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Merry Christmas! Roger Goodell gave his haters a special gift this year by figuring out how to play NFL football on a Wednesday while lining the owners’ pockets with Netflix money. That’s great news for those of us who thought we would have to watch the NBA on Christmas. The only thing that can make the deal better is if I can get a couple of picks correct. The Steelers are down bad after two straight double-digit losses to Super Bowl contenders, but now they are home underdogs against the Chiefs, and I love their chances to win outright even though Kansas City has finally started covering spreads. In its only other road dog spot this season, Pittsburgh defeated the Ravens outright. In the late game, Baltimore looks to cover as a road favorite for the third time in a row. I’m happy to lay those points with how Lamar Jackson and the offense have played all year.
For the Boxing Day special, I am doing the square thing and taking Seattle. It has been a long time coming, but I finally have confidence in the Seahawks again, even if it is only because they are playing a Chicago team that has lost nine in a row, with the last three coming by at least two scores.
The Chargers coming east on a short week is a little scary, but they play an east coast style of ball, so I will bank on them bludgeoning New England. The Bengals are finally hitting their stride, but I don’t think they hold off Bo Nix and the bucking Broncos. Arizona is in a tailspin, which means that it is time to Ram It. Sean McVay’s team is coming off ATS wins against two other tailspin teams in the 49ers and Jets.
Sunday will feel strange with just nine games on the slate, but Green Bay at Minnesota should be a great game. The spread being fewer than three points is a little disrespectful to the Vikings, so I will roll with them. In the late afternoon, almost everyone will be watching the Cowboys and Eagles. Let’s go with Dallas and the huge number since Dem Boyz have won four of five and have figured out how to run the ball lately. In prime time, I like how Michael Penix Jr. looked in his first start enough to take Atlanta in Washington’s letdown spot. Laying points with the Lions is the squarest pick of the week for me, but they came through as a big road favorite last week, so it must be done.
What we learned today in the NFL —
— Dallas does have some pride after all
— Tampa Bay is jinxed
— New England is both pesky and pitiful at the same time
— Cincy is on a mission… possibly to nowhere
— Cleveland is DOA with DTR
— Miami still looks like one of the best of those who get a rest after Week 18.
— The Rams have a great coach, a great QB, some great receivers, a money RB and a scrappy defense …. which might be all they need to win the NFC
— The Eagles can’t get a Super Bowl ticket with Pickett
— Detroit should not consider Chicago a tune up for anything,… including the Vikings
— Atlanta seems to be rising like a Phoenix, with Penix
Hey everyone and welcome to NFL Week 16 where I try to beat the spread every week, make a little money, or brag to our work besties that we simply pick winners cause our state doesn’t allow sports betting yet (fuck you California). So take a look below…let me know in the comments section if I fucked this up or on any of my social media handles (note my Week 15 picks were 87.5% on the money). Let’s fucking gooooooooo.
| | @gawdbrudder
I went 9-7 last week and clawed to within 15 games of .500 at 104-119-1 with three weeks to play. That ground is not impossible to make up, but it is going to take foresight, discipline, and some hefty road favorites covering this week. Just look at that Detroit line at Chicago. It’s over a touchdown even though the Lions were shredded on defense last week and nearly allowed a miracle comeback by Caleb Williams on Thanksgiving. So why are we backing Detroit? Because this season, laying the big number with Detroit has paid off. The Lions are 3-1 against the spread when being favored by seven or more, and I expect them to pound the struggling Bears.
I am also taking the Rams, Eagles, Vikings, and Buccaneers as road favorites. They probably won’t all work out, but maybe they will go 3-1 since all four are surging right now while playing inferior competition. I actually like the Giants pick this week since they were able to move the ball a little against Baltimore and Michael Penix Jr. is making his first start for Atlanta. Maybe a rookie mistake or two will help the Giants intercept the ball for the third time this season.
I might not even watch the NFL on Saturday because of the College Football Playoff and a decent college hoops slate, but I expect Kansas City and Pittsburgh to come through for me. The Chiefs have transformed into favorites with the news that Patrick Mahomes is practicing fully this week, so getting two and a half points makes this one the easiest pick on the board. For the Steelers, they failed me as underdogs in Philadelphia, but I’m rolling with them again since they own Lamar Jackson.
Back to Sunday, I am becoming the Carolina whisperer as I smartly jumped off the bandwagon last week when Sir Purr and company became favorites against Dallas. However, now the Cats are back to being dogs and facing a floundering Cardinals team at home. Sign me back up!
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CHABDOG’S TAKING A HIGH DIVE INTO THE PERILOUS WATERS OF GAME FIVE:
ChabDog’s Jive Picks for Week 5:
— The skinny on Minny is it’ll winny… by more than 2.5
–Chicago sits on the Panthers, and makes them cry …. by more than 4.5
— Baltimore runs over the B-gals by at least a field goal
— New England turns over a new leaf and wins by 2 or more
— Washington leaves Cleveland in the dust by four or more
— Jax finally finds a playmate it can dominate … by at least 3
— Buffalo stampedes in Texas by at least a couple.
— Denver’s defense has it made in the shade against the Raiders. They win by at least 3.
— SF celebrates a little with the return of Kittle and wins by at least 8.
— Green Bay gets back to its old ways against the broken down Rams…. 4 point win or more.
— Seattle shatters the Giants’ shinebox by at least a TD.
— Bostwell’s foot pushes the Steelers past the Cowboys.
— KC can’t help from painting the Saints into a corner by more than a score.
Well Read’s Posts
NFL Week Three Spreads
NFL Week Two Pick Results
It was a massacre of the favorites! 11 dogs came home. How the heck did the Raiders do that? Why do the Cowboys suck again? How on earth did the Vikings beat the 49ers? The Rams? WTF! Fitting that the Falcons upset Phiily last night.
Leading the group Abe and Aaron are tied at 8-7-1. In second with 6 wins was Chabdog and Well Read, and poor Dorothy D had 4.
Yuk
Abe’s Posts
NASCAR Preview: XFINITY 500 @ Martinsville Speedway
Hello, Chabdog racing fans, and welcome to XFINITY 500, the last race of the Round of 8 in the NASCAR Cup Series Playoffs! Today, we find ourselves in a sold-out race at Martinsville Speedway in Ridgeway, Virginia. Below is the current layout of this short track and adjacent facilities. The most unique aspect of this track is that it’s shaped like a paper clip with straightaways made of asphalts and turns made from concrete.
Source: MVS-22-338694 Facility Map Update_v2 (martinsvillespeedway.com)
Qualifying is done for this race, and I’ve posted the Top 10 drivers as shown below:
Source: Martinsville Speedway 2 Race Results, Lineup | Official Site Of NASCAR
Below are our current playoff standings (Round of 8). Please note that the Round of 8 is made up of 3 races: Las Vegas Motor Speedway (10/15), Homestead-Miami Speedway (10/22), and Martinsville Speedway (10/29). Today, we expect all the playoff drivers to push hard to either win this race or gain as many points as possible by staying at the very front of the pack with the exception of Kyle Larson and Christopher Bell who’ve already clinched a spot for the Championship 4 race on November 5th. Finally, a win here by any of the six remaining drivers will automatically clinch them a spot in the Championship 4 race at Phoenix Raceway next week as well.
Source: 2023 NASCAR Cup Series Playoffs | Official Site Of NASCAR
Every week the Chabdog Sports Team makes on-air picks on the show for the upcoming NASCAR race and earns points based on the following criteria:
: Anyone who picks the winning driver gets 3 points.
: Anyone who picks the 2nd place driver gets 2 points.
: Anyone who picks the 3rd place driver gets 1 point.
Lastly, if no one picks a 1st, 2nd, or 3rd place driver then 1 point is awarded to the picked driver that is closest to the podium. Therefore, in our fantasy game, someone from the team always walks away with a point.
For those who are unavailable to make a pick, or do not make a pick prior to the start of the race, then that host is given the “chalk pick”. The “chalk pick” is the poll position driver for that week’s race. This week’s “chalk pick” is Martin Truex Jr.
Last week’s race results:
Source: Homestead-Miami Speedway Race Results, Lineup | Official Site Of NASCAR
My pick: William Byron
Lastly, sound off who you think our podium winner is for today’s race in the comments below!
With that, let’s get ready to NAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAASCAR!
| | @darthvaber99
Week 8: Abe’s Shitty NFL Picks (AST)
Hey everyone and welcome to another episode of me making shitty picks based on flawed science, numbies based solely on Taylor Swift’s game attendance, and mistaken logic since my current record is:
Week 1: 6 Week 2: 8 Week 3: 6 Week 4: 8 Week 5: 6 Week 6: 11 Week 7: 4
Also, need to honorably mention that fading me statistically (53.33%) gives you a way better chance of making any money from my NFL picks, hence, Abe’s Shitty NFL Picks. So let’s try this again with the goal of trying to pick more right games than wrong ones in Week 8!
BILLS -8.5: Baker Mayfield (QB) is currently listed as questionable for this matchup against the Bills so there’s a good chance the Bucs hurt offense will not be able to catch up to the Bills allowing them to cover the 8.5 point spread.
PATRIOTS +9.5: The Dolphins have both WR Tyreek Hill (hip injury) and RB Raheem Mostert (ankle injury) listed as questionable which would be a huge blow to their offense if they do not play against a Patriots team who just beat the Buffalo Bills in Week 7. Both Mostert and Hill have put in huge offensive numbies so far this season, and without them, it will be difficult to beat the Patriots by more than 9.5 points.
JETS -3: The Giants may have recently beaten the Commanders in Week 7, however, they’ve been gawd awful before then. Additionally, the Giants RB Saquon Barkley is currently listed as questionable (elbow), which only further helps the Jets cover the spread in this one. Ultimately, the Jets have beaten the Eagles (Week 7) and the Broncos (Week 6) by more than 3 points so I do not see how any of this would suggest the Jets would not be able to cover the spread in this one.
JAGUARS -2.5: Last week I did not pick the Jaguars simply because I did not think Trevor Lawerence (QB) would be plowing through the Saints wearing a knee brace as he was checked off as questionable. Again, Lawerence is listed as questionable for this game, but won’t be surprised to see him out on the field again wearing his knee brace and plowing through the Steelers to cover the spread in Pittsburgh.
FALCONS -3: I didn’t get a lot of games right last week, but I did get the Falcons right considering they had better offensive and defensive numbers to beat the Bucs. The same applies here, as the Falcons find themselves in a similar situation over the Titans (except that the Bucs are a slightly better team) and will use the same winning formula I used last week to make this pick.
TEXANS -3: The 0-6 Panthers are horrendous and simply can’t compute a scenario where they’re going to be anywhere near the 3-point spread against the Texans in this one. Especially against a team that has already beaten the Saints, the Steelers & the Jaguars.
RAMS +6.5: The Rams have all the offensive numbies in their favor to not only cover the spread but to outright beat the Cowboys at AT&T. However, both teams have been hit or miss this season, and with that kind of record, it’s hard to trust any of these teams with that kind of spread. Going to side with Rams here to keep this game truer to their actual numbies.
VIKINGS -1: WTF happened to the Packers this season? Yes, we all knew Jordan Love wasn’t going to have a perfect season, but to lose to both the Raiders (Week 6) and the Broncos (Week 7) back to back is simply screaming your team is a raging…flaming…dumpster fire. Yes, the Vikings have not been stellar this season either, but they did beat the 49ers last week, and if they can do that, what makes anyone think they cannot beat the Packers by 1 point in this Pick’em game?
SAINTS +1: The Saints and the Colts are simply two garbage teams battling it out to be crowned king of the dump on Sunday. These two teams have an identical track record and are both coming off a losing streak. The Saints are coming into this game with 3 additional rest days and a better defense. The only issue I have with the Saints is that Derek Carr has had some issues connecting with his offensive players, although not entirely his fault. Again, not too much separating these teams here, but handing the slight advantage to the Saints in this Pick’em game.
EAGLES -6.5: The Eagles have clearly demonstrated that they can get the ball down the field by killing the Dolphins in Week 7 using their immaculate tush push strategy to get the extra yards they need for a first down and killing them by way more than the spread we have in this match up. Easy breezy money.
SEAHAWKS -3.5: PJ Walker will start for the Browns against the Seahawks, which could favor the Hawks in this game at home. The only thing going for the Browns in this one is their defense, however, the Colts proved in Week 7 that they could get 38 points out of them and I assume the Hawks will be watching some film on that this week.
RAVENS -8.5: The Cardinals have lost their four last games by 10+ points while beating the Lions by 30+ points in Week 7. Signs that the Ravens shouldn’t have a problem covering the spread.
CHIEFS -7: The Broncos once again find themselves playing the Chiefs who lost to them 19-8. I’m sure they’ll work on fixing those mistakes this week, however, execution is where the money is at and I don’t think they have what it takes to cover the spread.
BENGALS -5.5: Brock Purdy is questionable, is in concussion protocol, and will probably not play in this one. That being said, we can expect the 49ers to not play as well as they would normally do against this Bengals team. Also, keep in mind that the 49ers are on a losing streak while the Bengals are on a winning one.
BEARS +8.5: The West Coast Bears (Chargers) are in no position to beat anyone by 8.5 points, especially after giving up more than 432 yards this season and being an utter disappointment to Chargers Superfan Merianne Do who has gone 0-2 since going viral.
LIONS -8.5: Both the Raiders and the Lions lost by great margins in Week 7, however, the Raiders have been consistently not so good whereas the Lions have been consistently pretty dominant prior to last week’s game. Jimmy Garoppolo (QB) is currently listed as questionable for this game for his back, but will most likely return in this matchup per the latest reports. However, Jimmy G has already thrown 8 interceptions this season which is concerning since he hasn’t played 8 games which could help the Lions cover the spread if he throws another interception in this one. Leaning on the Raiders dropping the ball in Detroit in true Raiders fashion.
*All odds courtesy of Bet MGM on 10/25/2023
Let me know in the comments your thoughts on Week 8 below, or wherever you find this posted on social media
| | @darthvaber99
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