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What we learned today in the NFL —
— Dallas does have some pride after all
— Tampa Bay is jinxed
— New England is both pesky and pitiful at the same time
— Cincy is on a mission… possibly to nowhere
— Cleveland is DOA with DTR
— Miami still looks like one of the best of those who get a rest after Week 18.
— The Rams have a great coach, a great QB, some great receivers, a money RB and a scrappy defense …. which might be all they need to win the NFC
— The Eagles can’t get a Super Bowl ticket with Pickett
— Detroit should not consider Chicago a tune up for anything,… including the Vikings
— Atlanta seems to be rising like a Phoenix, with Penix
Hey everyone and welcome to NFL Week 16 where I try to beat the spread every week, make a little money, or brag to our work besties that we simply pick winners cause our state doesn’t allow sports betting yet (fuck you California). So take a look below…let me know in the comments section if I fucked this up or on any of my social media handles (note my Week 15 picks were 87.5% on the money). Let’s fucking gooooooooo.
| | @gawdbrudder
I went 9-7 last week and clawed to within 15 games of .500 at 104-119-1 with three weeks to play. That ground is not impossible to make up, but it is going to take foresight, discipline, and some hefty road favorites covering this week. Just look at that Detroit line at Chicago. It’s over a touchdown even though the Lions were shredded on defense last week and nearly allowed a miracle comeback by Caleb Williams on Thanksgiving. So why are we backing Detroit? Because this season, laying the big number with Detroit has paid off. The Lions are 3-1 against the spread when being favored by seven or more, and I expect them to pound the struggling Bears.
I am also taking the Rams, Eagles, Vikings, and Buccaneers as road favorites. They probably won’t all work out, but maybe they will go 3-1 since all four are surging right now while playing inferior competition. I actually like the Giants pick this week since they were able to move the ball a little against Baltimore and Michael Penix Jr. is making his first start for Atlanta. Maybe a rookie mistake or two will help the Giants intercept the ball for the third time this season.
I might not even watch the NFL on Saturday because of the College Football Playoff and a decent college hoops slate, but I expect Kansas City and Pittsburgh to come through for me. The Chiefs have transformed into favorites with the news that Patrick Mahomes is practicing fully this week, so getting two and a half points makes this one the easiest pick on the board. For the Steelers, they failed me as underdogs in Philadelphia, but I’m rolling with them again since they own Lamar Jackson.
Back to Sunday, I am becoming the Carolina whisperer as I smartly jumped off the bandwagon last week when Sir Purr and company became favorites against Dallas. However, now the Cats are back to being dogs and facing a floundering Cardinals team at home. Sign me back up!
Bad news for the haters: None of my fantasy teams made the playoffs, so I have more attention to devote to picks! We are running out of time to make a comeback, but at least I don’t have to worry about how much FAAB money to drop on the waiver wire every week. What I do need to worry about is whether or not the 49ers are back. They burned my strategy of continuing to fade them with their destruction of the Bears, but I think they come back to Earth in a tough divisional game. I am going to Ram It for the first time in a while.
In the next three games, I have big home dogs. The Chiefs never cover, so Cleveland is an easy pick. Cincinnati’s cover in the Simpsons game was a total fluke and Lisa Simpson won’t bail them out this time. Tennessee was terrible against Jacksonville, but I’m sure Will Levis will bounce back now that I’m not relying on him to save my fantasy team. New Orleans is getting way too many points against a Washington team that hasn’t impressed lately.
That brings us to the return of Tommy DeVito to MetLife Stadium. I am actually happy to see him again because Drew Lock was beyond miserable last week, but that doesn’t mean the Giants have a snowball’s chance to beat Baltimore. I think the Ravens win by at least 20 as Derrick Henry attempts a single game rushing record.
The Giants will not be fun to watch, but Dallas at Carolina should be a pretty interesting game considering how bad the record are. The Panthers have been money against the spread as a dog, but I’m not feeling them as a favorite. I think the Cowboys win outright. The Jets are another team I don’t feel great about as a favorite, but I feel better about them than the Jaguars. Plus, Aaron Rodgers is coming off one of his best games a Jet.
Dolphins vs. Texans is close to a toss-up, but I’ll take Houston because of how consistently it runs the ball with Joe Mixon. I feel a lot better about Denver as a home favorite because of how well it has played lately with three straight wins by more than a touchdown. The Lions are still an auto pick because they never lose, and the Steelers get the nod in the underdog spot as usual.
I have to fade the Cardinals, as they have hit the skids with three straight losses. Meanwhile, Tampa Bay has won three straight, but the Chargers are a big step up in competition and should handle the Buccaneers at home. I am going to feel like a fool if I lose against the Seahawks again, but the Packers are playing too well, so we’ll try fading Seattle one more time.
Both home teams look good in the Monday night slate. Sam Darnold has played some of the best football of his career lately for Minnesota, and the Falcons have not played well enough lately for me to trust them against my plucky Raiders.
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Law Offices of Brandon S. Chabner
Brandon’s Posts
Taking a look at 5 HoF-worthy inductees for this year’s class:
In my opinion, these 5 are all worthy of enshrinment. A. Clay Matthews was brute force as linebacker, cracking heads and taking no prisoners for 19 years, as integral member of a few Browns teams during the Schottenheimer Era. He was responsible for a mind numbing 1600 or so tackles and about 83 sacks, and in the process instilled fear and trepidation in countless jittery running backs and slick stepping receivers who dared to come across the middle. B. Joe Jacoby, the monster-sized boss hog, who was so large (six foot 7, 305) he seemed to cover about 1/2 of the o-line all by himself. Jacoby played his entire career for the Redskins, won 3 Super Bowls and made 2 All Pros. C. Sterling Sharpe was extremely sharp during a very productive 7 year career, in which he caught nearly 600 passes, and helped Brett Favre make history. 3 All pro teams, 65 TDs and lots of dazzling runs after catches. D. Chuck Foreman, who shaked and baked his way to glory … but no Super Bowl titles… in the 1970s. Chuck was synonomous with the great Viking teams of the 1970s and ran with an almost acrobatic, physical style that those who witnessed will sure remember. Nearly 6,000 years in 7 seasons, along with over 350 pass receptions… he was elusive and powerful, and a serious competitor. E. Jim “Wrong Way” Marshall is more famous for his big blunder — running the wrong way and into his own end zone after recovering a fumble — than anything else. But this was a guy who was tough, reliable and showed up for work for an incredible 270 consecutive games, a record that would stand until Brett Favre went for 297. He recovered 30 fumbles over a 20 year career, and ruined plays for countess QBs, as part of the devastating Purple People Eater pass rush, alongside Hall of Famer Alan Page and Karl Eller. It’s time to put Jim in!
It’s time for ChabDog’s Happy Idiot Week 8 Sports Rock Pool Predictions:
It’s time for ChabDog’s Happy Idiot Week 8 Sports Rock Pool Predictions:
Thank you Brian Keller for the kind words of intro (I am not Worthy, but I’m always willing to try and come up with my best for the big game): That being said, week 8 is a time to say a prayer for the pretenders, and for those who are running empty, to fill up or get the hell off the road, so here goes (WINNING TEAM IN ALL CAPS, AND NO I AM NOT PICKING TENNESSEE TO BEAT ANYONE LOL):
1) TNF — Get serious… the VIKES will atone for last week’s weakness and sacrifice the Rams at the alter.
2) I probably shot myself in the football foot for picking a game with the ffing Falcons, but jeez Louise, they are healthy and Bucs are beaten and broken. FALCONS crest by TB on the strength of Koo’s shoe.
3) The bend in the round is the BENGALS turning the corner and moving to .500; I am not buying into the myth that the Eagles are flying straight. Go with Cincy.
4) My new commandment is that the COMMANDERS command my respect. Sorry Bears.
5) BILLS continue to look super duper with Amari Cooper; sorry Sea-men.
6) A true cupcake game for the CHIEFS…
7) Two teams going in the same, wrong direction… but the 49ERS almost never lose 2 in a row at home and the Dallas fraydsters were flat out ruined last week by the Motown marauders.
9. Please… STEELERS kick the G-men to the curb on Monday Night without giving Daniel Jones curb feelers. Look for both Fields and Mr. Wilson to have big games. YEAH!!!!!
Well Read’s Posts
Abe’s Posts
Week 16: Abe’s Scrumdidilyumptious NFL Picks (AST)
Hello everyone and welcome to another Chabdog Sports Blog of me making scrumdidilyumptious NFL picks based on very flawed science, numbies based solely on Taylor Swift’s game attendance, and a spidey sense that may or may not be functioning well based on the amount and quality of tacos I ate today since my current record is:
Week 1: 6 Week 2: 8 Week 3: 6 Week 4: 8 Week 5: 6 Week 6: 11 Week 7: 4 Week 8: 7 Week 9: 10 Week 10: 9 Week 11: 4 Week 12: 9 Week 13: 7 Week 14: 7 Week 15: 3
THURSDAY NIGHT FOOTBALL PICK
SAINTS | RAMS -4
https://t.co/6ztJ2JUGZE pic.twitter.com/bkT9XpXsTm
— Abe Miranda (@DarthVaber99) December 21, 2023
SATURDAY PICKS
BENGALS -2 | STEELERS
BILLS -12 | CHARGERS
🐅-2 || 🦬-12 https://t.co/2y5qdbULNO pic.twitter.com/rrLkwN9MS4
— Abe Miranda (@DarthVaber99) December 23, 2023
My post-game reaction to the Bengals losing to the Steelers and the Chargers covering the spread against the Bills…
My NFL picks is why I sign autos at my local mall 👍 https://t.co/BWHwlwwFZG pic.twitter.com/VjQF8sJE1G
— Abe Miranda (@DarthVaber99) December 24, 2023
SUNDAE PICKS
COMMANDERS +3 | JETS
BROWNS -2.5 | TEXANS
SEAHAWKS -2.5 | TITANS
LIONS -3 | VIKINGS
COLTS +1 | FALCONS
PACKERS -4.5 | PANTHERS
JAGUARS | BUCCANEERS -1
COWBOYS +1.5 | DOLPHINS
CARDINALS | BEARS -4
PATRIOTS | BRONCOS -6.5
MONDAY NIGHT FOOTBALL PICKS
RAIDERS +10 | CHIEFS
GIANTS +12 | EAGLES
RAVENS | 49ERS -5.5
*All odds courtesy of Bet MGM on 12/20/2023
Let me know in the comments your thoughts below, or where posted on the socials
| | @darthvaber99
Week 15: Abe’s Scrumdidilyumptious NFL Picks (AST)
Hello everyone and welcome to another Chabdog Sports Blog of me making scrumdidilyumptious NFL picks based on very flawed science, numbies based solely on Taylor Swift’s game attendance, and a spidey sense that may or may not be functioning well based on the amount and quality of tacos I ate today since my current record is:
Week 1: 6 Week 2: 8 Week 3: 6 Week 4: 8 Week 5: 6 Week 6: 11 Week 7: 4 Week 8: 7 Week 9: 10 Week 10: 9 Week 11: 4 Week 12: 9 Week 13: 7 Week 14: 7
Also, need to honorably mention that you have exactly a 50/50 chance of making any money off my picks based on my past 14-week performance. Is this good? Well, if this were straight win-or-loss picks then it simply be par for the course. However, since I’m playing against a Vegas points spread, I would say it’s more like shooting a birdie. Not a hole-in-one, not an eagle, but maybe a birdie (with a little wind to push the ball in). The goal for me is to clock over 50% by the end of the season and fortunately, I have a few more weeks to hit this goal. With that, let us open the doors to this amazing candy factory and reveal Week 15’s NFL picks (AST).
THURSDAY NIGHT FOOTBALL PICK
CHARGERS | RAIDERS -3
-3 is the Christmas 🎁 I wasn’t expecting this year 🤣🤣🤣 @NewportBest_ #RaiderNation https://t.co/1IIadvNe9z
— Abe Miranda (@DarthVaber99) December 15, 2023
SATURDAY PICKS
VIKINGS | BENGALS -3
STEELERS | COLTS -1.5
BRONCOS +4 | LIONS
SUNDAE PICKS
BEARS | BROWNS -3
FALCONS -3 | PANTHERS
JETS +8.5 | DOLPHINS
TEXANS | TITANS -3
BUCCANEERS | PACKERS
GIANTS +6 | SAINTS
49ERS | CARDINALS +12.5
COMMANDERS | RAMS -6.5
COWBOYS +2 | BILLS
RAVENS -3 | JAGUARS
CHIEFS | PATRIOTS +7.5
MONDAY NIGHT FOOTBALL PICK
EAGLES -4 | SEAHAWKS
*All odds courtesy of Bet MGM on 12/14/2023
Let me know in the comments your thoughts below, or where posted on the socials
| | @darthvaber99
Dorothy’s Posts
Aaron’s Posts
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