Because sports should never run your life ... retorts for sports

MLB Update, Recap and Perspectives: Thursday, 6-21-18 (click post for audio)

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MLB Update:

  • Janitors from AZ work overtime at PNC and really clean up. #Diamondbacks #Pirates
  • Mad Bum and his previously disgraced G-men reach .500; should we be scared, impressed, or both? #Padres #Giants
  • Suter looked well suited to defrocking the Cardinals. #Cardinals #Brewers
  • Rockies let the good time roll while the Mets continue to be plain miserable. #Mets #Rockies
  • Red Sox revive against the Twins with a sweet sixteen party, which produces 9 big runs. #RedSox #Twins
  • Yankees send Paxton and the rest of the visiting Mariners packing with a homer barrage against Paxton; being down by 4 is certainly severe punishment when facing Severino. #Mariners #Yankees
Categories: MLB

World Cupdate 2018: Day 8

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World Cupdate 2018:

  • Aghast Argentines are feeling very apoplectic after getting socked into Anaphylactic shock by monkey boys Rebic, Modric and his half-brother Rakitic (what about Ruprecht?).
  • The Aussies come back from way down under to grab a point, when Poulsen is caught on video playing deliberate handball, and then Jedinak jacks one under the watch of Kasper, the schlemiel.
  • France just manages to dance itself past a pesky Peru, and hasn’t lost to a South American opponent in the Cup Finals since the days of disco.

 

 

 

MLB Update, Recap and Perspectives: Wednesday, 6-20-18 (click post for audio)

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MLB Update:

  • Boston’s not had the run producing machine working as regularly these days, and that’s probably starting to irritate its high maintenance starting pitchers. #RedSox #Twins
  • Light hitting Mets are still throwing up after putting up all those precious runs, only see them go to waste on the special deliveries of Gsellman. #Mets #Rockies
  • Ordinary Oakland still have enough going for it to choke the life out of the Padres, without as much as a kerfuffle. #Athletics #Padres
  • Time to send the whole stinking White Sox team down the minors … and I mean AA not AAA. #WhiteSox #Indians
  • It’s all still happening for one J.A. Happ, goes nearly the whole way against the battling Braves. #Braves #BlueJays
  • Skittish kitties from Motown get scuttled by a guy named Scooter. #Tigers #Reds
Categories: MLB

World Cupdate 2018: Day 7

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World Cupdate 2018:

  • We won the opener on a Wednesday and our hearts stood still, da doo Iran Iran Iran da doo Iran Iran…next Tuesday we got Diego’s knee to the groin before taking a spill.. da doo Iran Iran Iran da doo Iran Iran
  • Uruguay’s favorite vampire gets the first goal out of the way bright and early, and then, goes into a harmless snooze, along with the rest of the light blues.
  • In today’s Rock’m Sock’m pairing, Morocco gets knocked square in the chin by Ronoldo’s deadly chip, stays on its feet, and threatens but is never able to reestablish stable footing.

MLB Update, Recap and Perspectives: Tuesday, 6-19-18 (click post for audio)

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MLB Update:

  • Yankees provide great support for their German when a bunch of their big boppers turn on their axis and send balls into the next zip code. #Yankees #Mariners
  • Now its Turner’s (and the rest of the Nats’) turn to tear into the Orios. #Orioles #Nationals
  • Another head scratching loss for that angry young man, Chris Sale, who was largely unhittable, but was against the recipient of nearly non-existent run support, as well as a curious defensive lapse by normally stellar Jackie Bradley. #RedSox #Twins
  • Brewer assault in Pittsburgh, backed up by a very impressive pitching Peralta. #Brewers #Pirates
  • Important win for the Cubs, as they deprive the Dodgers of 1st dibs in the NL West and send a message about who’s pole position is best in the race for the pennant. #Dodgers #Cubs
Categories: MLB

World Cupdate 2018: Day 6

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World Cupdate 2018:

  • Surprise, surprise, surprise, … a proud European team falls to Senegal after two big boners, including an ominous own goal, followed by Niang’s stealth steal coming out of the injury box and goalie Krych’s being caught with his pants down, a situation that surely left Polish fan cry, cry, crying.
  • There you go Comrade! Another 3-goal, homefield horse whipping by the Ruskies, this time against enemies from Egypt. #Russia ##Egypt
  • Sanchez gets the dreaded red card boot after being caught playing illicit handball, and the nation whose flag has the big the red dot makes the most of the extra man opportunity.

MLB Update, Recap and Perspectives: Monday, 6-18-18 (click post for audio)

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MLB Update:

  • Tommy was Phamtastic, but Philly cashes in when it turns to its last out Altherrnative. #Cardinals #Phillies
  • Trevor the terrific puts the Brewers to sleep without as much as a peep. #Pirates #Brewers
  • Mets continue to flex, with their run truly hitting a Rocky Mountain high. #Mets #Rockies
  • Strong start for Bart, as Rangers take apart the evaporating Royals. #Royals #Rangers
Categories: MLB

World Cupdate 2018: Day 4

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World Cupdate 2018:

  • Was Speedy Gonzales out there playing for Mexico? Not exactly, but Germany looked a step slower and is getting a bit long in the tooth. The result is an enormous upset and the tequila is flowing South of the Border.
  • The Brazilian hot shots had plenty of chances, but couldn’t seal the deal against a Swiss army that simply wouldn’t give in. Poor Neymar spent much of the game either sprawled on the grass or crying to the refs for cards to be dealt. Yes, the favorites dominated time of possession and got a point, but this performance was nothing to beat your chest about if you’re a rooter from Rio.
  • Serbian swerves a sweet one above the free kick wall and just out of reach of the Costa Rican keeper, and it’s congratulations to Kolarov!

MLB Update, Recap and Perspectives: Sunday, 6-17-18 (click post for audio)

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MLB Update:

  • Boston ends its little losing streak by teeing off on Leake.#RedSox #Mariners
  • Weak bats of Marlins can’t keep pace with big bombs of Trumbo and Jace. #Marlins #Orioles
  • Cincy denies Pirates their sweep with Hamilton starring at the plate and in the field, and Suarez going deep. #Reds #Pirates
  • Maikel makes the big plays and stakes the Phils to a big lead that barely holds up against a Milwaukee team that seems to be in meltdown mode. #Phillies #Brewers
  • Tailor made save opportunity for closer Wade goes up in smoke with a couple of pokes from Odor and Trevino. #Rockies #Rangers
  • Left for dead, the Mets’ offense climbs out of its casket when Nimmo finds a pitch he likes off of Boxberger. #Mets #Diamondbacks
Categories: MLB

MLB Update, Recap and Perspectives: Saturday, 6-16-18 (click post for audio)

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MLB Update:

  • Now that they’ve got their “Super” Nova back, Pirates reach sea level and can see some light at the end of the tunnel. Can the Reds stay in town past Father’s Day? #Reds #Pirates
  • Bosox blanked by LeBlanc. #Mariners #RedSox
  • Feast or famine Brew Crew get deprived in beer town by the feisty Phils. #Phillies #Brewers
  • After a brief respite, Atlanta continues to feed at the trough against the feeble Fathers. #Padres #Braves
  • Gnats need to start using lighter donuts… apparently they are having trouble hefting the bats. And Max is getting mad about it. He’s not used to losing. #Nationals #BlueJays
  • Astros continue to devour everything in their path, but is anyone noticing this out-of-control forest fire? Kauffmann goes up in flames. #Astros #Royals
  • Yanks mutilate Rays once more, behind Stanton, Sanchez and sensational Severino. #Rays #Yankees
Categories: MLB

US Open 2018 Update: Round 3 (click post for audio)

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US Open 2018 Update:

  • Shock and awful play at Shinnecock, as DJ’s shots go astray, but he somehow ends up at the top in a 4-way. If you like sitting on your duff and watching duffers, this is the tournament you dreamed off.
  • Meanwhile, Mickelson makes a mockery of the rule book, all for the sake of staving off disqualification. You sound like you’re full of it, Phil…. you and that very skanky sextuple bogey you carded.

World Cupdate 2018: Day 3

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World Cupdate 2018:

  • There’s a bit of a sour taste left in the Croats’ throats, as they have to rely on an own goal and a gift penalty kick to sneak by Nigeria.
  • La France manufactures a very questionable win with the help of VAR, and a precision-guided goal post deflection by P. Pogba.
  • Messi messes up, while Iceland stays cool.
  • Danes are on the mark just once and that enough to pull them through against frustrated Peru.

MLB Update, Recap and Perspectives: Friday, 6-15-18 (click post for audio)

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MLB Update:

  • Well lookie here… has The Pad Squad finally uncovered some offense? #Padres #Braves
  • Wacha was watching balls go over his outfielders’ heads all night as Cubs rip into the Cardinals with supreme relish. #Cubs #Cardinals
  • Brewers erupt for some serious payback against Arrieta, and are likely still not satiated. #Phillies #Brewers
  • Unfortunately for the Nationals, Yangervis really got the hang of things from both sides of the plate. #Nationals #BlueJays
  • Pirates reduce their magic number for getting back to .500 to one, with a hard earned win over the pesky Reds. Hey, it wasn’t pretty, but they’ll take it. #Pirates #Reds
  • Mets rollover against D-backs and lay dead.  Good boys. #Mets #Diamondbacks
  • Sox in shock after they go down hard in Seattle due to Denard. #RedSox #Mariners
Categories: MLB

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