On the uproarious “Concubine Quarantine” CDST Show (Part 2):
— Don’t judge a book by its cover, unless someone has hit the head with it first (“They’re selling coffee, bran muffins, you’re surrounded by reading material … it’s entrapment”) (“You just lost a lot of business, because I love to read”) (“I’m not eating anything in the vicinity of that book”) (“Wait a second, this book has been in the bathroom…. it’s been flagged… you get this toilet book outta here and I won’t jump over the counter and punch you in the brain”) (“You defiled one book, steal another and ask for your money back, and you call that even?”)
— And we can never, ever, get enough of Kramer’s “Assman” … unless of course you’re a breast man (“Cozmo Kramer, you are the Assman”) (“Yo Assman… look at the Assman … I never dreamed it could make such a difference … Kramer made a pass at me … he stopped short and made a grab… stopped short, that’s my move”) (“How dare you stop short with my wife … to think I almost split the profits on the manziere with you”)
— Frank checks in to reveal what it’s like keeping vampire hours … let’s face it folks, with no sports on idiot’s box of sadness, this guy’s off
— Not amused to announce that the laundromats are open for business, albeit with amusement park lines
— Tank puts his finger on the Blues Bros cheese whiz clip
— What a coincidence that the Accidental President was so accident prone … but hey give him a break,… he had weak knees from playing o-line at The Big House
— Speaking of the House, ChabDog reminds everyone that Ford did in fact make the leap to the Oval Office from people’s chamber, not the Senate
— Trying to give more love to Sarah Jane Moore (not Miller) in the pantheon of would-be assassins … sorry Sarah … Gerry was cut in the cloth of the indestructible Inspector Clouseau
— Sorry Brady … they don’t pay guys to finish up their career in New England … you need to go to LA for that…
— And who’ll step in to fill the gap at Gillette? Dandy Andy? Joe Sacko? Broken down Cam? A wife swap with Jameis? Pay to play with Peyton? Go full monty with the running game and bring back Timmy T-bone. “Well, what the hell we supposed to do, you moron?”
–Moderately mediocre game managers who won Super Bowls … a surprisingly big secret society
— Broadway Joe was overrated? Fleming flings the sexy stats, despite the guy’s great image in hoes
— Hear Joe Brown get down and dirty with Jack Lemmon
— They call it an “Adam’s” apple for a reason
— Thank god Herman Wouk wasn’t “woke”
— Brian reminds us that no Astros have been affected by the Coronavirus … they saw the signs before anyone else.
— How about putting Congressional insider stock trading on lockdown?
— Who’s Dan Rostenkowskowitz? Chairman of the “Keep the change” Ways and Means Committee. A truly corrupt politician in the grand tradition of the Land of Lincoln, Obama, and.. Daly and Blago
— David Bowie announces a benefit concert for combating Covid 19, where he’ll sing “Little China virus”. If only he’d tell Trump, “Oh baby just you shut your mouth.” The cast from Monty Python will also be there, singing “I like Chinese”
— Laraine Newman’s impression of Regan will really make your head spin (not to mention hers) (“The bed must be on the floor … the bed is on my foot… the bed is on my foot”) (“Your mother eats kitty litter … nobody talks about my momma”)
— And how about our Exorcist clip with lovable Linda, … it’s short and not too sweet
— DeBlasio in wax? That guy wouldn’t even qualify for ear plugs.
— Understanding how Newark sank to its current status as our seminal sanctuary city for murders
— Speaking of killing it, Marc becomes Frank by calling in from his blue, red and silver submarine, and attempts to twist the proverbial knife … but he’s just too far removed to be threatening
— Caruso skirts the question of how he feels now that Brady is a Buc/Pirate, but his misplaced faith in Jared “the stiff” Stidham belies credulity
— Being so grateful to be alive, we issue our final takedown with the Grateful Dead’s “Shakedown Street”