Because sports should never run your life ... retorts for sports

NBA Update, Recap and Perspectives: Tuesday, 1-8-19 (click post for audio)

Sweet Lou has become a staple contributor at Staples

NBA Update:

  • Clippers nail the Hornets to the wall at Staples with what has been become rather habitual solid play from the quartet of Williams, Harrell, Harris and Gallinari. #Hornets #Clippers
  • Streaking Raptors surge past Raptors with lots of help from Serge. #Hawks #Raptors
  • Jokic was deft and clutch in Miami as the Nuggets beat the Heat. Denver stays on a roll, doing a great job in the paint and on the boards. #Nuggets #Heat
  • T-Wolves looked very mean and hungry tonight in OKC, as Wiggins figures heavily in an upset win with a fantastic 40. #Timberwolves #Thunder
Categories: NBA

BCS Update — 1-7-9 (click post for audio)

Tide succumb to Tiger pride!

BCS Title Game:

The Crimson Tide was all out of answers tonight, as it got thoroughly bottled up and throttled by Dabo’s pride of hungry Tigers. Unable to extract exactly what it wanted on the ground. Bama had to rely on its air attack, which turned out to be a fatal flaw in Saban’s inadequate game plan. In the end, this was an interesting affair until mid-3rd quarter, at which point it just got hopelessly out of hand. And with a Freshman QB and loads of talent coming back, it should be Green Acres in Death Valley for years to come. #Tigers #CrimsonTide

NFL Update, Recap and Perspectives: Sunday, 1-6-19 (click post for audio)

Parkey needs to work on his parking skills!

NFL Update:

  • All the Bears had to do was park a 43 yard field goal over the cross bar and between the goal posts at Soldier field; unfortunately Parkey was not up to the task, and it’s Philadelphia that lives to play another day. Chicago definitely has only itself to blame, not just because this game was completely winnable, but also given the harsh reality that Minnesota would’ve likely been an easier mark in round one, as compared with the defending champs. It only gets tougher for the Eagles, who now travel to the Big Easy, where Breesy and the who dat gang await, fully rested. Foles will need to bring his “A” game, not the B variety we saw today, if they are to prevail in what would be a major upset. #Eagles #Bears
  • Baltimore shoots itself in the foot with an anemic offense, headed up by sluggish side-winding slinger Lamar, and of all things, a missed field goal by normally Turgo-charged Tucker, opening the door for the Chargers to slip through to week 2 of the NFL Playoffs. This was no work of beauty for either team’s QB, as Rivers was keep largely under wraps for most of the game, but LAC came up with enough yards and points to have a relatively secure cushion, leading in to a rather chaotic final 8 minutes. Indeed, if the Ravens had only made a 50 yard try earlier in the game, they might have been in good position in the final minute to tie things up with another kick. As it worked out, the road team pulled out a real gut check victory and moves on to New England, where it will need to be a lot sharper if it has any hope of overcoming the favored Patriots. #Chargers #Ravens
Categories: NFL

NFL Update, Recap and Perspectives: Sunday, 1-5-19 (click post for audio)

Mack’s running puts the two-stepping Texans out of whack

NFL Update:

  • Cowboys mount and stuff Seahawks with a bruising performance by Zeke and some timely, clutch moments from Dak. In a year that many cite as one of his finest displays of coaching prowess, Petey C. was curiously asleep at the wheel, particularly when it came to the offensive play calling. Seattle mindlessly ran again and again into a brick wall at AT&T, getting its wake up call with two minutes left, when it was a classic case of too little, too late. And what was with that idiotic drop kick/onside kick to end the game by Dickson. Leave that junk in the Aussie rules league, please! #Cowboys #Seahawks
  • Colts are thanking their lucky stars they have Luck; Texans take a serious punch on the chin and will have a nice long off season to figure out why they were knocked so woozy. The bottom line is that Watson is by no means a polished, seasoned product and has a ton of growing up to do. He doesn’t read defenses well enough and telegraphs his throws. Today, he was also consistently off target, and there wasn’t much in the way of perimeter options with his No. 1 option, Hopkins, neutralized. KC had better be ready, as Luck showed what he can do to them in that wild 45-44 game a few years back. Congratulations to Frank Reich for engineering a pretty amazing recovery this year. #Colts #Texans

Categories: NFL

NBA Update, Recap and Perspectives: Friday, 1-4-19 (click post for audio)

Geritol for the Griz and Gasol?

NBA Update:

  • Things continue to get better for the Nets, while the Griz and Gasol may need to get their hands on some Geritol, good and fast. #Nets #Grizzlies
  • Without much fanfare, the Pacers are taking their place among the Eastern Conference elite … but does this impressive run really have feet? #Pacers #Bulls
  • Hawks were clearly out of luck when they drew the radically improved Bucks on their dance card. Today’s social event was a very pleasant tuneup for the showdown tomorrow with Toronto. #Hawks #Bucks
  • Celtics thank Dirk for a long career of exemplary work, then proceed to routinely dismantle Dallas. #Mavericks #Celtics

Categories: NBA

NHL Update, Recap and Perspectives: Friday, 1-4-19 (click post for audio)

Now here’s a truly functional team Pittsburgh can embrace while the Steelers figure out how to get their act together!

NHL Update:

  • Bang! Bang! Letang and the Pens notch their 8th in a row over the sputtering Jets. #Jets #Penguins
  • Kinkaid comes to the aid of the Devils as they give Coyotes the shaft. #Devils #Coyotes
  • Stars lean on Seguin to sashay past Caps in the extra period of play. #Capitals #Stars
Categories: NHL

NBA Update, Recap and Perspectives: Thursday, 1-3-19 (click post for audio)
Rock’m Sock’m Rockets floor the presumptuous Warriors in OT thriller

NBA Update:

  • Rock’m Sock’m Rockets floor the presumptuous Warriors in OT thriller. Harden unveils the full monty in front of a stunned crowd at the Oracle, which watched a 20+ lead go bye bye, despite an atrocious missed call by the refs that enabled Durant to “save” the ball while clearly out of bounds. It’s nice to see GSW finally pay the price for a ridiculous selection of wild three balls and often shoddy defense, and kudos for James, who sticks a monster cluck three in loud mouth Green’s pie hole as time was running down. #Rockets #Warriors
  • It wasn’t exactly Kawhi appreciation night in San Antonio, as the Spurs run roughshod over the glassy-eye Raptors. Maybe sensitive Leonard needs to toughen up, as fans let him have it for going AWOL. #Raptors #Spurs
  • Linus stops a ton of shots in another tight victory for the Sabres, giving more credence to the notion that he’s their security blanket. #Panthers #Sabres
  • Nuggies plumb wear out the Kings on the boards, with Jokic and Plumlee leading the way, and Jamal had all the answers from the field in another thrilling and fulfilling road victory for the Western Conference leaders. #Nuggets #Kings

NHL Update, Recap and Perspectives: Thursday, 1-3-19 (click post for audio)
Linus saves the day for the Sabres

NHL Update:

  • Linus stops a ton of shots in another tight victory for the Sabres, giving more credence to the notion that he’s their security blanket. #Panthers #Sabres
  • Is it big news that the defending champ Caps get spanked by the mediocre Blues? Unfortunately in St. Louis, the answer is yes. #Blues #Capitals
  • Encounter with Flames lights a fire under lately stodgy B’s attack. Nice job today by Marchand, DeBrusk and Pasternak. #Flames #Bruins
  • Wild burn Leafs on quick release by Parise. #Wild #MapleLeafs
Categories: NHL

NBA Update, Recap and Perspectives: Wednesday, 1-2-18 (click post for audio)
Lakers crater when Thunder come rumbling into Tinsel Town

NBA Update:

  • Without LeBron to lean on, backbone challenged Lakers show some spunk for 3 quarters, but end up getting punked by Paul George and OKC. Maybe being obnoxious to the game’s leading scorer wasn’t such a good idea, was it? #Lakers #Thunder
  • Griffin continues to be a spark plug for the blue collar Pistons, who come away with a big victory in the Grindhouse. #Pistons #Grizzlies
  • C’s explode for thirty something assists and have their best shooting night of the season, but the real cause for mirth in the the TD Garden is the return to form of Gordo, who goes for 35 on 80% from the field. Timberwolves #Celtics
  • AD’s back, but all’s not well for the Pels … and as regards the criticism, it’s high time they got defensive about it. Giving up 126 to the Nets is about as bad as it gets. #Pelicans #Nets
  • Wizards find a nice whipping boy in the timid Hawks … what a shock! #Hawks #Wizards
Categories: NBA

NFL Update, Recap and Perspectives: Sunday, 12-30-18 (click post for audio)
Playoffs are set; Eagles and Ravens are flying high, while Steelers, Texans and Vikings grieve

NFL Update:

  • Browns make it very interesting, largely due to a huge game from Baker Mayfield, but in the end Baltimore’s size and muscle was just too much for the visitors to handle. This team is ready to move on in the playoffs, with a defense that could give massive headaches to the conference favorites. #Browns #Ravens
  • Chiefs dispatch the wandering, how homeless Raiders with less than minimal difficulty, and hope they can now enjoy a nice long homestand before the Super Bowl. #Raiders #Chiefs
  • Redskins roll over and play dead in Landover, while Eagles remind us they have the hearts of champions. #Eagles #Redskins
  • Chargers rely on their defense to debunk the Broncos, but questions do remain whether they are tough enough to weather what will likely be an uncomfortable trip east to face #4 Baltimore in round one. Better get ready for a bruising battle. #Chargers #Broncos
  • Steelers recover from another puzzling, elongated trance to conquer a depleted Bengals squad. But after the game, they and their fans are treated to watching a particularly cruel tease by the Browns, who fall about 15 yards short of a mammoth upset of Baltimore’s purple birds. This was truly a fitting end to season of lost opportunities, lapses in concentration, and shocking mistakes. Changes need to be made by the front office, or this franchise risks falling seriously behind the leaders of the AFC. #Steelers #Bengals
  • Lions rock Aaron’s world, and leave the Packers in complete shambles as they say goodbye to a disappointing 2018. Talk about split personalities! #Lions #Packers
  • Patriots do what Patriots do and enjoy that home cooking comfort food with a habitual spanking of the regrettable Jets at Foxboro. #Patriots #Jets
  • Texans tag Jags with another ignominius and insulting loss, while securing home field for the first round of the playoffs. Don’t worry Houston, Jacksonville didn’t take offense … in any sense of the word. #Jaguars #Texans
  • Rams push around the wimpy Niners, but are they really the big bully on the NFC block? #Rams #Cardinals
  • Hawks kick the Cards out of their nest and turn their attention to the rest of the playoff contenders. #Seahawks #Cardinals
  • Falcons finish strong, leaving much hope for Ryan and the boys’ recovery in 2019; as for the Bucs, absolutely no light at the end of the tunnel in Tampa. #Falcons #Buccaneers
  • Dak makes sure Cowboys don’t slack off in a completely meaningless season finale at East Rutherford. This loss may well be the final chapter in the Giant book of Eli. #Cowboys #Giants
  • Allen and Co. help Buffalo experience some much celebrated home improvement. As for Gase, his days seem to be numbered. #Dolphins #Bill

Categories: NFL

Bowl Game Update — 12-29-18
We have the inevitable: Dabo vs. Nick Satan

Bowl Game Update:

  • Clemson manhandles the light-in-the-loafers Fighting Irish in every way possible. For shame, Notre Dame, as the Golden Domers lay a basket full of rotten eggs once again in the BCS. As for the Tigers, they have all the weapons needed to give Bama a good run for their money, and end this god forsaken era of Satanic worship at the top of the college football pyramid. #FightingIrish #Tigers
  • Try as they may, the Sooners can never recover from starting the Orange Bowl like real lemons … with the most sour case of Okie depression since the 1930s. #Sooners #CrimsonTide
  • More season ending hard times for Harbaugh, as elusive Perine leaves the Wolverines wallowing in in the Peach Bowl latrine. #Gators #Wolverines

Bowl Game Update — 12-28-18

Bowl Game Update:

  • Minshew turns the Cyclone secondary to mincemeat in the Alamo Bowl. #Cyclones #Cougars
  • Syracuse wins a bowl game by default after Will Grier decides he had better things to do than indulge in the wonderful world of camping. #Mountaineers #Orangemen
  • Boilermakers made to look ridiculous by the suddenly ferocious Auburn Tigers in the Music City Bowl. This was the same team that throttled Ohio State? Really? #Boilermakers #Tigers

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