Because sports should never run your life ... retorts for sports

NCAAM Update, Recap and Perspectives, Tuesday, 2-18-19:

https://www.facebook.com/ChabDog/

NCAAM Update:

  • How about taking a flier and deducing that Dayton may finally have its date with destiny. #Flyers #Rams
  • Big bad Baylor makes more hay in Big 12 play, ahead of its colossal confrontation with Kansas. #Bears #Sooners
  • Stubborn Badgers plod their way to a huge conference victory against pooped out Purdue. #Boilermakers #Badgers
  • Maybe it is high time for Len’s men to realize their god given potential, and return FSU to the finals for the first time since ’72; when this team is confident and clicking, they’re a formidable, fearsome foe. #Panthers #Seminoles
  • Maybe it is high time for Len’s men to realize their god given potential, and return FSU to the finals for the first time since ’72; when this team is confident and clicking, they’re a formidable, fearsome foe. #Panthers #Seminoles
  • No surprise that Maryland makes more room for itself atop the Big 10, while it’s no surprise that Northworstern slides further south in the conference standings. #Terrapins #Wildcats

On the “Don’t need another cup of Joe” CDST Show (Part 1):

 

On the CDST “Scrambled, Sunny Side Up Show” (Part 1):
— A great, great show, as Eric gives us a rare glimpse into the storehouse of sports knowledge that holds Frank’s brain
— Don’t look that-a-way … you could be in Piscataway if you’re watching football at RU
— We’re joined by Tank of Barstool Sports, who’s rumored to be in the running for the Mets as part of the A-rod consortium
— How to fix an NBA slam dunk contest (how can you jump over Taco Fall and not be able to keep up with the Joneses … no wonder there was a swearin Aaron). But seriously, why go to all that trouble.
— Who’s mind is responsible for the terribly idiotic and hopelessly meaningless new format for the NBA All-star game … you can dress this up however you want and it still looks like a pig (lip stick notwithstanding)
— Would someone please teach Giannis a post move?
— Wow, there’s a sighting of Chance the Rapper; is he related to Chauncey Gardner
— DW’s not very superhuman Superman slam gets a 49 (what a joke)
— How about that sexy acquisition by Brody’s Bunch of Jedd “Deadwood” Lowrie … ha ha ha
— An excellent, Flemingish XFL update
— A not so tender clip of McGloin
— Explaining why Raftery is known for his onions
— Why has Seton Hall left the building?
— We’re happy to announce that Rutgers has finally emerged from it’s no-hope-for the NCAA rut. What were you doing in 1991?
— Some low lights are shined on the tarnished Tar Heels; boy has that worm thrown a tizzy at the expense of despondent Roy.
— The ultimate NCAA misfit (Columbia). Yes, the college version of the Lions is even less competitive than the pro variety.
— Sorry state of affairs for Chicago State. And the University of Bob Denver isn’t any better. Holy Cross is getting the holy @#$#$ beaten out of them. Time to call them the “Lusaders”.
— As for Evansville, everyone is getting even (and then some with them). Someone needs to show Howard how to get it done.
— Eric confuses Idaho State and Boise.
— The Kennesaw State Owls are so bad they’re making Judge Mountain Landis throw up on himself in the grave.
— Hey a lot has happened over longtime commish Kennesaw’s dead body (including integretion of the majors).. The judge was a real nice guy (“son, just do the best you can – to do those years”) (“Gentlemen, I’m due back in court in 5 minutes … let’s talk salary”)
— Bowie Kuhn, whose era was known for strikes. And he also had a great name.
— A recommendation for baseball’s survival…use free internet to get your product in front of people
— An interview you won’t want to miss with the Shah of Iran (giving important insights into the genesis of pervasive anti-West feelings of resentment in Iran and the dynamics of oil markets in the late 70s)
— ChabDog espouses new respect for the State College of New Jersey
— Under 20 degrees is not dog walking weather (sorry Bingo)
— A word about Leo .. the latest family dachshund … the foot long hot dog … and then some
— Who would you rather watch … PK “puke” Subban or “Bad Bunny”
— Team Giannis vs. Team Lebronis (we can hardly contain ourselves)
— The conversation rotates toward rotars
— Getting happily sidetracked with Bonnie and Clyde

NBA Update, Recap and Perspectives, Wednesday, 2-12-20:

https://www.facebook.com/ChabDog/

NBA Update:

  • Don’t look now, but the Griz are making an earlier than expected push up to the playoffs this Feb…. with another very voluptuous, stat-packing night for Valanciunas. On the skimpier side of things, there’s Carmelo’s shocking shooting %, which wasn’t helped by tonight’s 1 for 15. TrailBlazers #Grizzlies
  • No Giannis … no excuse for the Pacers not to hold on to their big lead, which they did (barely). #Bucks #Pacers
  • For the first time in 16 opportunities, the Raptors finally fall flat in a trap game, getting ensnared by the needy Nets. #Raptors #Nets
Categories: NBA

Go long on the Short Rib plate at The Grindz … you’ll be rewarded handsomely for your modest investment

Taste the perfection of juicy, tender short ribs, falling off the bone and dressed with delicious teriyaki sauce.  At the Grindz, they certainly don’t short you on the meat, and with the plate, you’ll get your veggies, rice and mac salad as a wonderful complement to the main course.  My only bone of contention is that the lunch had to end at some point.

Check it out at The Grindz @1601 (1601 PCH in Hermosa Beach); you be glad you made the trip.

NCAAM Update, Recap and Perspectives, Tuesday, 2-11-19:

https://www.facebook.com/ChabDog/

NCAAM Update:

  • Spartans spring to life with some rough and tough stuff down low; meanwhile, a big disappointment for the Illini, who lose their star guard in addition to the game itself. #Spartans #FightingIllini
  • Maryland survives after inexplicably going into a second half reverse at College Park. #Cornhuskers #Terrapins
  • Important win for the wuff pack, as they scrap to stay above .500, and tournament eligible in the all-powerful ACC. #Wolfpack #Orange

On the “Don’t need another cup of Joe” CDST Show (Part 2):

On the “Don’t need another cup of Joe” CDST Show (Part 2):
— Falling into a pleasant time warp as we chug down the Rocky Horror Picture Show soundtrack (that Blowfeld certainly can dance, and how about that sweet transvestite from transsexual Transylvania)
— (I’m glad we caught you at home. Could we use your phone?)
— (So come up to the lab, and see what’s on the slab).
— Going over our collective accomplishments during hour 1, including a live plant inside the XFL game.
— Somehow ChabDog forgot about “The Vipers” from Tampa Bay
— Biden’s biding his time until South Carolina, but he just keeps sliding
— Eric, we agree there is nothing savory to recount about the Harvey trial … the intersextion of entertainment and law and order
— Hear Jack Lemon clear his sinuses in a very odd couple of ways HMMMAH, HMMAH, HMUHH, HMMAH
— Super Bowl memories …Well-read finds another excuse to mention Travis Henry, … then highlights Kansas City’s back-against-the-wall turnaround, San Fran’s benign neglect of the running game, and Mahomes uncanny ability to hone in on the essential connection.
— Male pattern baldness on bald display in the impeachment trial
— More anguishing (or languishing?) over the Irishman (some other scenes that just didn’t make sense)
— What was produced out of this year’s NBA trade deadline? Wiggins to GSW, Clippers get Morris, Pistons lose their security blanket in the big Drummond, and Iggy/Crowder are now crowing the South Beach bench.
— And none of us are willing to bet on Betts transforming the Doyyers
— Tank returns, briefly armed with a blue tooth and a fashion update from the game (hideous green helmets and jerseys with gargoyles)
— It’s only 10:30 am, but the TV is already being polluted by all this infernal Oscar hype
— We look in on The Ohio State taking on Wisconsin.
— ChabDog’s concise take on the oft-forgotten NHL
— SNL Cold Open, with some very shaky Susan Collins, that sneaky Mitch, and Jon Lovitz doing Dershowitz … wasn’t the sh-Devil the cute blonde from Happy Gilmore?
— Why Mr. Peanut went to Hell.
— Eric’s question about whether those XFL’ers wear socks goes unanswered
— Getting psyched up about Siakam (ChabDog explains)
— 7 legitimate non-dwarfs in the NBA West
— The scary truth about the human toll paid to corona virus (100X)
— We’re sure we won’t be anteater eaters.
— A classic Ferrie rant from JFK, then we off and running with, “Before they make me run” and reach our final final resting place with The Ballad of Billy the Kid.

On the “Don’t need another cup of Joe” CDST Show (Part 1):

On the “Don’t need another cup of Joe” CDST Show (Part 1):

— Who’ll stop the rain, or the high tide, at ChabDog Sports’ Newport Beach studios?
— It’s time for Spring, XFL.. the New York Guardians and the Tampa Bay Vipers; watch out for those Vipers (they were real tough in the Sopranos.. “We’re with the Vipers”) … and can’t wait to watch Josh “Tender” McGloin
— Turning on a night light for Coach Knight at Bloomington (the reconciliation was good to see) …. scoping out a cabinet position (Health and Human Services?)
— Tank celebrates the demise of the Iowa Dummocrat Caucus
— Was that woman who had buyer’s remorse after donning those “Pete” stickers a plant after all (this story sounds beyond belief)
— The untold story behind Butti’s beautiful showing (he won all those coin tosses at Bernie’s expense)
— What Warren really needs … some new shoes
— Reliving when Nancy did the Full Monty with Trumpster’s script
–ChabDog sticks up for Pelosi’s impeccable persona
— Why the 2020 election may be another Subway Series.
— But it doesn’t it in fact seem possible to pull yourself up by your own bootstraps (how about those Bloomberg terminals)
— Some political nicknames should be reserved for the trolls on the internet
— We open up the phone lines to college b-ball … yes it’s time
— Perhaps a last ditch push by previously compacted UCLA
— A quick run through the Big 10, and then it’s on to Bob’s 10 best soundbites (“You don’t have to bleep one single #@$#$ing word of this”/”I try to help you guys in this profession you’ve chosen … it’s one to two steps above prostitution”/”This is really good … see the blood drip out of it”/”When my time on earth is gone and my activities here are passed, I want they bury me upside down and my critics can kiss my ass”/”My entire adult life I have no conception of this term ‘game face'”)
— Wondering what it might be like to roll with “The Joel” (as in Joel Olsteen)
— Breaking down why the NHL is becoming an increasingly difficult sell (they aren’t being given good shelf space on ESPN)
— Nice jamming done by team GOP of those opposition party phone lines
— Going back to Silent Cal, who saw fit to sit on the sidelines and not participate in 1928, as we TR in 1908; reflecting on Cleveland’s dual wins, broken up by a loss to the immortal Benjamin Harrison
— ChabDog stands corrected … the man who ran against him in 1884 was one James G. Blaine (not Greeley)
— Where The Irishman fell flat (despite the Sohio sign)
— Trump’s noble crusade against nepotism … firing the Vindman Twins
— Up close and personal with Sneaky Little Mitch and Lindsay Vallerie Beaurreguard Matlock Graham
— And Trumpster walking into to testify using a Weinstein walker (priceless)
— Remembering the timeless Kirk Douglas (some choice clips and interviews), along with a little Rich Little (See Dick run.
See Jane run. See Dick and Jan and Spot and Puff run. See Dick catch up to Puff. See Dick grab Puff. See Dick smash Puff in the face)

 

NBA Update, Recap and Perspectives, Saturday, 2-8-20:

https://www.facebook.com/ChabDog/

NBA Update:

  • GSW TAKES ITS FIRST SWIG OF THE WIG, AND DEFINITELY DIGS WHAT WENT DOWN… Warriors give the Lakers a run for their money for three quarters … but in the end get stiffed by five. #Lakers #Warriors
  • Another example of why from night to night, you just don’t know what to expect in the NBA; high flying Clips get stripped of their manhood at the Target. Definitely a case of low T for Doc’s dudes against the T-wolves. #Clippers #Timberwolves
  • How did this happen? Leonard leaves the Raptors, and they end up even better than they were last year. That’s undoubtedly overstating the case, but VanVleet is tearing it up, and Pascal has definitely surpassed himself from last year. With Lowry and Serge Protector, among others, it by no means clear that the Bucks will be able to clear their hurdle en route to the Finals. #Nets #Raptors
  • Pistons get drubbed with Drummond. Meanwhile, Julius seems to have brought a winning attitude to the Knicks. #Knicks #Pistons
Categories: NBA

NBA Update, Recap and Perspectives, Friday, 2-7-20:

https://www.facebook.com/ChabDog/

NBA Update:

  • Beautiful ending for the team with possibly the weirdest jerseys in sports. As for the Blazers, if only they got just a little out of the their forwards. Do they really have nobody better to throw out there than Melo (5 points in 39 minutes). #Trailblazers #Jazz
  • Beal was the real deal, carrying the Wizards literally on his back and past the tough Mavs. #Mavericks #Wizards
  • Visiting Houston spots the Suns 46 in the first, and never gets up off the welcome mat after that. #Rockets #Suns
  • No reason for shock and awe when the Hawks visit the Gaahden. #Hawks #Celtics
  • Pacers travel home and completely unable to return the prior game’s favor to the ungrateful Raptors. Siakam was slashing and burning Indy with a variety of beautiful moves and Van Vleet was nothing short of sweet. #Raptors #Pacers
Categories: NBA

NBA Update, Recap and Perspectives, Thursday, 2-6-20:

https://www.facebook.com/ChabDog/

“I just went 6 for 26 and got schooled by Giannis? Say what?”

NBA Update:

 

  • Undeniably filthy effort by Philly falls way short in Milwaukee, with Embiid looking confused, tired and helpless against Giannis. Bucks look very strong right now, but Toronto and Boston loom….#Sixers #Bucks
  • Blazers take a very pleasant walk on the Whiteside; Hassan’s powerful presence on the board and in the paint may well propel last year’s conference finalists into playoff contention. #Spurs #TrailBlazers
  • Small ball works to perfection in Houston, as the Rockets had their bases covered tonight when Covington came up huge. Lakers need to wake up and understand living large is not necessarily the way to play in today’s NBA. #Lakers #Rockets
Categories: NBA

NCAAM Update, Recap and Perspectives, Wednesday, 2-5-19:

https://www.facebook.com/ChabDog/

NCAAM Update:

  • Purdue’s got a very pedestrian 6-6 record in the conference, but nobody going in to West Lafayette should have a ton of confidence; Boilers throw lye in the eyes of the Hawkeyes. #Boilermakers #Hawkeyes
  • This year the big dog in the Big East is none other than Seton Hall….Halleluyah! #Pirates #Hoyas
  • Demons bolt strong out of the gate, but over time L-ville’s superior athleticism was just too much for Wake to take. #DemonDeacons #Cardinals

NBA Update, Recap and Perspectives, Wednesday, 2-5-20:

https://www.facebook.com/ChabDog/

NBA Update:

  • Don’t look now, but the Leonard-less Raptors are No. 2 in the East, and may well be defending their title in June … against Kawhii the Clipper. Kyle Lowery just played the game of his life. #Pacers #Raptors
  • Paul George continue to heat up, and Landry Shamet shimmies for his share as well; heat get aired out at Staples. #Heat #Clippers
  • Monstrously great game by basketball’s version of the Joker lifts Denver to new heights in Salt Lake City. The game winner ala Dirk Nowitski was extra special. This is a team with a ton of heart. #Nuggets #Jazz
  • It’s a bit of a technicality, but why isn’t menacing Dennis starting; at nearly 20 pts per, he’s performing like an all-star, and seems on track for 6th man of the year. Lots of poise, and the noise of applause, present this year in OKC. #Cavaliers #Thunder
Categories: NBA

On the “Who Will Come Out On Tops” CDST Show (Part 2):

On the “Who Will Come Out On Tops” CDST Show (Part 2):
— A monologue from Woody that you won’t soon forget (I turned 40 … I’m balding slightly on top … the balding viral type … (like John Roberts and Trump’s lawyer “Baloney Cipollone”) … the universe is expanding … shades of Greta worried about global warming … the universe will be expanding for billions of years Alvy)
— “Let’s turn out the lights and play hide the salam” …”If I have grass or alcohol, I get unbearably wonderful” … Woody breaks out the red light bulb for some Old New Orleans essence …If I get a laugh from a person who is high, it doesn’t count because they’re always laughing
— What is so fascinating about a bunch of pituitary cases trying to stuff a basketball through a hoop?
— Why is that anti-Weinerstein movement called “Me Too” … do more people want to be victims of horrible Harvey or abhorrent Anthony?
— Need to pick your Secretary of Education? Find me a 10 yr old.
— Memories of Howeird Dean … “We’re on to New Hampshire”
— Post-partum Super Bowl Blues (what on earth is a couch potato to do?)
— Well-read worries that women refs will be calling up penalties from two years ago (no comment)
— ChabDog wonders why can’t we just openly embrace those particular problems endemic to both sexes/what’s the hang up with men going for those little enhancers … let’s hear it for supplements, like the ones being pushed by the Big Hurt … “And she’ll like it too”
— Meanwhile in the world of sports… unrepentant, tight-lipped Houston refuses to admit it did anything wrong… Could the Astros possibly be bigger asses if they tried?
— Mookie to the Dodgers for a starting pitcher and a fortune cookie (Buehler? Buehler?) … and throw in Chris Taylor for good tape measure
— Sorry that Phil Rizzo died at age 90 … but we’re relieved Rizzuto is still alive and kicking
— The Grandyman can … a B+ player who new how to reach those grandstands (not HOF numbers, but perhaps good enough for Mets or Tigers honors)
— Brady needs a National Lampoon Vegas Vacation
— Why can’t cursing Djokovic be as composed on the court as Dvorak?
— Analyzing the current class of NFL inductees … we can think of a number of guys who should have edged our Edgerin
— Find out everything you wanted to know about Duke Slater
— A certain Hall of Fame name “Emerson Boozer” … way better than Mack Speedy or Ed Sprinkle
— Subpoenas from the McClellan Committee… no problemo for Nicholson’s Hoffa as he confronts Bobby Kennedy at the DOJ offices (“I don’t know what you’re trying to prove, but you’re proving it” “You don’t impress me and your office don’t impress me … bunch of rum runners”… “@#$@#$@# your brother”)
— John Candy as a crooked lawyer in JFK (“truth is I never met the dude … all I know is sometimes he sends me some cases”)
— And it’s Maahk Caruso to the rescue
— More on why Ben R. doesn’t get the benefit of the doubt from Patriot patrons
— Doesn’t Andy Reid of the Chefs remind you of the chef on the Burger Chef logo? But who’s Jeff?
— Someone prematurely stakes a claim for the Niners
— A prop bet that there won’t be any Corona Beer commercials during the game (Tony Romo is crestfallen)
— Someone was drinking the major Haterade today
— Our cantakerous cabbie declares open war on uber drivers … especially ones from Morocco
— A demographic survey of douche bags in East Boston
— A warning … don’t do coke with either David Lee Roth or Karl Malden
— By majority decree, we determine Cora’s misdeeds were strictly limited to Houston
— We finish with some very pleasing topical ointment from Mick and the boys

 

 

 

On the “Who Will Come Out On Tops” CDST Show (Part 1):

On the “Who Will Come Out On Tops” CDST Show (Part 1):
— When it comes to winning hockey games, the Devils are definitely missing the details (particularly when it comes to holding leads in the 3rd period)
— And as for the cold Wings, that’s a similarly sad story; we’re a long way removed from the fat and happy years of the late 1990s/2000s
— the latest news about young gun Jack Hughes (you’re not in 17 & unders anymore)
— all about the belly flops of PK Subban
— We are at a complete loss to explain the new format for the utterly useless NBA All-star game, but in any event the changes won’t make it more watchable
— Hey Tom Brady bought a house in Tennessee … will he be traded for Tannehill?
— Various off the prop bets for the big game (we forgot one … will J. Lo reach a new low in the halftime extravaganza)
— Tank hits the road with his compass set on a laundromat
— Well-read tells us why not to go with Garoppolo
— Matriculating back in time to the last KC Super Bowl triumph … Stram hamstrings the Vikes with the immortal “65 toss power trap” (Len Dawson provides the commentary)
— Why most of us don’t go for Frisco (Keller is the lone hold out)
— Facebook groups are getting some serious play during halftime, and Brian’s the primary beneficiary
— Eric explains what Mr. Peanut and his no-so-imminent demise has to do with Kobe
— ChabDog tries in vain to interest our panel in the Aussie Open
— Why tennis isn’t always for wives and girlfriends
— Raquetball = enjoyable, poor man’s squash
— a tutorial on how cultivate the George Carlin look (that’s a whale of a pony tail)
— Who the heck is Bootle-judge and what is his decisionmaking authority
— Scott (Anthony?) Weiner … where is he now?
— Another public health emergency — Super Bowl Hangover
— The ecstasy and joy of a leap year
— David Ferrie emits plenty of ferriemones (solid gold from Oliver Stone) (“it’s a mystery, wrapped in a riddle, inside an enigma”)

NFL Update, Recap and Perspectives, Sunday, 2-2-20:

NFL Update:

  • Chiefs chase away 50 years of demons and are now champions of the world, after utilizing their Mahomes-field advantage for all it’s worth in a momentous 4th quarter comeback.  With their amazing, courageous QB, all-pro tight end, speedy receivers and accomplished coach, KC may have well be enjoying multiple titles over the next decade.  And give their defense credit for stepping up when they had to.  As for the Niners, they’ll be mulling over a curiously conservative approach in crunch time, which sealed their doom in the moments of truth.  Midway through the last quarter, all they needed was a few first downs, but they didn’t have the killer instinct and opened the door just a crack.  That was all the AFC Champs need to carry the trophy home. #Chiefs #FortyNiners
Categories: NFL

Law Office of Brandon S. Chabner

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for more information, go to www.chabnerlaw.com and mention promo code “CHABDOG” for a 20% discount on our regular hourly rate.

Winner of Easy Reader’s 2017 Best of Beach/Best Business Attorney

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