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HALFWAY THROUGH THE SEASON…LFGOOOOO NFL WEEK 9! As always, have to celly double-digit Ws last week going 10/16 (63%) which is always great when the goal is to have a SZN record greater than .500! Before considering my Week 9 Scrumdidilyumptious ATS Picks, here is my season resume for your review.

Resume:

WEEK 1: 10/16 (62.5%) WEEK 2: 8/15 + 1 Push (53.3%)  WEEK 3: 8/16 (50%) WEEK 4:  9/16 (56%) WEEK 5: 7/14 (50%)  WEEK 6: 10/14 (71%) WEEK 7: 9/15 (60%) WEEK 8: 10/16 (63%) SEASON RECORD (ATS): 71/122 + 1 Push (58%)

OK, now that we’re all caught up and you’re still willing to read my scummy bag picks, lets fucking go NFL Week 9 (thank you for acknowledging you still have a better shot with my picks below than LITERALLY flipping a quarter)!

THURSDAY NIGHT FOOTBALL: 

I looked at the spread & decided to take “the chalk” (Texans -.5).  CLEARLY this was a bad pick because WTF Texans! To be fair, I don’t think anyone realistically had the Jets beating the Texans by more than a touchdown on their BINGO card, but here we are.

|  | @gawdbrudder

We’re throwing everything we got up on the walls of our Hermosa Beach studio, just to see what’ll stick. But unlike for your friendly local compactor, once it’s out there, there’s a no return policy, so sbsorb it at your own risk. Lots to talk about, including Dallas trying to burn its way out of the GA dome, the Aints painted into a corner as prohibitve favorite in Scarolina, the Packers now pressured to pick up their lethargic offense against Detroi at Lambeau, and the Bangles trying to make hay against the Raiders. Plus, Dodger rooters are replaced by Dodger looters as the World Series celebration pre-party runs amok, turning an LA Metrobus into a sizzling pile of floating Kingford. Commentary on the Ravens’ plush, purple rush helmets from hell, what the hell they were they thinking when they flubbed up the mascot for the “Utah Hockey Club”, clips galore, and so much more.

As much fun as it would have been to watch the Yankees fans who took the ball away from Mookie Betts become more and more famous, I have to say that I am happy about the New York Yankees being eliminated last night. With Steve Cohen at the helm, the Mets have a chance to battle for New York baseball supremacy, and that battle would be going downhill if it started with a Yankees World Series championship. Now we’ll see if Cohen will bid against the Yankees for one of their superstars. He was absent when it was Aaron Judge in free agency, but now is another great opportunity to get Juan Soto to Queens with the Mets coming off a successful season and searching for sustainability. No matter what the optimistic Mets fans tell you, there’s no guarantee that the future is bright or that the Mets return to the Postseason in 2025. Too much has to go right, especially with the makeshift pitching rotation. Bringing in Soto to pair with Lindor at the top of the order would solidify the Mets’ foundation, at least on offense.

Soto has only raised his free agency stock with a dominant October. He hit .327/.469/.633 after coming off an incredible regular season in which he set a career high in home runs and WAR. On Wednesday night, he walked three times to set the table for Aaron Judge, who finally came through with a home run in the first inning and made it look like the Yankees were on their way back to Los Angeles. Heading into the fifth inning, Gerrit Cole was rolling, Judge was back, and Yankees fans were thinking that a shocking comeback was close to reality.

Oh wow…

Another mistake from the Yankees defense as nobody covers 1st and the Dodgers are on the board! pic.twitter.com/BACmr6IKkM

— FOX Sports: MLB (@MLBONFOX) October 31, 2024

Then the Yankees got sloppy with Judge inexplicably dropping a soft liner hit right to him and Anthony Volpe bouncing a throw to third base on a ball hit to his right. The back-to-back (and belly-to-belly) errors loaded the bases for Los Angeles, but Cole appeared to right the ship with strikeouts of Gavin Lux and Shohei Ohtani. Yankee Stadium was ready to erupt when Mookie Betts followed with a routine ground ball to first base, but Cole for no reason at all refused to cover the base, allowing Betts to reach on a “single” by beating Anthony Rizzo in a foot race.

Yankees fans and baseball fans in general will be talking about that play for a long time. What if Cole remembers his PFP and closes out that inning with no runs allowed? Certainly, the Yankees go on to win Game 5, but what happens after that? Would they continue the miracle comeback in Los Angeles? We’ll never know because the floodgates opened for the Dodgers. Freddie Freeman lined a base hit up the middle and Teoscar Hernandez doubled over Judge’s head in center field. Those hits drove in two runs apiece and Los Angeles came out of the frame with a 5-5 tie. Although the Yankees, again sparked by a Soto walk, regained the lead in the 6th on a Giancarlo Stanton sac fly, the Dodgers struck back in the eighth with a pair of sac flies following a Tommy Kahnle meltdown that loaded the bases with no outs.

Blake Treinen and Walker Buhler shut down New York in the final two frames, and the celebration was on for the Dodgers. The massive investments that the front office made in Ohtani and Yoshinobu Yamamoto paid dividends right away, and the franchise had its first full-season title since 1988. Meanwhile, the Yankees are left continuing their hunt for a 28th World Series title and I get a few months of not having to worry about getting left out of a New York City ticker-tape parade.

Maybe that next parade won’t come from a baseball team, though. The Knicks delivered a big road win in what I called a must-win game in Miami! Trailing by as many as 13 early in the third quarter, the Knicks stormed back and won the game 116-107 thanks to an elite performance from Karl-Anthony Towns. Hopefully it is the first of many, as Big Meow scored 44 points on 17-for-25 shooting. Now that is the kind of player that it is worth giving up Julius Randle and Donte DiVincenzo for. Towns scored from inside and outside and pulled down 13 rebounds as well. He wasn’t consistent in the NBA Playoffs last season, but the upside that Towns shows when he is great is why I believed in the trade when the Knicks made it. This is a guy who can help the Knicks compete with the best of the best in the NBA. New York is off on Halloween and visits Detroit on Friday.

Welcome to spoooooooky season! Wait, it’s been spooky season for a while? I haven’t noticed because my betting record has been spookier than even the creepiest ghouls, goblins, and Jets fans. But last week I went 10-6! Finally, winning has returned to this column. The climb back to .500 continues into November!

Houston -0.5 at NY Jets

Fading the Jets has been a key point in my turnaround, so we are not stopping now, even though the line is BEGGING me to take Jets. I refuse despite the injuries to Nico Collins and Stefon Diggs for Houston. The Texans proved two weeks ago at Green Bay that they could cover the spread without much of passing game. In that one, they lost to the Packers in the final seconds with just 86 passing yards from C.J. Stroud.

Dallas +2.5 at Atlanta

A Cowboys loss would drop them to 3-5, and they have been way too consistent over the past few years to have that kind of record. If the Dallas offense performs the way it did during its wild comeback attempt at San Francisco, they could win by a couple of scores. If not, I like the points in a game that could come down to the wire.

Miami +6.5 at Buffalo

It has been unseasonably warm in the Northeast lately, so the Dolphins shouldn’t be too chilly in Buffalo. Tua Tagovailoa’s first game back from his concussion was a disaster, but not because of the offense. Miami should score enough to cover.

Las Vegas +7.5 at Cincinnati

We will keep the road dog train going (the Houston line has shifted) with the Raiders. They have covered big lines for me against Baltimore and Kansas City this season.

LA Chargers -2.5 at Cleveland

Jameis Winston and Cedric Tillman have formed a connection that gave the Cleveland offense a huge lift in their upset win over the Ravens last week. It is tempting to ride that momentum, but I think the Browns come back to Earth for a week, even if the quarterback change is good for the long run.

New England +3.5 at Tennessee

Speaking of quarterback changes, the New England offense has been decent since Drake Maye took over. He is now in concussion protocol, but I like the Patriots even if he’s out. They have shown more life than Tennessee lately.

Denver at Baltimore -8.5

Denver is has won five of six and Baltimore is coming off of a brutal loss. The Broncos’ schedule has been super soft, though. Ravens get back on track with a dominant win.

Washington at NY Giants +3.5

Apart from the Philadelphia disaster, the Giants have played up to their competition and have made their games competitive. They also should have beaten Washington in Week 2 if not for their kicker situation. Jayden Daniels is electric, but he didn’t find the end zone last week until the Hail Mary, and he didn’t find it at all in these teams’ first meeting.

New Orleans at Carolina +6.5

This is like Trump supporters vs. the island of Puerto Rico. Just take the points.

Jacksonville at Philadelphia -7.5

I have to admit that the Eagles are a wagon. It really sucks, but I will not let it cost me any more picks.

Chicago at Arizona -1.5

These feisty Cardinals are just finding ways to win! Kyler Murray has exciting young weapons to throw to, and the schedule is manageable. Arizona could end up as a division champ.

Detroit at Green Bay +4.5

Jordan Love is trending towards playing, and this could be an amazing shootout that comes down to the final drive. Four points is very generous even though the Lions are a juggernaut.

LA Rams +1.5 at Seattle

The Atlanta win looks like a blip on the radar for the Hawks, as they have not been able to slow down anybody else. The Rams should score plenty with Matthew Stafford coming off a four-touchdown performance.

Indianapolis +6.5 at Minnesota

Joe Flacco is back in command, and that means that the Indianapolis offense is great again. Colts should be able to at least cover in Minnesota.

Tampa Bay at Kansas City -8.5

I was finally right in fading the Chiefs last week, so now I can start riding them. That spread looks very big, but I take it as a challenge.

It has been a rough week for New York sports. At least Yankees fans got to see their team bounce back and show some life in an 11-4 spanking of the Dodgers. Now those Yankees fans get to pretend that they had their team’s back the whole way when in reality they were all saying that the World Series was over after Game 3. Don’t they know what happens to the Dodgers in a bullpen game? Dave Roberts should know, but he keeps using the dumb strategy anyway.

I was rooting for the Yankees to get embarrassed, so I am stuck with trying to get joy out of the Knicks and Rangers. That shouldn’t be too hard given that the Rangers are a wagon and the Knicks are expected to compete for the top spot in the Eastern Conference, but the Knicks are off to a 1-2 start and the Rangers just lost to the Capitals in a game that saw seven goals scored in the first 25 minutes of play. I turned the game on midway through the second period with the Caps leading 4-3.  I figured that the Blueshirts were due for a comeback since they score around five goals per game, but instead neither team put the puck in the net until Washington got an empty-net goal in the final minute.

What an effort from Pro here pic.twitter.com/gvQwcccJym

— Washington Capitals (@Capitals) October 30, 2024

Many fans don’t even want the Rangers to win during the regular season because of the “curse” on the Presidents’ Trophy, but I am greedy and want the Rangers to be the team to break the curse. Gotta beat the Caps to do that, and you can’t beat the Caps when you’re beating outshot 46-19. Rangers need to rebound against Ottawa at home on Friday.

As for the Knicks, they looked like they were in control for much of the night against Cleveland, but then Darius Garland decided to stop missing field goals. He scored 15 of the his 34 points in the fourth quarter, and Cleveland outscored New York by 10 in the period to win 110-104.

Darius Garland is HOT in the 4Q 👀

13 PTS in the quarter… 32 for the game!

Cavs lead the Knicks by 3 with under 2 to play on NBA League Pass ⤵️ https://t.co/CDp6cvpg0Y pic.twitter.com/qsCOEhOeTw

— NBA (@NBA) October 29, 2024

The Knicks seem to have all the tools to make a run at the NBA Finals following the trade for Karl-Anthony Towns. Him and Jalen Brunson should form an inside-outside combo that is impossible to guard while Mikal Bridges and OG Anunoby lock down the perimeter on defense. That is the theory, but it is not playing out on the court so far because KAT is so passive and loves settling for 25-foot jumpers. He scored just 13 points in 32 minutes in Monday night’s loss while Brunson shot 8-for-24. The Knicks need more from those guys when Garland is shooting lights out. New York hits the road tonight with a game in Miami, and it is as must-win as it gets in October.

Speaking of tonight, the Yankees will try to continue their World Series comeback with Gerrit Cole on the mound against Jack Flaherty and the Dodgers. Last night, a lot of fans got bent out of shape when a Yankees fan ripped a foul ball out of Mookie Betts’ glove.

"Well, A for effort."

Fan interference was called on this play where a Yankee fan tried to take the ball out of Mookie Betts' glove after an out. pic.twitter.com/iZ6taImncd

— FOX Sports: MLB (@MLBONFOX) October 30, 2024

Who says there’s no home field advantage in baseball?! Sure, it’s a bit of a security issue that fans are manhandling one of the top players in the game. MLB should kick those goons out of Yankee Stadium for the rest of the World Series and let them watch at Billy’s, where they can bathe in adoration and fame. If I was a Yankees fan, I would love that these guys are making the Dodgers a little uncomfortable after the Bombers rolled over for them three games in a row.

Instead of giving the Yankees fans credit for taking matters into their own hands, some Mets fans in my Twitter feed decided that their behavior was an example of society’s downfall.

Steve Bartman's life was ruined over something far less egregious than what those Yankee fans did and those dregs of society are being treated like heroes. I feel like this is another manifestation of society being cooked and antisocial behavior just being acceptable now.

— Allison McCague, PhD 🧬⚾️ (@PetitePhD) October 30, 2024

Yeah, it’s definitely the times we live in that are the big difference between Bartman and the Yankees fans. It’s certainly not that Bartman accidentally took an out away from his own team at a critical juncture in the game. I’m very confident that if Bartman had taken an out away from the Marlins and allowed the Cubs to rally and win the pennant, he would be remembered a LITTLE differently. Likewise, if the Yankees fans had taken the ball out of Juan Soto’s glove? I’m not sure they make it out of the Stadium alive.

I’m still rooting for the Dodgers because I cannot stand Yankees fans and I cannot stand being a second-class citizen Mets fan. At least if the Yankees pull this off, it will drive some of the haters and losers insane along with me.

Thank you God, for letting me see this memorable manifestation of Steeler MNF magic. We had a frenzied crowd, a 100+ plus grind out game from nails Najee, George Pickens picking those catches out of the air without a care (but get that other foot down next time, it will win you more points for style than you know), a calm, cool and reflective Russ, who spread the ball around and kept our minds at ease with the flicks he had up his sleeve, Calvin Austin III with two dazzling TDs, and of course the mostly smothering defense, led by our edge rusher wrecking balls. Give the Giants credit for hanging in there, but that ridiculous perversion of a two-point conversion try was just a hopeless harbinger of bad things to come.

It could have been the one of the greatest Sundays in recent memory — instead here’s how the carnage unfolded:
–Philly pounded the Bungles repeatedly and without mercy in the second half, after things had started rather favorably for Cincy. Hurts was on target and the tush push, not to mention the rest of the Eagle rushing attack, showed up. And I don’t know what happened to the revitalized Bungle d-line. No, there was no vitality. My bad.
— The irresponsible Ravens fiddled and diddled there way to a loss, one that they truly deserved. Famous Jameis is again famous, and they’re doing the crab leg walk in the dog pound. Again, my bad.
— The Lions did show up in a big way. Dorothy Dawn, your bad. Yes, they were more than interested. Pat myself on the freaking back for that ballsy call… lol
— My Cardinals (no… Gidget’s Cardinals) made me proud by defying the big crowd that came to the return of Tua. You go Fun-sized Kyler. My good.
— The Jets walked me down the primrose path, taking a pretty commanding lead on the Patsies, only to wilt a drooping venus fly trap in the face of a furious fourth quarter dead cat bounce by New England. My bad for thinking this game would go like the encounter earlier this year at Metlife.
— Atlanta, almost unexpectedly, held on for dear life, and covered in the always up close and personal meeting with the fagged out Bucs. The Bucs did give it 110%, but now find themself in the bowels of the AFC South, save the very bottom flour inhabited by Scarolina. My good.
— The Packers had the spread handled, or at least technically in hand, until they fells asleep in the 4th, woke up with the usual 3 point win. Ditto for the Texans-Cots. My double bad.
— The Bills oil spilled the Wee-hawks. Is that a defense I’m seeing that could actually stand up to KC. My good for relying on old reliable.
— Chargers manipulate the Aints into a very predictable 18 point loss, which must have been as exciting as standing in a bank line. My good for knowing Rattler would be rattled and Harbaugh would recover his pants, lost in Arizona last week.
— Carolina continues to look not very nice with Bryce, while it increasingly appears Bo knows football again.
— Chiefs did what they often do, dominate a game but do just enough to screw me when I give them my whole hearted support. Or maybe its the Raiders screwing with me?
— Commanders really rip my heart out with that amazing hail Jaden; nearly crashed my bike on my ride home when that result flashed on my phone. Thanks Bears, and my double bad… as I changed my initial pick thinking Daniels wouldn’t be playing.
— Boyz took their eyes off of the ball, lose a lead and then nearly win (and cover); but it was all for nothing, as the final margin for the Niners was 6, not 5.5. Let’s face it,…. post-op Dak just doesn’t want to run for it, and that really limits his team’s down-the-field potentials. My bad.