Because sports should never run your life ... retorts for sports

ChabDog’s MLB Update, Recap and Perspectives — The Day After Opening Day 2021:

  • Where there’s a willing Wendle, there will be a way; Tampa Bay looks to hold up its end in the latest iteration of a City of Champions. #Rays #Marlins
  • Now I call this one quick starting Mercedes….#WhiteSox #Angels
  • Johnny B good, and so B Evan… by a long shot. #Giants #Mariners
  • Astros continue to stroke fun at the A’s pitching, which has been given a couple of F’s in the last two pop quizzes. #Athletics #Astros
  • Dead Sox manage two paltry hits and fall in home opener to the Orios. #Orioles #RedSox
  • Folks in CO were treated to a couple hours of power from Bauer, plus plenty from the Dodger demolition crew. Impressive. #Dodgers #Rockies

Categories: MLB

ChabDog’s MLB Update, Recap and Perspectives — Opening Day 2021 (April Fools Style):

  • Happy Days are here again as real fans replace the cardboard ones.
  • Hope springs eternal on Opening Day, as Frazier goes down only 2 of 4 times and the Pirates are really digging the life of Ke’Bryan. And how about that Kuhl/bullpen by committee action. Always so satisfying to beat those Cubs in front of the Wrigley shrubs. Nice. #Pirates #Cubs
  • Gold medal day for Goldy, and Nolan serves notice that he remains focused. As for the Reds pitching, it got torn to absolute shreds. #Cardinals #Reds
  • Bang the trash can slowly, Oakland Athletic supporters really fell to their knees, begging for the punishment to just stop. #Athletics #Astros
  • It’s official… in 2021, the Opening Day Royals outscored the stinky Super Sunday Chiefs…with ease…#Royals #Rangers
  • Fighting Fathers pick up where they left off last season when Profar’s sacrificial clout went just far enough out. #Diamondbacks #Padres
  • Brewers win with a pathetic “chopper”. Walk-off chopper seems like a really moronic oxymoron. #Brewers #Twins
  • Baltimore and Boston postponed due to lack of talent. #Orioles #RedSox
Categories: MLB

ChabDog’s NCAAM Tourney Summary (Elite Eight, Pt. 2) (and click for a special wish):

I say, I say, I say, boy, this year’s team of destiny ain’t Gonzaga, … its UCLA!

ChabDog’s NCAAM Tourney Summary (Elite Eight, Pt. 2):

  • In perfectly perfunctory fashion, the Bulldogs put an end to the Troj-enz with a blowout first half, and then simply go through the motions. Live it up Gonzaga, while you can…. your shorts are about to get John Stockton tight. #Bulldogs #Trojans
  • Bruins get killed on the board and get outshot from everywhere… but win the war of turnovers… and win…. PS… Dwight Shedd… I say I told you so!

ChabDog’s NCAAM Tourney Summary (Sweet 16 Pt. 2):

ChabDog’s NCAAM Tourney Summary (Sweet 16 Pt. 2):

  • UCLA was lucky that True Romance’s Alabama wasn’t playing with that other Alabama from earlier today. This chick looked like she was spoiling more for a fight and had the firepower to back it up when it came to the moments of truth.
  • Bruins drain the Tide with some strong medicine in overtime, and if you consider all the missed foul shots (11-25 or something like that/are you kidding?)” Alabama has absolutely nothing to complain about. They had plenty of free, unpressured chances from the line, and simply blew it. Give UCLA all the credit in the world for simply taking care of business and doing what had to be done … if if they gave their opponents a gift by not properly pressure the in-bounds play near the end of regulation. This is indeed looking like a team of destiny. #Bruins #CrimsonTide
  • Hunter and Franz take matters into their own hands and dominate the semi-conscious Seminoles in a real inside job. Memo to Florida State — try working a little harder on defense next time to cover their tall guys with your tall guys close to the basket. #Seminoles #Wolverines
  • No end in sight for Enfield’s ensigns, who continue to thrash the rest of the field. Watch out Zags, these guys are for real. #Ducks #Trojans
  • Timme and his cute fu man chu ram plenty of jams down the throats of the timid Creightonians. But time to sober up, Gonzaga, as you face a real challenge in the next round. #BlueJays #Bulldogs

Join us for the: Prime Time Grimes CDST Show (click for our belated Xmas wish)

Call in at 252-585-4120 to be part of the show that you know you shouldn’t pass over on Passover.

Or listen in a

There’ll be more than a little college basketball discussion, along with some great tunes, cartoons,

as ChabDog does his best Bob Grimes imitation by cooling forecasting the rampage of Houston’s Cougars.

Now that’s a nice office for a barrister. Nice office.

ChabDog’s NCAAM Tourney Summary (Sweet 16 Pt. 1):


ChabDog’s NCAAM Tourney Summary (Sweet 16 Pt. 1):

  • Buddy turned in a real duddy, while Grimes was prime time, Jarreau was juking and Gorham was gorgeous, as ChabDognosticaed. #Cougars #Orange
  • The Cuse twilight zone was softer than the underbelly of Europe tonight.
  • Another narrow escape for the Know-it-alls who knew enough to pick Ark. #GoldenEagles #Razorbacks
  • End of the line for the Sister Jean Machine, whose offense was sputtering all night like a sick car that can’t get out of the garage. Take that Rambler in for servicing. #Beavers #Ramblers
  • This was by no means a super Nova… just a super over-achieving Nova, and Baylor’s superior defense and overall athleticism bailed them out with a second half rush. #Bears #Wildcats

ChabDog’s NCAAM Tourney Summary (Day 4, Round of 32):


NCAA Tournament Update (Day 4, Round of 32):
–Oregon apparently wasn’t too impressed with Iowa’s No. 2 seed status; Ducks looked fresh, while the Hawkeyes looked cross-eyed and confused. #Ducks #Hawkeyes
–KU wins the turnover battle, but loses practically everything else to USC … and gets KO’d by something like 35. The NCAA needs to flog itself for making this team a 3 seed … but hey, they are slow learners. Kansas looked like its shoes were nailed to the floor, while the Mobley brothers looked quite … mobile. #Trojans #Jayhawks
–Maryland’s Twerps get obliterated on the boards, and if you were hoping for a competitive game, by mid-way through the 2nd half, you were definitely pretty bored. Alabama continues to defy the naysayers and attempt the fabled double championship dip, recently accomplished only by SEC foe Florida. #CrimsonTide #Terrapins
–Buffaloes are fair game for the stalking Seminoles, who dominate on both sides of the ball and move on to face their not so old nemesis… Michigan. Remember a few years ago, Leonard, when you cried no mas with 1 minute left? Here’s your chance for redemption. #Buffaloes #Seminoles
–Michigan wakes up in the nick of time, after Howard drops his mask, throws a hissy fit, and kicks some extra gumption into the backsides of the talented Wolverines. #Tigers #Wolverines
–Blue Jays hover over Bobcats, unleash some spray, and make their way into the very Sweet Sixteen. #Bobcats #BlueJays
–Bruins from the West Coast coast. leaning on Abilene with their superior size and clamping down with solid defense and few turnovers. Now the real fun starts as they plan for No. 1 Alabama. #CrimsonTide #Bruins
–Credit to Gonzaga for wearing the Sooners down to a knub; Oklahoma fouls its way to a large deficit, despite shooting 50% from the field and giving it the old college try. Bulldogs move inexorably toward the Final Four. #Sooners #Bulldogs

ChabDog’s NCAAM Tourney Summary (Day 3, Round of 32):

ChabDog’s NCAAM Tourney Summary (Day 3, Round of No Few Than 32):
–More organized and efficient Beavers outclass the Cowboys, who shot from the hip and generally resisted running plays. In the end, the scoreboard does not usually reward chaos, even if you have Cade Cunningham. Besides, the best player on the floor was actually guarding him. Go Beavers, go! #Beavers #Cowboys
–LUC wins going away, and it was anything but luck. Krutwig played real big, and the Ramblers shocked the gamblers with their poise, precision and spectacular execution. As for Illinois, they lost in almost every meaningful statistical category, as well as falling short when it came to the critical intangibles. Plus, they just choked. #FightingIllini #Ramblers
–Better coaching and shot selection, along with the on-court excellence of Buddy B. were the difference in SU’s narrow win over the ever-aggressive but sometimes out-of-control West Va. The bottom line is the Orange slowed the pace just enough to enable the Mountaineers to become their own worst enemies. #Orangemen #Mountaineers
–Mean Green shoot before they think and get roundly vilified by Villanova. #Wildcats #MeanGreen
–Later Gators … you were just to laissez-faire, committing more than your fair share of turnovers, which gave the hot shooting Eagles just the lift they needed to soar for the winning scores. #GoldenEagles #Gators
–Razors survive when Raiders forget how to make a couple of lay ups in the waning moments; Ark had better learn how to finish, or they’ll be stuck in park going into the Sweet Sixteen. #Razorbacks #RedRaiders
–Nothing too fancy from Baylor, other than a rock solid defensive effort and allowing its opponent to make an uncharacteristic parade of unforgivable turnovers and flubs. And as Wisconsin found out, you can’t get away with being so careless, when you’re the less talented club. #Badgers #Bears
–Houston barely escapes with its tournament life against a pumped up Rutgers, which appeared to celebrate just a little too soon. The Scarlet Knights had the Cougars on the ropes, but with the situation got most dire, the No. 2 seed’s best play, Q. Grimes stepped up with a prime time performance. Better luck next year, RU. #ScarletKnights #Cougars

ChabDog’s NCAAM Tourney Summary (Day 2, Round of Too Many):



ChabDog’s NCAAM Tourney Summary (Day 1, Round of Too Many):

  • Texas literally throws the game away with 23 turnovers, and Abilene Christian advances on toward the promised land with much religious zeal. #Longhorns #Wildcats
  • UCLA uses its speed advantage, grit and tenacity to bag and tag the Cougars, and by the looks of it, there’s plenty of fight left where that came from for whomever is unfortunate enough to be standing in their way. #Bruins #Cougars
  • Well, this was indeed one way for Oregon to duck an opponent. Ducks win in a waddle-over. #Ducks #Rams
  • At first blush, Gonzaga’s dream regular season is being followed by a dreamy good start to the post-season. It takes them no time at all to deflate Norfolk State. #Bulldogs #Spartans
  • Sooner or later one of these floundering teams had to win one, and of course, that was the Sooners. #Tigers #Sooners
  • Reality finally catches up with little heavyweight UVa, after they shoot their way out of a title defense against decidedly unimpressed Ohio. #Cavaliers #Bobcats
  • Terps come out of the shell snapping and trapping, while Huskies were hoisting up more than their fair share of duds. This sets up a rather intriguing 2nd round confrontation with SEC champs, Alabama. #Huskies #Terrapins
  • Smoke and mirrors only worked for 1 half for upstart Iona; Crimson Tide athleticism on full display as Bama wastes no time after half time in squelching the Gaels. #CrimsonTide #Gaels
  • No way the Bulldogs were gonna knock favored Trojans off their high horse. USC came to play, and now gets ready for Kansas. #Trojans #Bulldogs
  • Grand Canyon’s grandiose dreams go up in spoke against the sharp shooting Hawkeyes…. and who knew great big Garza was one of the guys they’d forget to cover. #Hawkeyes #Antelopes
  • Back to the beach for the Gauchos, who must be grouchy after getting bypassed by 1 by the sneaky Bluejays. #Bluejays #Gauchos
  • Mighty Michigan blows out Texas Southern with a dynamite first half, and then boasts and coasts in a veritable snoozer. #Wolverines #Tigers
  • Tigers turn fierce and sanction the St. Bonnie’s; Michigan beware!
  • KU gets taken by surprise by Eastern Washington and its mountain man named Groves, but took the kid gloves off in the second half and fights its way back behind big man McCormack. Nice gut check win for the Jayhawks. #Jayhawks #Eagles
  • FSU moves on, despite sputtering on offense against the underdog Spartans. Seminoles would be well-advised to find their offense, or they won’t have enough in next round’s tussle against the Buffs. #Spartans #Seminoles
  • Another nice win for the PAC-12 as the Buffaloes leave Georgetown in a cloud of dust. Whoever takes out this crew will have to come to the arena locked and loaded, and that was bad news for Hoyas arriving with empty nap sacks. #Hoyas #Buffaloes

ChabDog’s NCAAM Tourney Summary (Day 1, Round of Too Many):

ChabDog’s NCAAM Tourney Summary (Day 1, Round of Too Many):
–Rumors of Villanova’s imminent demise were greatly exaggerated; after the game, Winthorpe, no Winthrop, wished it could trade places with the winners. #Eagles #Wildcats
–No way these rather ordinary Golden Eagles were going to soar over Huggy’s landlocked, but covering-all-the-angles, Mountaineers. When the pace is so free and easy, the Morgantowners are apt to own their competition. #Mountaineers #GoldenEagles
–Syracuse works its Buddy system to perfection on offense, and on defense, the fabled Boeheim zone lulled San Diego into a twilight zone of long range lemons. A completely thoughtless, dud of a performance by the frazzled Aztecs. #Aztecs #Orange
–What’s the matter, commentator Andy? Katz got your tongue? These cats from Houston are definitely for real, and their coach is one of the best. Cougars rip a giant hole through the Viking ship using some deadly bucket shots. #Cougars #Vikings
–Rutgers proves a resilient and tough nut to crack, and after 38 not-so-wonderful years of failure, in the second round, they’re back! #ScarletKnights #Tigers
–Too bad for them that the Boilermakers could be better basket makers. #Boilermakers #MeanGreen
–The relatively star-less Tar Heels get bullied bad by the Badgers, and Coach Roy gets to limp back on Tobacco Road with his first first game loss. #Badgers #tarheels
–Gators survive to the Second Round after doing some extended hokey pokey with the Hokies. #Hokies #Gators
–It takes a while, but with Cade in cadence, the Cowboys finally figure out how to douse the Flames. #Cowboys #Flames
–Leave it to the Beavers, who were guilty of voluntary manslaughter after chewing through the soft Volunteers. #Beavers #Volunteers
–This year’s Loyolans of Chicago stay loyal to the school’s traditional values, which means the Ramblers had no trouble derailing the Rambling Wreckers of Ga Tech. #Ramblers #YellowJackets
–Bears had the Midas touch, as they heartlessly take advantage of a golden opportunity to quash cupcake Hartford in Round 1. #Bears #Hawks
–No laughing gas anywhere to be found, as the bewildered Buckeyes undergo a painful, and unexpected, oral surgery. #GoldenEagles #Buckeyes
–Raiders generally harass the dear Aggies, who clearly fell out of favor by game’s end. Lest we forget, Lubbock’s lads are getting mighty accustomed to cutting deep swaths into the draw. #RedRaiders #Aggies
–Razorbacks were by no means sharp… until the 2nd half got a little long in the tooth, but they still have enough going for them to give the old brush off to pesky Colgate. #Razorbacks #Raiders
–Cocky Cockburn stuffs the rock and there was no chance the Dragons were hanging with biggest dog from the Big 10. #FightingIllini #Dragons

ChabDog’s NBA Update, Recap and Perspectives — February 14 (click for our way cool Super Bowl promo):

ChabDog’s NBA Update:

  • Lillard’s leadership is the difference in Dallas, as Blazers refuse to fail on the trail. #Trailblazers #Mavericks
  • The most improved team in the West is definitely the Phoenix Suns, whose young stars are having lots of fun and doing just fine at 17-9. #Suns #Magic
  • Bucks hit another damaging pot hole at OKC, despite a gaudy game by the G-man. Tonight, they got next to nothing from big man Brooke Lopez, who got completely outplayed by smaller (and older) Al Horford. Milwaukee still seems clueless when it comes to finding the proper supporting cast for their meal ticket. #Bucks #Thunder
  • The way they’re playing … including today’s lay down against the Wizards… the C’s better pray for a blizzard cancellation of the next few games… at least until Marcus Smart can return. They’re getting next to nothing from their bench, which puts all the burden on their big three. #Celtics #Wizards
  • Lakers play like they needed a whiff of oxygen, and didn’t seem to give their best college try against the always plugging away Nuggets. #Lakers #Nuggets
Categories: NBA

ChabDog’s Aussie Open Update: Men’s Singles, Third and Fourth Round

ChabDog’s Aussie Open Update:

  • The double lettered wonder Berrettini continues to barrel his way through the draw.
  • Italian Fog-man rolls in and over L’il Alex.
  • Nadal nukes Norrie, while Novak’s oblique obliged enough to let him maul Milos.
  • The Asian contingent continues to be thrilled that their favorite qualifier has found the Quarters.
  • Doleful Dominic loses in straight sets that weren’t that close.  Quite possibly, the worst body language in post Pandemic human history.

ChabDog’s Aussie Open Update: Men’s Singles, Third Round

ChabDog’s Aussie Open Update: Men’s Singles, Third Round:

  • This year Casper does have a ghost of a chance.  Just ask his latest victim, Radu.
  • Feliciano’s return is rudely rubbed out by Russian Rublev.
  • Krajinovic just didn’t crack enough winners to defeat Danil.
  • Djoker found Fritz quite frisky before taking him down in five.
  • Dominic didn’t dominate, but he was a bit too slick to be caught by Nick.
  • Dennis falls to a man using the alias of Aliassime.
  • Raonic’s rank of 14 belies his status as a heavyweight contender.

ChabDog’s NBA Update, Recap and Perspectives — February 12 (click for our way cool Super Bowl promo):

ChabDog’s NBA Update:

  • Gobert bears partial responsibility for this rather convincing beat down of the lately choked up Bucks, who are looking quite tentative on the road (7-8); another, more unexpected, perpetrator of this comeuppance included low profile Joe Ingals, whose scoring spree has rarely been wilder. #Bucks #Jazz
  • The DeRozan one seems to have been chosen as the worthy successor to the one with the Claw, and tonight the Hawks were in awe. #Spurs #Hawks
  • Don’t feel sorry for Charlotte. Terry would tell you her future’s never looked Rozier, and that LaMelo’s a real Baller. #Hornets #Timberworlds
  • Celtics turn in a piss poor performance from behind the arc against the previously piss poor Pistons and get saddled with a bad loss upon Saddiq’s sadistic three. #Celtics #Pistons
Categories: NBA

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