Because sports should never run your life ... retorts for sports

NBA Update, Recap and Perspectives: Saturday, May 25 (Playoffs, Eastern Conference Finals) (click for audio)

NBA Update:

  • Raptors snap to attention late in the 3rd, and leave the Bucks in the dust with a 4th quarter rush. Leonard levitates for a massive jam over Big G, and on Milwaukee’s side there just wasn’t much of an offensive game plan … the 3-2 zone that clogged up the middle did the trick as the Bucks’ 2nd and 3rd (and 4th and 5th) options never really proved viable. In their 100th playoff game, TO scores 100 and earns the right to host Game 1 of the NBA Finals. #Bucks #Raptors
Categories: NBA

MLB Update, Recap and Perspectives, Friday, 5-24-19 (click for audio):

MLB Update:
  • Same old story for the Orioles, who can’t contain Story and get wrecked in the 9th. #Orioles #Rockies
  • Another less than notable no-decision for Noah, whose inflated ERA is another reason the Mets are going nowhere. #Tigers #Mets
  • Freese flattens a fastball from Feliz, and the Dodgers do what they usually do to the pscyhed out Ps. #Dodgers #Pirates
  • Another tough loss for Sale, who is largely unhittable but get little support in the field or at the plate. #RedSox #Astros
Categories: MLB

MLB Update, Recap and Perspectives: Thursday, 5-23-19 (click for audio)

MLB Update:

  • Light hitting Rays defy convention and knock Plutko’s meatballs to Pluto. #Rays #Indians
  • Are the Yankees ever going to stop beating Baltimore? #Yankees #Orioles
  • Bell starts a not-so-quiet riot at PNC with more extra base blasts, and unlike Pirate teams of the past, these guys seem to be telling Colorado, “We’re not gonna take it, anymore”. #Rockies #Pirates
  • Red Sox do the right thing and grill up the Blue Jays nice and juicy, using a Weber that’s throwing off maximum heat. #RedSox #BlueJays
  • Buoyed by the Schoopster and Sano, the Twins continue their insane winning by completely bludgeoning the defenseless Angels. I guess Artie forgot about his dismal pitching staff when he joyously opened the salary vault to Trout. #Twins #Angels
Categories: MLB

NBA Update, Recap and Perspectives: Thursday, May 23 (Playoffs, Eastern Conference Finals) (click for audio)

NBA Update (Playoffs, Eastern Conference Finals):

  • Raptors slap down the Bucks with a very debilitating home loss in critical Game 5. VanVleet was oh so sweet with more threes than you can count on one hand, while the man with the most powerful hands in basketball did just about everything on the court with maximum efficiency and impact. Unlike Leonard, Giannis was simply not up to the task tonight, looking panicked and often awkward, particularly when he was in the paint. You can marvel all you want about his size, reach, talent and all-NBA accolades, but the fact remains that he needs lots of polish and must put in the hard work to develop some post moves. And this deep into the playoffs (and this series), it’s too late even for young stars to learn new tricks. #Raptors #Bucks
Categories: NBA

MLB Update, Recap and Perspectives: Wednesday, 5-22-19 (click for audio)

MLB Update:

  • Like clockwork, Rafael hits another into Devers Devers land, and spark plug Chavis has lift off in the 13th to put the game on ice for Boston. #RedSox #BlueJays
  • Bad loss for the Reds, who had the the Brewers dead to rights before Grandal’s long shot took flight. #Reds #Brewers
  • Rockies continue to hit the stiching off of Pirate pitching. #Rockies #Pirates
  • Dodgers are a flop at the Trop, falling prey to Kevin K’s sparkling feats on cleats. #Dodgers #Rays
  • Mets win another spat with the Nats, but does beating on do nothing Doolittle really prove anything for the Gotham gnats. #Nationals #Mets
  • Finally, some adversarial acrimony is advanced against the absolute power of the Astros. #Astros #WhiteSox
Categories: MLB

NBA Update, Recap and Perspectives: Tuesday, May 21 (Playoffs, Eastern Conference Finals) (click for audio)

NBA Update (Playoffs, Eastern Conference Finals):

  • Raptors claw their way back into the thick of things … behind the Claw! #Raptors #Bucks
  • Giannis and the lately sucky Bucks take a giant step backwards, and in the process give plenty of precious Big Mo back to the desperate Raptors. What went wrong? Antlered Ante put up some good numbers and Middleton did what he could, but the rest of the supporting cast were duds, including 2-7 Bledsoe, a toxic dose of 3-pt shooting by Mirotic (2-8), and a puny showing from big boy Brooke (2 boards, 1 block, and 8 points). They were definitely not defending the interior on defense, and on offense, their spacing and ball movement stunk. Although Milwaukee may possibly have enough to get out of this series, they’ll be dead in the water against the world champs with this game plan. #Bucks #Raptors
Categories: NBA

MLB Update, Recap and Perspectives: Tuesday, 5-21-19 (click for audio)

MLB Update:

  • Eduardo must’ve let his guard down, not to mention telegraphing his deliveries, because Tellez seemed to know what was coming down the pike in turning this lefty on lefty match up to his distinct advantage. This was the most damage caused by a Rowdy since the days of Roddy the wrestler. #RedSox #BlueJays
  • Herky jerky Kershy throws the Rays off kilter, and the Dodgers lay some serious wood on Wood, wreak havoc on Beeks, leave Roe with nowhere to go and KO Kolarek. #Dodgers #Rays
  • Yankees trash the Orioles at Camden Yards, as hitters Sanchez and Frazier litter the field with tater peels. #Yankees #Orioles
  • Pirates take the night off, as Rockies mark the strike zone with their magic Marquez and put the Bucs to bed with a less than soothing bedtime Story. #Rockies #Pirates
  • Quintana quiets the Phils on 2 hits over 6, and 2 in the ninth puts Chicago over the top in their Wrigley Cubbie-hole. #Phillies #Cubs
  • 5 in a row for the red hot A’s, who think they can do anything with Canha cooperating. #Athletics #Indians
  • Looks like closer Jackson’s sinker didn’t have enough action tonight; geriatric Giants come to life in the bottom of the ninth. #Giants #Braves
Categories: MLB

NHL Update, Recap and Perspectives: Tuesday, 5-20-19 (Playoffs, Eastern Conference Finals)(click for audio)

NHL Update (Playoffs, Western Conference Finals):

  • Blues finally disabuse themselves of the scraggly Sharks, and after nearly 50 years, once again have a parking spot in the Stanley Cup Finals.
    Get ready for more Bobby Orr, as No. 4 will most certainly be on hand for moral support in what should be memorable series.
    Can Boston go 3 for 3 in pro sports titles and make it three in a row against the Gateway City guys? #Sharks #Blues
Categories: NHL

MLB Update, Recap and Perspectives: Sunday, 5-19-19 (click for audio)

MLB Update:

  • Things are really coming together for Boston, as they batter the skittish Red Sox, who make the mistake of straying into Fenway … wrong bat place, wrong bat time. #RedSox #BlueJays
  • In years gone by, the Nats would’ve probably taken this opportunity to rub the downtrodden Mets’ noses in it, but this year, all bets are clearly off. #Nationals #Mets
  • If you were trying to keep a scorecard for this thriller, you might as well’ve taken out the whiteout when it came to accounting for the weak White Sox. #WhiteSox #Astros
  • As they often do against the Yankees, Baltimore makes it more than a little interesting before reverting to its state of normal futility. #Yankees #Orioles
  • Psycho Oakland continues to ravage the AL Central, turning loose the home run power but losing left Anderson in the process. #Athletics #Indians
Categories: MLB

NBA Update, Recap and Perspectives: Monday, May 20 (Playoffs, Western Conference Finals) (click for audio)

NBA Update: (Playoffs, Western Conference Finals)

  • Curry has his usual inflated point total, but it was the world’s most obnoxious energizer bunny, Draymond Green, who ripped the heart out of Rip City by doing consistent damage on the inside, playing ferocious defense and making sure the Blazers felt weighed down in the 4th quarter by relentless pressure. It’s now over for Portland … another brutal encounter with the brick wall that protects Golden State’s possession of the Larry O’Brien trophy. #TrailBlazers #Warriors
Categories: NBA

NBA Update, Recap and Perspectives: Sunday, May 2019 (Playoffs, Eastern Conference Finals) (click for audio)

NBA Update (Playoffs, Eastern Conference Finals):

  • Toronto clogs the lanes and generally impedes the Greek Freak’s habitual pilgrimage to the bucket, and has just enough success on the offensive end to keep themselves in the series … for now. Milwaukee’s still in the driver’s seat, but they could’ve sealed the deal tonight with just a little more poise and execution. And the Warriors are no doubt going to school from this game (as well as Game 1) in coming up with a plan to stop the Bucks’ heavy artillery. #Bucks #Raptors
Categories: NBA

MLB Update, Recap and Perspectives: Sunday, 5-19-19 (click for audio)

MLB Update:

  • A big thank you to ChabMom for another super shot from paradise
  • Boston salvages a precious win in the series finale, working overtime at the plate, and on the mound, with Walden and Workman (after Sale becomes the Wild Thing). It wasn’t always pretty, but it was exactly what the Red Sox needed, and now that Astros monkey is off their back. #Astros #RedSox
  • Lowly KC’s become a royal pain in the butt for the drooping Angels, who simply don’t have enough pitching. #Royals #Angels
  • Fans in Cleveland had a rockin good time this afternoon, watching Bieber close out the Orios. #Orioles #Indians
  • In apparent deference to manager Mickey’s clubhouse gospel that it’s best to be nice at all costs, the gracious Mets continue their hunger strike at the plate … and victory starved Miami is only too willing to indulge them. #Mets #Marlins
  • Pirates stomp on Padres and take 3 of 4, when Musgrove pitches masterfully in his old stomping grounds, and Moran muscles out a 3-run ding dong. And it should also be noted that if the playoffs began today THE BUCS WOULD OWN WC #2. #Pirates #Padres
  • Seattle slays the Twins, whose charmed stay atop the AL Comedy Central may well be wearing out its welcome. #Mariners #Twins


Categories: MLB

NHL Update, Recap and Perspectives: Sunday, 5-19-19 (Playoffs, Western Conference Finals) (click for audio)

NHL Update (Playoffs, Western Conference Finals) (click for audio):

  • The Blues’ physical play is taking its toll on Joey and the rest of the long-in-the-tooth Sharks, who’ve now not only lost their home ice, but also more than a few teeth in the process.
    Yes, San Jose was able to regain its traction against Colorado in the 2nd round, but this St. Louis squad has shown it can close the deal once it gets an opening (ask Dallas); in the words of Woody Allen, what
    we have on our hands may well be nothing more than some dead Sharks. #Sharks #Blues
Categories: NHL

NBA Update, Recap and Perspectives, Saturday, May 18, 2019 (Playoffs, Western Conference Finals) (click for audio):

NBA Update (Playoffs, Western Conference Finals):

  • Lillard lays perhaps the biggest egg (a rotten one) of his pro career, wallowing in a funk of forced threes and careless turnovers, while Green turns in a nothing short of a monster all-court performance. GSW takes Game 3 going away, and might as well buy those tickets for Beer Town USA. As usual Kerr is coaching circles around his competition; somebody please help Stotts out by giving him at least one clue about what to do… one bright idea might be running the offense through CJ for a while. #Warriors #TrailBlazers
Categories: NBA

MLB Update, Recap and Perspectives: Saturday, 5-18-19 (click for audio)

MLB Update:

  • Houston’s looking downright scary, with the addition of Brantley and his beefy batting avg. Meanwhile, Boston continues to backslide. #Astros #RedSox
  • Maybe it’s time to start paying attention, if not homage?, to the Braves, who take care fo the powerful Brewers for the second straight evening. #Braves #Brewers
  • Unexpected Pirate power surge pacifies the Padres at Petco. #PIrates #Padres
  • Pablo and Marlins cruise by the miffed Mets, who aren’t reacting well to the ocean breezes blowing in from South Beach. #Mets #Marlins
  • Oakland continues its insane choke hold over the timid Tigers. #Athletics #Tigers
  • For whatever reason, Los Doyyers seem to have no idea how to pitch to their former employee Yasiel. #Dodgers #Reds
  • Yankees thought they were sitting pretty in first place, but come the 11th inning, it was time they stepped in a Meadows muffin planted by Austin. #Rays #Yankees
Categories: MLB

Law Office of Brandon S. Chabner

A Professional Corporation — providing business and outside general counsel services, including entity formation, contract drafting and negotiation and transaction structuring.

for more information, go to and mention promo code “CHABDOG” for a 20% discount on our regular hourly rate.

Winner of Easy Reader’s 2017 Best of Beach/Best Business Attorney