Because sports should never run your life ... retorts for sports

Category Archives: NCAAM

NCAA Men’s Basketball Tournament Update — Championship Game: Monday, 4-2 (click post for audio)

NCAA Men’s Basketball Tournament Update — Championship Game:

  • Like clockwork, the Wolverines are left betwixt and between an unforgiving rock and a hard place, having to face judgement day against Jay, and end up Villanova’s latest victim. The Wildcats were certainly never tamed in this year’s tournament, and chomped through their competition in one of the most lopsided romps of all times. At least Michigan had someone on their side name Muhammed Ali…. #Wolverines #Villanova

NCAA Men’s Basketball Tournament Update — Final Four: Saturday, 3-31 (click post for audio)

NCAA Men’s Basketball Tournament Update — Final Four:

  • It took a while, but Michigan finally figured out you can’t cover Moe Buckets with a muppet. When the dust had cleared, Sister Jean cleaned out her locker early, and her wheelchair was seen leaving the Alamodome for home … with some serious skid marks. #Ramblers #Wolverines
  • On the second day of Passover, Paschall and friends made sure that Kansas went out meekly like the Seder plate’s paschal lamb…. as in dead on arrival. In every sense of the word, the Wildcats grabbed this National Semi-final game by the throat and never let up on the pressure. It was a complete and utter demolition, and proof positive that Jay’s guys indeed have the Wright stuff. #Jayhawks #Wildcats

NCAA Men’s Basketball Tournament Update — Elite Eight: Sunday, 3-25 (click post for audio)

NCAA Men’s Basketball Tournament Update — Elite Eight:

  • Duke had KU right where they wanted them, when the Kansas big man
    ‎Udoka Azubuike sat down with 4 fouls mid-way through the 4th quarter; that was when Duke needed to make its move/stretch its lead, … but that is not what happened. And now, San Antonio is saying hello to Newman and the Jayhawks.Exactly what went wrong for the Blue Devils? Yes, they put their trust at the end in Grayson Allen, who tried an off-balance bank shot that clanked out. A better choice would’ve been to go in to Bagley, who was consistently getting the shots he wanted or perhaps setting up a play for Duval or Trent. However, the bigger mistake was that 2-3 zone, which never stopped Kansas from getting the open shots it wanted, including the 3 that sent the game into OT. For whatever reason, Coach K did not trust that his guys could carry off a man-to-man approach.

    Villanova doesn’t play that way and won’t make that kind of mistake, so we should be in for one heck of game in the final four . #BlueDevils #Jayhawks

  • Rabble of Red Raiders didn’t look quite ready to rumble with the Cats from “Nova. This game shows that the No. 1 overall seed can win ugly, and has a tough-as-nails defense to go with their often ostentatious offense. They’ll certainly need this intensity if they hope to topple Kansas in the next round. #RedRaiders #Wildcats

NCAA Men’s Basketball Tournament Update — Elite Eight: Saturday, 3-24 (click post for audio)

NCAA Men’s Basketball Tournament Update — Elite Eight:

  • It certainly wasn’t pretty, or even girl-next-door easy on the eyes, but the Wolverines cleaned up from the foul line and forced their way into the Final Four by sneaking past the colder than cold shooting Seminoles. Hey Moe! You were no stooge, coming up with a dozen huge points and defending the honor of the Maize and Blue on the board against the legions of Leonard. But let’s be clear … Beelein’s blue had better be sharper if they hope to stop the big Mo of Loyola of Chicago. #Wolverine #Seminoles
  • Cinderella’s wearing the ruby slippers at this year’s big dance, and she ‘aint from Kansas… no she’s from C-town, and she’s on a mission from God to bring the title back after a 55 year hiatus. Ramblers grill Weber’s Wildcats to a fine crisp and move on to the Final Four. #Ramblers #Wildcats

NCAA Men’s Basketball Tournament Update — Sweet Sixteen: Friday, 3-23 (click post for audio)

NCAA Men’s Basketball Tournament Update — Sweet Sixteen:

  • Duke looked a bit sleepy at times, but got to work by going right over the top of the Syracuse zone, with lots of lobs snagged by Bags, and points when it counted from the other starters. Give the Orange serious credit for fighting hard, but they needed to be more perfect from the line and couldn’t afford to lose the battle of the boards. #Orange #BlueDevils
  • West Virginia pushed all its usual buttons, but Villanova wasn’t about to be controlled in an intense, pitched battle. The difference — Wildcat execution on the offensive end, which is where the Mountaineers usually shoot themselves in the foot. #Mountaineers #Wildcats
  • Jayhawks followed their recent blueprint to perfection — racing to a lead and then holding on for dear life. That worked today, in a virtual home game against the very spunky Clemson Tigers, but KU will need to show more poise against the boys from Durham. #Jayhawks #Tigers
  • Yet another year when Texas Tech, or someone else, wrecks the party for poor Purdue. #Boilermakers #RedRaiders

NCAA Men’s Basketball Tournament Update — Sweet Sixteen: Thursday, 3-22 (click post for audio)

NCAA Men’s Basketball Tournament Update — Sweet Sixteen:

  • Leonard’s legion of naughty ‘Noles gradually overwhelms and neuters the well-meaning Bulldogs. Make no mistake, these guys are extremely deep and dangerous … the kind of team nobody wants to face. #Bulldogs #Seminoles
  • Kentucky’s starters clearly ate their wing span oat bran for breakfast, but forgot to drink enough carrot juice … that basket sure came in blurry for most of the game, particularly on those pesky free throws, not to mention all those careless to’s. In the end, the difference was K-State’s superior experience, with the very poised, very solid Barry Brown, Jr. #Wildcats #Wildcats
  • Michigan trades 2 for 3 to perfection, and early on delivers a crushing blow to the A&M midsection. #Aggies #Wolverines
  • On a mission from God, Loyola (Chi) is now in the Elite 8 thanks in large part to their hero Downtown Marques Townes. #Ramblers #Wolf Pack

NCAA Men’s Basketball Tournament Update — Round of 32: Sunday, 3-18 (click post for audio)

NCAA Men’s Basketball Tournament Update — Round of 32:

  • Looks like Cincy wasn’t alone as a big Queen City favorite blowing a double-digit lead at Bridgestone. Poor Xavier, which played so well this year and had more talent than seemingly ever before, opened the door just enough to let a relentless FSU team come barging in. And during the last 30 seconds, some questionable strategy by Chris Mack, in having his troops leisurely walk the ball up when trailing by three and having his center Kanter take the last shot from beyond the arc (which drew nothing but air), was the nail in the coffin. Meanwhile, the Seminoles look more than ready to keep playing, with a great coach in Len Hamilton, tons of athleticism and a hardcore belief that they belong. #Xavier #Seminoles
  • Never-say-die Nevada ensnares the Bearcats with a comeback for the ages; true to form, Cincy, which had put up such a solid front all year long, folds like a house of cards. #Bearcats #Wolfpack
  • The Defending Champs get stricken with a bad case of TAMU flu, and shouldn’t have bothered to even get outta bed. UNC was thrashed soundly in almost every aspect of the game, and aside from Joel Berry, brought very little to the table today. Pinson was particularly inept, refusing to shoot and getting rejected continuously. This game validates the emerging dominance of the SEC among the power conferences. #Aggies #TarHeels
  • Put this loss squarely on the job Jimmy B did outcouching Izzo. Syracuse controlled the pace, and cajoled Mich. St. into a mind numbing number of 3-point duds. Rule 101 of beating the zone was completely ignored by the Spartans all day — find the openings and then take things from the inside out. #Orange #Spartans
  • Purdue makes due with Haas, by staying in Haarms way … just barely. #Bulldogs #Boilermakers
  • Size matters, and no surprise here, as the Retrievers ultimately lose their way against K-St. #Retrievers #Wildcats
  • Auburn was too slow to stay with smooth Gabe DeVoe, who QB’d a very confident Clemson squad to a blow out win over Pearly’s toothless Tigers. Mark down a 4th spot in the final 16 for the formidable ACC. #Tigers #Tigers
  • Mountaineers hunt down and kill their little brothers from Huntington, led by dead-eye Devon. #Mountaineers #ThunderingHerd

NCAA Men’s Basketball Tournament Update — Round of 32: Saturday, 3-17 (click post for audio)

NCAA Men’s Basketball Tournament Update — Round of 32:

  • Buffalo made things a bit scary for another heavy favorite today, but in the end the gorgeous play of UK’s Gilgeous-Alexander was just too much to overcome. #Wildcats #Bulls
  • Super athletic Red Raiders edge out a very capable group of Gators and look well positioned for a run through to the quarters. #RedRaiders #Gators
  • Another game, another upset for the Mid-court Ramblers of Loyola (Chi), courtesy of Custer’s last second bucket, this time from two-point land. #Ramblers #Volunteers
  • Norvell rich Zags tag the Big 10 with another demoralizing loss; a small piece of good news for the otherwise basketball-deprived Left Coast. #Buckeyes #Bulldogs
  • KU’s sharp shooters were just a little too deadly for the Pirates to handle, though the Hall can’t be faulted for not putting out a 1st class effort. In the end, the Jayhawks simply presented too many match up problems on offense. #Pirates #Jayhawks
  • As decreed by Coach K, Duke imposes its will on the sacrificial Rams. #Rams #BlueDevils
  • No home in Sweet 16 for Alabama, as Villanova had way too much in terms of long range artillery. #CrimsonTide #Wildcats
  • Michigan wins on a heave and a prayer into the great beyond by Poole. #Wolverines #Cougars

NCAA Men’s Basketball Tournament Update — First Round: Friday, 3-16 (click post for audio)

NCAA Men’s Basketball Tournament Update — First Round:

  • The Orange whip, abuse and flog the Horned Frogs, slowing the game down to a brawl and crawl and winning in classic Jimmy B style. You play their game … you feel lots of pain. #Orange #HornedFrogs
  • Lyles and his pack of tenacious Retrievers expose the lie that was UVa’s #1 ranking, giving the ACC champs a seriously hard spanking. Tony Bennett looked completely catatonic, watching the #16 seed plow through his much ballyhooed defense like a knife through butter. And now the State of MD really has something to be proud of! #Retrievers #Cavaliers
  • Wildcat strike remains deadly, despite the absence of their top scorer, while Blue Jays’ shots go consistently astray. #Wildcats #BlueJays
  • Musselman’s all pumped up after the Pack decide they don’t want to pack it in, force OT and emerge with a huge comeback win. #Longhorns #Wolf Pack
  • MSU wins a virtual home game against plucky Bucknell, but the Spartans didn’t look completely sharp and will need to be more precise if they expect to force their way into the Final Four. #Spartans #Bison
  • Xavier looks a little ragged at points, but ultimately had no trouble taming the TSU Tigers. #Tigers #Musketeers
  • Classic Mountaineer win with lots of athleticism and extreme pressure on defense, which ensures that at least one West VA team will reach the Sweet Sixteen. #Moutaineers #Racers
  • Auburn really earns this win, working the boards and forcing turnovers with just enough regularity to chew up Charleston. #Cougars #Tigers
  • Bulldog defense weighs down the sluggish Razorbacks, who simply didn’t look ready to rumble. #Bulldogs #Razorbacks
  • Not enough Chapstick in the world to help Lipscomb today, as the Bison get sliced up nice by the Tar Heels from Chapel Hill. #TarHeels #Bisons
  • Cincy chooses to pass to Cumberland, and is now traveling to the Round of 32. #Panthers #Bearcats
  • Marshall plan executed to perfection by Jon and Jarrod against the astonished Shockers. #ThunderingHerd #Shockers
  • Painful win for Purdue, who must make due without their big Haas in the middle. #Titans #Boilermakers
  • Admon Gilder was the Aggies’ lead builder as A&M slides by the Friars. #Friars #Aggies
  • Orange Tigers looked fired up and won, while normal colored Tigers looked flat and tranquilized. #Tigers #Tigers #Seminoles #Aggies

NCAA Men’s Basketball Tournament Update — First Round: Thursday, 3-15 (click post for audio)

NCAA Men’s Basketball Tournament Update — First Round:

  • Koulechov and the heartless Gators methodically devour the Bonnies. #Bonnies #Gators
  • Hokies held it together nicely against the tough Tide, but get derailed when Bama gets a charge outta Justin and Buzz gets buzzed for a technical. #Hokies #CrimsonTide
  • Red Raiders recover their focus and properly size up the smaller Lone Star Lumberjacks of SF Austin. #Lumberjacks #RedRaiders
  • Michigan looked a big spooked in Wichita against a relatively uninspiring Montana squad, but recovers in the 2nd half to grind out a solid win over the Griz. #Grizzlies #Wolverines
  • It was a truly hair razing loss for Sean Miller and the mighty Wildcats, as they simply wilted in the face of the intense pace set by the very determined Buffalo Bulls. #Bulls #Wildcats
  • Bad day in the ‘Burgh for Radford, as the Highlanders get trampled by Villanova. #Wildcats #Highlanders
  • Freeman was playing free and easy, but the Blue Bucs never really let up, in a very physical, intense first round win. If they keep this intensity going against No. 1 KU, the rest of the world (outside of South Orange) could be in for a rude awakening. #Pirates #Wolfpack
  • Jumpin Jacks almost give Bucks a heart attack… #Jackrabbits #Buckeyes
  • Ramblers turn into quite the gamblers, pulling an ace on the river in the form of a near half court prayer that drains the shocked and appalled Hurricanes. #Ramblers #Hurricanes
  • As most of us thought, Iona didn’t have an iota of a chance against the Dukes of basketball. #Gaels #BlueDevils
  • KU quashes the Quakers after a shaky start, but will need to bring more to the table if they hope to sink the Pirates in the next round; with a gimpy Azubuike, things are getting a bit dicey for the Big 12 champs. #Quakers #Jayhawks
  • Today’s win for heavily favored Gonzaga was quite a long, drawn out saga, as it takes a late three from Norvell to quell the storm kicked up by the UNCG Spartans. #Spartans #Bulldogs
  • Congrats to Rick Barnes and the pugnacious Vols, who stuff more than a few down the collective throats of Wright St. This team is battle tested and dangerous….the field had better take note…#Volunteers #Raiders
  • URI and the undervalued Rams leave Trae Young and his overrated Sooners hung out to dry… oh my! #Sooners #Rams
  • Nice try but Davidson didn’t have enough sting in its sling to shoot its way past the Goliaths from Kentucky. #Wildcats #Wildcats
  • Cougs had just enough nifty moves to sidestep the Aztecs.  #Cougars #Aztecs

NCAA Men’s Basketball Tournament Update — Play-in Round: Wednesday, 3-14 (click post for audio)

NCAA Men’s Basketball Tournament Update — Play-in Round:

  • Quite a demonstration in Dayton from diminutive Damontrae stirs Texas Southern to victory. #Tigers #Eagles
  • Impudent Orange don’t even ask Hurley’s hell contingent for three steps, before refusing to recuse themselves from the big dance and move on to slog it out with the Horned Frogs. #Orange #SunDevils

NCAA Men’s Basketball Tournament Update, Recap and Perspectives: Tuesday, 3-13 (click post for audio)

NCAA Men’s Basketball Tournament Update (Play-in Round):

  • Radford makes blackbird pie out of LIU, and Highlanders achieve a temporary high, in advance of their inevitable execution come Thursday. #Highlanders #Blackbirds
  • Quite a misadventure today for the team that used to be coached by the Wizard of Westwood … losing in the play-in game to St. Bonaventure. UCLA’s prized possession, Aaron Holiday, accumulated 20 but fumbles away 10, and it’s safe to say Wooden would not have been smiling down from heaven on this hellish performance. #Bruins #Bonnies

NCAA Men’s Basketball Top 25 Update, Recap and Perspectives: Sunday, 3-11 (click post for audio)

NCAA Men’s Basketball Top 25 Update:

And now it’s time to formally name and assess the regions:

1. South — choppy and unbalanced
a) the crime of the tournament was possibly pitting Big Blue against the terrors from Tucson in the round of 32; how is that even possible?
b) don’t trust Virginia, even if it does get a reprieve against the Retrievers
c) aside from qualified Cincy, there are lots of also-rans in the lower half, including totally overrated Miami, sluggish Texas and not-so Wright St.
d) look for Kentucky or AZ to emerge from this rabble

2. West — definitely not the best
a) the committee did Xavier a big favor, gifting them a No. 1 seed, and giving them all the creature comforts that one could ask for … but don’t be so sure they’ll escape the jaws of the Missouri Tigers
b) there isn’t much else in the top half, other than Gonzaga and its bloated, padded record, and lots of statewide mediocrity with the Buckeyes, Seminoles and Jackrabbits.
c) North Carolina, as usual, gets a pleasure cruise to the Sweet Sixteen, where it will probably face a hungry group of Wolverines, and the winner here should advance on to San Antonio​

3. East — Not thrilling, but nice
a) With its talented guards, great coaching and wealth of experience, Villanova stands out as the class of this bracket, though Purdue and Florida may have something to say about that.
b) Look for Murray St., Marshall and/or Stephen F. Austin to pull off a mini-mega upsets, making this bracket look messier than Phyllis Diller’s hair, but in the end there really isn’t much reason to care

4. Midwest — “The Region of Death”
a) KU gets to play a bunch of small, slow, smart guys in round one, but will be pushed hard when they come up against the battle-tested Wolfpack of NC St (who will earn a Hall pass in the first round). The winner of this game should make it to the Elite Eight, where they’ll find either Duke or Michigan St. lying in wait.
b) Going with the Spartans to make it to the Final Four, as Coach K’s blue bloods have never really had the killer instinct all year, and nobody wants to see Izzo cry before the Finals.
c) Other close and highly entertaining games should be Auburn vs. Clemson in the Round of 32, AZ St./Syracuse (who has no excuse for even being in the tournament) and Oklahoma/URI … before all of these teams wish us their goodbyes prior to reaching the quarters.

NCAA Men’s Basketball Top 25 Update, Recap and Perspectives: Saturday, 3-10 (click post for audio)

NCAA Men’s Basketball Top 25 Update:

  • Mountaineers mount their typical campaign to discredit KU, only to relent and give way when things got serious in the 2nd half. Kudos to Kansas for getting this done without their big man down low, though who knows whether the Jayhawks can walk the walk when come tournament time. As for West Virginia, start running better plays! #Mountaineers #Jayhawks
  • No more divine providence for the Friars, who can’t extricate themselves from a disappointing defeat to Big East Kahunna Villanova. #Friars #Wildcats
  • Golden moment for the Retrievers, who find themselves back in the tournament after toppling the Catamounts. #Retrievers #Catamount
  • Virginia’s sitting on top of the college basketball world right now, but is this really a team to be feared? Only time will tell, and that moment is nearly upon us. #Cavaliers #TarHeels

Law Office of Brandon S. Chabner

A Professional Corporation — providing business and outside general counsel services, including entity formation, contract drafting and negotiation and transaction structuring.

for more information, go to and mention promo code “CHABDOG” for a 20% discount on our regular hourly rate.

Winner of Easy Reader’s 2017 Best of Beach/Best Business Attorney