big House playing the Loosiers or Purdone… no this was a reckoning that was a long time coming in the land of Happy Valley. #Wolverines #NittanyLions
  • Pettway and the Alabama tigers weren’t about to let those little piggies from Arkansas get away. Hogs hardly had any say in the matter, as they are slow roasted on a spit at home in Fayetteville. #Tigers #Razorbacks
  • Mississippi misses lots of opportunities to put the squeeze on the juicy Guice machine, who ran uninterrupted at Oxford and led the Bayou Bengals to another resounding road victory in the SEC. #Rebels #Tigers
  • KU needs to fire everyone on its coaching staff right now, and let the players coach themselves. This was a totally unacceptable showing for a major conference school, on national TV. Negative total yardage? Allowing a punt return for TD when you had numerous clear shots on the returner, who was running toward his own goal line for more than a few seconds. The time for laughing or turning a blind eye is over. Time to clean house in Lawrence! TCU is a good team, but they aren’t world beaters, and Gary Patterson looked like he was going through the motions tonight … and who could blame him for looking a bit unconcerned. #HornedFrogs #Jayhawks
  • Was this a case of superlative Spartan defense, or just really sparse output (again) by winless (in conference play) Indiana? #Hoosiers #Spartans
  • Hokies makes UNC say “Uncle” … after 1 quarter … in Blacksburgh. #TarHeels #Hokies
  • OK State can still relate to a 3 pt, OT victory over the Longhorns, in which they only scored a solitary, paltry TD. This helps their record, but not Rudolf’s aspirations for the Heisman. #Cowboys #Longhorns
  • Hornibrook to Fumagalli, plus some typical production from Taylor, means the expected fumigation of the UM Terrapins at Camp Randall. #Badgers #Terrapins
  • Crimson Tide engulfs helpless Tennessee, despite Bama’s reluctance to roll out its regulars; that Nick Saban is such a nice guy … taking necessary measures to maintain the Volunteers within his sphere of influence! #CrimsonTide #Volunteers
  • Miami more or less dominates the Orange, but true to form does its level best to allow its opposition to stay within striking distance, until the waning moments. #Orange #Hurricanes

Law Office of Brandon S. Chabner

A Professional Corporation — providing business and outside general counsel services, including entity formation, contract drafting and negotiation and transaction structuring.

for more information, go to and mention promo code “CHABDOG” for a 20% discount on our regular hourly rate.

Winner of Easy Reader’s 2017 Best of Beach/Best Business Attorney