Because sports should never run your life ... retorts for sports

Category Archives: NCAAF

NCAAF Top 25 Update, Recap and Perspectives: Saturday, 10-14 (click post for audio)

NCAAF Top 25 Update:

  • Bob Devaney was rolling over after seeing this mass execution of Cornhuskers at Memorial. #Buckeyes #Cornhuskers
  • Nyhiem Hines continues to shine, and the Wolfpack continues to separate itself from the pack in the ACC Atlantic. #Wolfpack #Panthers
  • They may have an Uga mascot and be Chubby in the backfield, but Georgia sure looked gorgeous today, while Missouri was just plain miserable. #Tigers #Bulldogs
  • The light brown P certainly did refer to production, when today’s results (or lack thereof) against the Badger defense is taken into account. #Boilermakers #Badgers
  • It’s still Hurricane season in Miami! #Hurricanes #YellowJackets
  • Noah’s Ark didn’t have any Razorbacks that could play football, and today there’s weren’t many of those in Tuscaloosa. #Razorbacks #CrimsonTide
  • Bears stood still in Stillwater, while Cowpokes poked fun at them. #Bears #Cowboys
  • One of these sets of Tigers did not take their vitamins before coming out for the 2nd half. Mr. Ed may still be on the hot seat, but he’s bucking for extended benefits. #Tigers #Tigers
  • In a weird twist, Wildcats are just the latest victims to be fed to the Texas Christians. #HornedFrogs #Wildcats
  • Morgantown Grier really woke the home team up in the 2nd half in today’s upset of the Red Raiders. #RedRaiders #Mountaineers
  • Hoosiers put up a good front, but in the end they’re too weak and slow to be anything but born Loosiers in OT loss to stubborn, stodgy Michigan. #Wolverines #Hoosiers
  • Utes were real brutes, but in the end could not stop daring Sam Darnold. #Trojans #Utes

NCAAF Top 25 Update, Recap and Perspectives: Saturday, 10-7 (click post for audio)

NCAAF Top 25 Update:

  • Cyclones blow through Norman and ravage the countryside, taking advantage of unsuspecting Sooners and with their very capable signal caller Kempt, make an OU National Championship an unkempt secret. #Cyclones #Sooners
  • On a stormy night in Ann Arbor, it was another case of Spartan home invasion of the Big House … leaving Michigan’s very questionable attack woefully exposed. #Spartans #Wolverines
  • Hokies too strong for wimpy BC, and 13 point loss is a bitter pill for Golden Eagles at Chestnut Hill. #Hokies #GoldenEagles
  • Aggies get put through the wringer at home against the Tide, hanging in as best they can, but ultimately hung out to dry as Sumlin’s gang was missing that special something on offense. #Aggies #CrimsonTide
  • Wrong place, wrong time for the sucky Beavers, who get completely outplayed and waylaid in LA. #Trojans #Beavers
  • Froggies prove their mettle in Ft. Worth when Hill’s acrobatic run gives them deliverance against the Mountaineers. #Mountaineers #HornedFrogs
  • Buckeyes consume some turtle steak ribeye at home, prompting Maryland’s AD to begin filling out an application for the Misfit Conference … unfortunately, the Big 10 already has one shoe-in applicant …. Toys RU. #Terrapins #Buckeyes
  • Looks like the dainty Tar Heels didn’t dig in their high heels enough on defense tonight. #FightingIrish #TarHeels
  • Give FSU credit for showing up today, but as regards their offense, it was still the same ol Seminole story of too little too late. #Hurricanes #Seminoles
  • After getting more than annoyed by Troy, the Tigers circle the wagons and come out in the swamp like fire breathing dragons. The result is an important recovery win over the hated Gators in Gainesville. #Tigers #Gators
  • Things go south for Northwestern in Q3 and that’s all she wrote. Another Big 10 bloodbath between the haves and the have nots. #NittanyLions #Wildcats
  • The “V” on the Vandy helmets should’ve been replaced with a “JV” given the obvious ease with which the big bad Bulldogs pushed aside the candy ass Commodores. #Bulldogs #Commodores
  • Hungry Wolfpack isn’t very impressed with Mr. Heisman winner, since today, they had the more balanced attack, including a very productive Nyheim Hines. #Cardinals #Wolfpack
  • Another total miss for Ole Miss. #Rebels #Tigers
  • At Clemson, the reigning ACC Champs held a wake for Wake’s moribund offense, and the Tigers routinely run out the clock after QB KB leaves with an injury. Ho hum. #Tigers #DemonDeacons
  • Nebraska nebbishes now have a big blemish on their Big 10 record after encounter with the bad boy Badgers. #Badgers #Cornhuskers

NCAAF Top 25 Update, Recap and Perspectives: Saturday, 9-30 (click post for audio)

NCAAF Top 25 Update:

  • Gunslinger Rudolf hits enough targets to allow OK St to evade an upset at the hands of the Red Raiders. #Cowboys #RedRaiders
  • No surprises in Blacksburg, as Clemson puts the clamps on choking Hokies. #Hokies #Tigers
  • Buckeyes roll in to Piscataway and totally gut Rutgers… so much for the Talladega Scarlet Knight’s fight for respectability. #Rutgers #Buckeyes
  • Blase Bayou Bengals get burned in Death Valley by pack of opportunistic Trojans. Humble pie/humiliation for the proud SEC. #Tigers #Trojans
  • Alright Hamilton! Fast times in Happy Valley for the Lions. #Hoosiers #NittanyLions
  • Bulldogs get neutered in Auburn and get pacified by some electrifying play from Jarrett and Johnson. #Bulldogs #Tigers
  • Louisville murders Murr State, with most of the violence occuring in the first half, at which point lethal Lamar was told to cool off. #Racers #Cardinals
  • TN gets knocked out in Knoxville, as QB Fromm romps. #Bulldogs #Volunteers
  • Wisconsin thought it had this game well in hand, before NW got calibrated and made things a bit interesting; they’ll need to be sharper if they hope to hang with the conference elite. #Wildcats #Badgers
  • Mississippi lets loose with a Rebel yelp … for help…. in Tuscaloosa, but no paramedics can be found in time. #Rebels #CrimsonTide

NCAAF Top 25 Update, Recap and Perspectives: Saturday, 9-23 (click post for audio)

NCAAF Top 25 Update:

  • In a somewhat sloppy affair, Urban’s assault vehicle blows away the Runnin Rebs. #RunninRebels #Buckeyes
  • Seminoles look only semi-tough without their leader at QB; NC State does what it does once every 5 years and beats a ranked opponent on the road. #Wolfpack #Seminoles
  • Sooners do their level best to bail out Baylor, but in the end can’t resist sacking Zack to preserve victory. #Sooners #Bears
  • Iowa’s dreams of a monster upset of the Lions vanish with a Trace TD pass. #Hawkeyes #NittanyLions
  • It’s an old habit, but VT can’t stop asserting dominion over ODU.  #Hokies #Monarchs
  • Alabama engineers its standard trashing of the Commodores in Nash. #CrimsonTide #Commodores
  • TCU corrals OK State when previously unbeaten Cowboys turnover more than a new leaf. #HornedFrogs #Cowboys
  • Men of Troy have a great time toying with Berkeley.  #Trojans #Bears
  • LSU pays its out-of-conference dues by conquering the ‘Cuse.
  • Another moderately mediocre Michigan mastering of a run-of-the-mill Big 10 opponent. #Wolverines #Boilermakers

NCAAF Top 25 Update, Recap and Perspectives: Saturday, 9-16 (click post for audio)

NCAAF Top 25 Update:

  • Michigan adopts a Speight and see attitude in the dead zone, settling for 3-pointer and letting their defense take care of things against pass unhappy Air Force. #Wolverines #Falcons
  • South Florida welcomes the sickly Illini with candy and Flowers, and the result is a swift kick in the groin from the Bulls. #Illini #Bulls
  • Over hill, over dale… Cowboys hit the dusty trail, and Mason goes rolling along… #Cowboys #Panthers
  • Like death and taxes, another Bama steamroller. #Rams #CrimsonTide
  • Ft. Worth’s Frogs jump too high for SMU’s grounded ponies. #Mustangs #HornedFrogs
  • It was definitely a feast for Clemson’s potent running game by committee, led by Chairman Feaster. #Tigers #Cardinals
  • Another moment of glory for Cleveland, … this time in Gainesville, as the Florida finishes off the Vols. #Gators #Volunteers
  • Longhorns hang in for a long time before succumbing to SC. #Longhorns #Trojans
  • Green Wave engulfed by Norman maroon tide, and the excellence of Baker Mayfield. #GreenWave #Sooners

NCAAF Top 25 Update, Recap and Perspectives: Sunday, 9-10 (click post for audio)

NCAAF Top 25 Update:

  • Finally, USC takes a stand against the Stanford jinx. #Trojans #Cardinals
  • Horned Frogs invade Fayetteville and leave Arkansas with plenty of warts on the Razorbacks. #Razorbacks #HornedFrogs
  • TN couldn’t wait for its game against Indiana State … even better than drawing Indiana…and they didn’t have to deal with Larry Bird #Sycamores #Volunteers
  • Give K-State credit for taking advantage of the fact that they could put a line on their schedule for the 49ers. #Wildcats #49ers
  • Hokies choke the life out of the slow poke Blue Hens. #Hens #Hokies
  • Louisville makes N. Car cool its heels when Lamar’s talent goes real far at Chapel Hill. #Cardinals #TarHeels
  • Pitt gets frustrated in the red zone, while Penn State spends plenty of time in the end zone. Happy day in Happy Valley. #Panthers #Lions
  • No suprise as it’s no contest between Bama and Fresno. #CrimsonTide #Bulldogs
  • Field day for Mayfield at the Horseshoe. #Buckeyes #Sooners
  • FA Owls put up a brave front, but don’t turn many heads as they get battered at Camp Randle. #Owls #Badgers

NCAAF Top 25 Update, Recap and Perspectives: Sunday, 9-3 (click post for audio)

NCAAF Top 25 Update:

  • Sumlin will be drinking much more than a Molson tonight, after JJ’s extra point sealed his team’s doom — how exactly do you lose a 34 point lead in a little over a quarter. That is not the level of toughness that will serve you well in the hell of the SEC. As for UCLA, looks like they have a nice, smart young man at quarterback, … Mr. Josh Rosen. #Aggies #Bruins
  • The preferred delivery vehicle at Fed Ex tonight was not WV mountain man Will Grier, but rather the versatile, more athletic Josh Jackson. #Hokies #Mountaineers

NCAAF Top 25 Update, Recap and Perspectives: Saturday, 9-2 (click post for audio)

NCAAF Top 25 Update:

  • Turtles wax the Horns in somewhat shocking fashion, owning the line of scrimmage and racing out to a huge advantage that ultimately stands up… is this the new nadir for Texas football? #Terrapins #Longhorns
  • Kent doesn’t make so much as a dent in the Tigers’ Death Valley d-fence. #Tigers #GoldenFlashes
  • Akron is told to zip it in trip to Happy Valley. #Lions #Zips
  • Led by Baker the completion maker, the Sooners step all over UTEP. #Sooners #Miners
  • After a spotty start, Wolverine machine runs efficiently, given a nice kick start by the foot of mighty Quinn. #Wolverines #Gators
  • Miami digests a tasty cupcake in the form of Bethune-Cookman; ideal get-your-feet-wet game for ‘Canes coach Mark Richt. #Hurricanes #Wildcats
  • Not surprisingly, heavyweight Auburn finds a way to carry on after Kerryon pulls up lame early in the game. #Tigers #Eagles
  • Lamar gives Louisville just enough firepower to shake the Boilermakers. #Cardinals #Boilermakers
  • Mason makes his initial case for the Heisman, right along side of Baker. #Cowboys #GoldenHurricane
  • Buckeyes pull down Hoosiers’ bloomers in Bloomington. #Buckeyes #Hoosiers

On the Sunday, January 15 divisional playoffs edition of ChabDog Sports Talk:

On the Sunday, January 15 edition of ChabDog Sports Talk:
— Eric the Well-read tells us how he gets well-stocked for Sunday football with a continuous stream of vitamin water and vodka, and apologizes for being with us only in fits and … spurts the week before;
— the Patriots (or is it the DNC?) wreak havoc with Frank Fleming’s AT&T phone line;
— Why when it comes to big busts, Houston’s Brock has it all over Erin Brock;
— What’s really under the Trump mask;
— Understanding that the world doesn’t revolve around the Golden Globes;
— We treat listeners to the tantalizing banter of the one and only Hank Stram, and how one matriculates the ball down the field;
— Learning how droll Chuck Noll exercised total control;
— Recalling the last KC victory in the playoffs, when NBC’s on air menu included the Juice;
— For the most part, our distinguished panel calls it for Pittsburgh and the Pack (sorry Marc);
— What it’s like to be a Goodell dumbbell;
— Marc reveals his marriage to the White Widow, and how he became “the most annoying man in the world”;
— the elusive wanderings of diminutive Dion Lewis;
— disputing the relative merits of DeShaun Watson;
— Why Big Ben has a little Paul Pierce in him, and the truth about the Truth’s stabbing incident;
— Launching the careers of “Jackhammer” and Limp Noodle in Simi Valley;
— Tales from Feech’s card game;
— Why the two bathtubs in the Cialis commerrcial;
— and more

NCAA Football Bowl Update, Recap and Perspectives: 1-9

NCAA Football Bowl Update:

  • Bama played things too close to the vest, and in the end tales of Tiger frailty at crunch time were emphatically laid to rest. The Tide showed their typical pride and grit, but lacked the killer instinct on offense, and could not deal with the athleticism of Watson and Miller. Congratulations to the ACC! #Tigers #CrimsonTide

On the New Year’s Day/Bloody Sunday, January 1 edition of ChabDog Sports Talk:

— Frank recounts how he survived a Shining holiday excursion to snowy Idaho;
— Tales of the Ohio St./Michigan/Nebraska Big 10 belly flop of epidemic proportions;
— the story behind the episode of excessive shoplifting at the Belk Bowl;
— What in god’s name happened to the Urban assault vehicle … even Harold Ramis couldn’t have helped them navigate through Clemson;
— Why the only parade that ChabDog ever liked was the one in Animal House (May I have 10,000 marbles, please?) … all other are parades of horribles;
— NE’s fury in South Beach is foreshadowed by Furio’s fury in his first job as Tony’s bill collector;
— Miami’s no-show status is confirmed by our all-star panel, despite the theoretical existence of an incentive (here’s pride looking at ya, and a possible trip to Houston);
— We look for soft landing spots for Rivers and Romo.
— Debating the relative merits of Tyrod Taylor … Eric is a believer but ChabDog insists he’s got no pocket presence (screw political correctness);
— Exposing the cheap, cheap cheap Buffalo Bills; what a bunch of skinflints;
— Marc wishes Frank a Happy New Year, and then proceeds to blow the broadcast up, in addition to the paper tigers playing the Patriots;
— “Dolphins sleeping with the fishes, paysanne”;
— Marc and Tony Puffer accurately predict a Redskin hand over in Landover, but how can you forget Riggo;
— Well-read sticks up for the honor of Denver and for the storehouse of knowledge that is the creator of the Sports e-Cyclopedia;
— But Frank does think Dallas will exit in the first round …. really? Perhaps if they play Green Bay.
— Marc the Jackhammer Caruso is born;
— Pauli “Walnuts” Gualtieri sends the message that you can overcome real adversity, like being kicked in the nuts by an old lady;
— Uniform agreement that the Lions are dead in the water of Green Bay;
— Live breaking news about Hollyweed;
— Confirmed — excessive use of vasoline can really leave you fuming;
— Marc is behind watching the Pats-Dolphins compared to the rest of us, but he’s happy the Patriots were quickly ahead;
— A lousy round of work for Rousey… she should take a lesson from Patricia Arquette in True Romance;
— Figuring out if Jets-Buffalo is the most meaningless game in Week 17, not to mention history;
— …. and more


NCAA Football Bowl Update, Recap and Perspectives: 1-2

NCAA Football Bowl Update:

  • Sugar — Mayfield was the best player on the playing field, and OU put a big ouch on the big bad puddy cats from Auburn. Poor Gus Malzahn was willing to do just about anything to get his team into the end zone for a meaningless TD. And poor me for having to listen to Brent Pussberger for about the 45th, or no 50th, year in a row. He sounded good in 1976 doing the NBA Finals, but enough is enough. Time for some new blood! #Sooners #Tigers
  • Rose — Kind of ironic that such an incredibly exciting game was won by real Boermeester. Penn St. did everything it could to win this one, except figure out a way to stop Freshman phenom Darnold, who enjoyed eating up the Green Acres at the Rose Bowl with plenty of completions. #Nittany LIons #Trojans
  • Cotton — Fumagalli’s acrobatic receptions snuff out Bronco resolve and ruin Western Michigan’s dreams of an undefeated season. #Broncos #Badgers
  • Outhouse — Given the standout performance of Austin in today’s Outback Steakhouse Bowl, perhaps the restaurant sponsor for this game should have been Applebees. In any event, Iowa’s dead offense made Florida’s look like the Great Show Turf 2. #Gators #Hawkeyes

Law Office of Brandon S. Chabner

A Professional Corporation — providing business and outside general counsel services, including entity formation, contract drafting and negotiation and transaction structuring.

for more information, go to and mention promo code “CHABDOG” for a 20% discount on our regular hourly rate.

Winner of Easy Reader’s 2017 Best of Beach/Best Business Attorney