Because sports should never run your life ... retorts for sports

Category Archives: Tennis

US Open Men’s Singles Update (Round of 16, Day 8):


US Open Men’s Singles Update:

  • Blood was spilled in the late night part of the session, and it wasn’t Millman’s , who took out the almighty Fed with some of the most energetic, inspirational tennis by an underdog you’ll ever see
  • Djokovic wills his way to a rather cumbersome, blue collar win over Sousa; yes, he has a lot left in his tank for rounds to come
  • Nishikori gives Kohlschreiber the cold shoulder in straights
  • Tennis’ largest palindrome has one again found a home in the quarters of a major

US Open Women’s Singles Update (Round of 16-Day 8):

US Open Women’s Singles Update (Round of 16-Day 8):

  • Sharapova’s ball toss was extra-terrestrial today, and that meant double-fault trouble for her against Suarez Navarro; Maria certainly fought hard, but her court coverage and service issues were too much to overcome
  • Madison massacres Cibulkova with raw power
  • Osaka outlasts Sabalenka, who needed some lessons in how gracefully accept defeat under bad circumstances
  • Tsurenko to tserve in the quarterfinals

US Open Women’s Update (Day 7):

US Open Women’s Singles Update:

  • It was no big deal for Serena to go from an intense skin tight cat suit, to a flowing purple blouse with ruffles, hiding her intimidating muscles; today she slipped a bit, but came up big in the third to clip Kanepi
  • Pliskova makes sure Barty’s party’s over
  • Sevastova didn’t have to sweat much in the third against Svitolina
  • Elise seemed to have taken leave of her good senses, trying to slug it out with Sloane

US Open Men’s Update (Day 7):

US Open Men’s Update:

  • Rafa teaches Basilashvili the basics of how to bash and bludgeon your way into the next round
  • KA’s no match for the metronome-like precision of Thiem’s ground game
  • Rafa teaches Basilashvili the basics of how to bash and bludgeon your way into the next round
  • Big John Isner inches closer to his first Grand Slam title by draining Raonic’s power source in five
  • Delpo didn’t need any helpo from the crowd, but certainly got it, as he completely aborts Borna, his opponent in tennis shorts

US Open Men’s Update (Day 6):

US Open Men’s Update (Day 6):

  • Fed eases his way into the next round, coasting so much that one of his shots successfully goes around the the post
  • Emaciated Gasquet probably wonders why he even bothers to play against his master, Djokovic
  • No. 4 Zverev takes an unexpected cold shower at the hands of Kohlschreiber
  • In the short end of the draw, Kei rejects diminutive Diego
  • This year the Millman is really delivering
  • Goffin wins points early and often against Struff
  • Cilic had his hands full with De Minaur, who’s so fast he can chase down a drop shot, stop on a dime, call his mother, and get to the next shot on time; … and what was with his shiny, green and blue /Seattle Seahawk prison stripe shirt

US Open Women’s Update (Day 6):

US Open Women’s Update:

  • Ostapenko should’ve hired an osteopath after all the times she got broken against hammering Maria
  • Kvitova lost her concentration today and got sent packing to camp Sabalenka
  • A bit of a strange loss for Kerber, who treated Dominika like she was larger than life
  • Bad day shopping for Kiki, who will want to forget a certain Marketa
  • Keys takes a while to start her engine, but eventually ruins Krunic

US Open Men’s Update (Day 5):

US Open Men’s Update:

  • Nadal starts out with a wobble, but cobbles together a very narrow 4 set victory over Khachanov
  • Anderson survives a close shave with Shapovalov
  • A slower, older Wawrinka is no match for the power and precision of Milos
  • Dominic’s rock solid groundies give Taylor Fritz fits
  • Isner continues to prove he’s not done after the great run at Wimbledon
  • del Potro overpowers Verdasco by using his racket like a deadly spatula, relentlessly jabbing with flat, heavy forehands

US Open Men’s Update (Day 4):

US Open Men’s Update:

  • Depressed Kyrgios gets up off of the coaching couch after an umpire-inspired therapy session to crush a shocked and appalled Hughes-Herbie
  • Roger fares well against Paire
  • Cilic snags a double bagel, while Novak takes a coffee break in the 3rd set, but otherwise creams Sandgren
  • Fognini finds his game to be all bottled up by Aussie Millman
  • On court casualties include Monfils (falls to pieces) and Busta (all busted up)

US Open Women’s Update (Day 3):

US Open Women’s Update:

  • Williams vs. Williams materializes earlier than usual, but is there any reason to be excited?
  • Sloane pushed harder than she would have liked before Kallinina leaves her alone
  • Big Vicky’s back and is as pushy as ever
  • A passel of other seeds sprout to victory, with a bunch of last letter A-listers left standing (Elina, Karolina, Barbora, Anastasija)

US Open Men’s Update (Day 3):

US Open Men’s Update:

  • A bit of sour grapes for the scowling Scot as he gets dismantled in 4 by Verdasco and points fingers after a chatty Latin bathroom break; more evidence that Andy isn’t back on track, as Fernando finished him off in rather convincing fashion
  • Thiem steams ahead in five against Stevie Johnson
  • Delpo destroys Denis
  • Isner tarries but finally carries off the victory against Tarry
  • Shapo is able to gain separation from Seppi
  • A stoic Jack Sock continues to be a real majors disappointment
  • Chardy is tardy to the party against Kevin Anderson
  • Nadal left in good humor after bout with Pospisil
  • Raonic easily swats away Giles the gadfly
  • Ugo’s ego is cut down to size by Stanislas

US Open Women’s Update (Day 2):

US Open Women’s Update:

  • Keyes puts pushes Parmenier outside the perimeter of the draw
  • Sharapova is extended against elder stateswoman Schnyder
  • Bouchard tars and feathers Harmony Tan
  • Wozny’s back in the mix, as she sticks to her defensive game plan against sitting bull Stosur
  • Konta can’t get much going against Garcia
  • Flipper Flipkens turns the tables on favored Vandeweghe


US Open Men’s Update (Day 2):

US Open Men’s Update:
  • After a Titanic-like treasure bath (filled with large icebergs) Novak recovers his mojo and rewrites the history of this year’s open … hail Caesar
  • Sugita looks totally gassed against Gasquet
  • Relatively cushy win for Kukushkin
  • Bernakis blows a kiss to the crowd as he exits prematurely
  • Meyer didn’t last long against Laslo
  • Sousa rolls over Granollers
  • Struff does a good job strutting his stuff against Smyczek
  • Not so sanguine outlook for Sandgren
  • Fed drops more than a few big ones on Yoshihito

US Open Women’s Update (Day 1)

US Open Women’s Update:

  • Halep has a conniption fit against Kanepi
  • After announcing to the world that she’ll show up at next year’s French in a Crest toothpaste cat suit, a thicker Williams hits all the narrow lines against Linette
  • Stephens makes road kill out of Rodina
  • Pliskova buries Diyas under the diasdais
  • Bogan cruises against Bouzkova
  • Nowhere for Dolehide to run and hide from Witthoeft

Law Office of Brandon S. Chabner

A Professional Corporation — providing business and outside general counsel services, including entity formation, contract drafting and negotiation and transaction structuring.

for more information, go to and mention promo code “CHABDOG” for a 20% discount on our regular hourly rate.

Winner of Easy Reader’s 2017 Best of Beach/Best Business Attorney