I was doing very well last week up until Monday Night Football. The Pittsburgh lock worked out well thanks to the Jets’ continued incompetence and Washington predictably destroyed Carolina despite the injury to Jayden Daniels that will torpedo my fantasy football season. My card was looking really good when Tampa Bay jumped out to an early lead on Baltimore, but then Lamar Jackson ruined all the fun and Baker Mayfield threw a pair of mind-numbing interceptions to help him out. In the ESPN+ game that no one watched, the Chargers failed to reach the end zone and lost to the Cardinals while Cameron Dicker scored more fantasy points than Kyler Murray to hand me a fantasy loss in a match that I had in the bag. Talk about the worst of both worlds.
So that is how I ended up 7-8 and below .500 for a third straight week. The overall record is 49-57-1. Let’s turn it around!
Minnesota at LA Rams +3.5
The Vikings finally suffered a loss last Sunday against Detroit in a game that I correctly predicted. The Rams just beat Las Vegas to keep their season from totally imploding, and an upset over the Vikings could be a big part of Los Angeles’ turnaround. The return of Cooper Kupp and the Rams’ 2-1 record at home this season will give them the edge. Ram it!
Baltimore -9.5 at Cleveland
The Ravens are a juggernaut and I cannot bet against them again until they slow down. Maybe it will be this week against Cleveland’s tough defense and some Jameis Winston magic. I will take my chances with that.
Tennessee at Detroit -10.5
Jared Goff just doesn’t throw incomplete passes anymore and the Titans have even less of a passing offense than before because they traded DeAndre Hopkins.
Arizona +3.5 at Miami
Tua Tagovailoa is coming back to rescue the Dolphins even though the Twitter doctors haven’t cleared him yet. I don’t know how that is legal. I will give Tua a week to shake the rust off and go with the frisky Cardinals.
NY Jets at New England +6.5
Another Jets line that makes no sense. The New England offense has been revived by Drake Maye and the Jets’ defense collapsed in Russell Wilson’s Pittsburgh debut. The Jets are desperate, but maybe not in a good way.
Atlanta at Tampa Bay -2.5
The Falcons’ momentum was suddenly stopped with a surprise ass kicking at the hands of the Seahawks. Tampa Bay also got beat down horribly, but at least that was against a dominant team. The Buccaneers will be looking for revenge after their thrilling overtime loss in Atlanta three weeks ago. That revenge should be served if the defense just shows up a little bit.
Chicago at Washington +0.5
Here is the dirty little secret that no one is talking about: Washington’s offense didn’t slow down much when Marcus Mariota was under center last Sunday. The Commies can win this with our without Jayden Daniels.
Green Bay -4.5 at Jacksonville
The Packers have won five of six with four of the five wins coming by more than four points. Plus, I just traded Jordan Love away in fantasy and he is guaranteed to go off. The Jaguars got a much-needed win last week, but that doesn’t mean they are back to fulfilling expectations.
Indianapolis +5.5 at Houston
Anthony Richardson has been very disappointing this season, but against Houston in Week 1 he had his best game of the season. Plus, Jonathan Taylor looks like he is ready to return to action. That should allow the Colts to pound the ball and keep it away from C.J. Stroud.
New Orleans +7.5 at LA Chargers
Why do I keep dooming my picks with the Saints? They have gone from unstoppable juggernaut to one of the worst teams in the league. I am picking them again because the number is way too high against the feeble Chargers offense.
Buffalo -2.5 at Seattle
The Seahawks got a nice road win last week, but their defense has been dreadful lately, even at home. Buffalo should be able to run up the score.
Philadelphia at Cincinnati -2.5
Are the Bengals back? Their three wins have come against the Panthers, Giants, and Browns. However, Philadelphia hasn’t beaten anyone decent since Week 1. I am making an anti-Philly pick that is amplified by my fantasy match against Jalen Hurts and A.J. Brown.
Carolina at Denver -7.5
The Panthers stink and Bryce Young is back under center. Plus, Diontae Johnson and Adam Thielen are missing the game due to injury. The line has risen to 10.5, so let’s take advantage.
Kansas City at Las Vegas +10.5
You’re welcome, Kansas City! I keep picking against the Chiefs, and they keep winning despite their wide receiver injuries. Can DeAndre Hopkins give them some relief? He might be washed up, but he’s also getting a huge quarterback upgrade. Remember that Antonio Pierce led Las Vegas to a shocking upset at Arrowhead last year.
Dallas at San Francisco -5.5
Wow, I really thought the Cowboys had their act together after that gritty win in Pittsburgh, but then they got embarrassed by Detroit in Jerry World. Imagine if Russ had been ready to cook just a little earlier? These Cowboys could be 2-4! The 49ers have also been disappointing, but I think they will take their frustration out on Dallas.
NY Giants +5.5 at Pittsburgh
The Steelers’ offense was rejuvenated with Russell Wilson under center and they impressively routed the Jets last week while the Giants were totally feeble against Philadelphia. The Giants should get crushed here, but that’s what I thought before the Seattle game, so I am sticking with Big Blue this time.
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