Because sports should never run your life ... retorts for sports

NHL Update, Recap and Perspectives: Tuesday, 3-21

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NHL Update:

  • Isn’t it a bit ironic that the Flyers couldn’t control the Jets? #Flyers #Jets
  • Uncommon valor shown by the Canucks as they go into Chicago and slay the mighty Hawks. #Canucks #Blackhawks
  • Turn out the lights on the Lightning after this costly collapse in period 3. #Coyotes #Lightning
  • Devils win over NYR … albeit in OT …. stranger things have rarely happened to the Rangers. #Rangers #Devils
  • Caps coast when Oshie and Ovechkin don’t oscillate in mission to douse the Flames. #Flames #Capitals
  • In the rink tonight, Sid the Kid looked as self assured and untouchable as Wyatt Earp walking through that creek, amid a withering crossfire of bullets. #Penguins #Sabres
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Categories: NHL

NBA Update, Recap and Perspectives: Tuesday, 3-21

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NBA Update:

  • Dad Chris Paul had some extra time on his hands tonight, so he took his little boy to Clippers’ remake of the movie “Blowout”. #Clippers #Lakers
  • The bright side to a night that sidelined its no. 1 ever boards supplier Whiteside is that the Heat now have the inside lane to the playoffs. #Suns #Heat
  • Another ginormous win for Giannis and his Bucks. #Trailblazers #Bucks
  • Down by one late in the game, the Spurs had the T-wolves right where they wanted them; they had the ability to go higher with Kawhi, while Minnesota didn’t even the ability to diagram a decent play. Tom T. knows D, but he needs to buy the vowel O. #Spurs #Timberwolves
  • Mavs continue to sag against the Warriors. #Warriors #Mavericks
  • One thing’s for sure, nobody mistook good boy Brook for bad boy Robin tonight. #Pistonswin
  • This game is only the latest in a procession of unusual concessions made by the less competitive Bulls. #Bulls #Raptors
  • Memphis blue bears hit with a hard 1-2 combo from Cousins and the rest of his Pelican relations, which leaves them decidedly black and blue. #Grizzlies #Pelicans
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Categories: NBA

NBA Update, Recap and Perspectives: Monday, 3-20

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NBA Update:

  • Indiana inches closer to a playoff berth. #Jazz #Pacers
  • Warriors stir up a big fuss in OKC, and in the process put the clamps on Russ. #Warriors #Thunder
  • After being dominated by double digits late into the game, Orlando somehow lands on its feet. #Magic #Sixers
  • No doubt about it … Hawks really miss Horford and Teague. #Hawks #Hornets
  • Grady goes coast to coast, costing Denver a surprise win. #Nuggets #Rockets
  • Celtics pull out all the stops in stopping what has become the other up-and-comer in the East, the Wiz. #Wizards #Celtics
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Categories: NBA

NBA Update, Recap and Perspectives: Sunday, 3-19

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NBA Update:

  • Cleveland Slackers over LA Lakers when they decide to exert themselves just enough. Give LeBron and Kyrie tomorrow off, lest they be exhausted after an intense days’ work hoisting up shots. #Cavaliers #Lakers
  • Blazers are cooking in Miami after lots of death and destruction visited upon the Heat by killer Lillard. #TrailBlazers #Heat
  • It’s definitely too late to make a difference this year, but the Pelicans are laying the groundwork for great things to come thanks to their new can do attitude. #Pelicans #Timberwolves
  • As the Celtics find out, there’s no nixing the Sixers these days. #Celtics #Sixers
  • Dirk delivers, and there’s no Nets upset. #Mavericks #Nets
  • Spurs make Kings their pawns in a very routine victory. #Kings #Spurs
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Categories: NBA

NCAAM College Basketball Update: 3-19-17 (Round of 32)

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NCAAM College Basketball Update:

  • After spending the first half warming up, the UCLA point producers rev up the factory and pump out a very impressive finished product … nearly 80 points and only 3 turnovers … those numbers say it all, right there. #Bearcats #Bruins
  • It’s bon voyage for Coack K and the dastardly Devils at Bon Secours Wellness Arena and bon jour to the Sweet Sixteen for the very combative Gamecocks. #Gamecocks #BlueDevils
  • Baylor gets bailed out big time by spot up Motley, and Trojan dreams are refined, and confined, in Tulsa to two wins after getting in. #Trojans #Bears
  • Oregon’s somewhat sloppy performance ends up just fine because crunch time is Tyler time. #Rams #Ducks
  • Michigan’s powerful Wagner invades the paint repeatedly, and the wiinning Wolverines lay some serious graffiti all over losing Louisville. #Wolverines #Cardinals
  • Tar Heels put their foot down just in time to beat back a very pesky bunch of Razorbacks. They live to fight another day, but Carolina Blue’s path is looking a bit cloudy. #TarHeelswin
  • Bridges’ 22 wasn’t nearly enough to bridge the gap between a recently re-born, but mired in the middle of the Big 10 MSU and start to finish Big 12 elite KU. Jayhawks lay it on the Spartans with a whole lotta Josh Jackson. #Spartans #Jayhawks
  • Kentucky bides its time, and then rides to victory on the strength of its thoroughbreds. Meanwhile, another near miss for the shell shocked Shockers. #Shockers #Wildcats
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NBA Update, Recap and Perspectives: Saturday, 3-18 (Liberace version)

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NBA Update:

Tonight in the NBA, we had everything but a fire in the orphanage, including —

  • Curry’s on the money very appropriately against the Bucks, but is this just a false positive result? #Warriors #Bucks
  • What’s going on with the Spurs; is there something in the closet we don’t know about? Do they think nobody is noticing this losing stuff?
  • Bulls keep stayin alive by reaching around for help from their understated bench.
  • Another case of Cleveland closing down shop a bit prematurely?
  • Portland rips into Atlanta something awful, and it isn’t even Rip City.
  • Thunder defrock the Kings and don’t even bother to thank Papa Georgios.
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Categories: NBA

NCAAM College Basketball Update: 3-18-17 (Round of 32)

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NCAAM College Basketball Update:

  • Let’s give a big shout out to Purdue, which did what it had to do in holding on in the face of a furious rally by Iowa State. Particular props to Mr. Biggie Caleb; nobody was saying move over Swanigan tonight. #Boilermakers #Cyclones
  • Virginia puts an exclamation point on what was a really crappy day for the ACC with a shockingly bad shooting performance. Yes, they were strepped of their best defender (out with a sore throat), but this year’s Cavalier contingent continues the trend of having a big problem when it comes to throwing the ball into the cylinder, not to mention the ocean. #Cavalierslose
  • Saint Mary’s and their impressive big toe Jock Landale were clearly itching for an intense fight, but over time the Wildcats found Markkanen to the Micantin which, when applied right, helped Arizona back to its footloose and fancy free winning ways. #Wildcatswin
  • Butler fiddles and diddles with Middle Tennessee St., using some stylish wheeling and dealing from Kelan Martin, and now they’re back in the Sweet 16. #BlueRaiders #Bulldogs
  • Xavier does the world a favor and puts the irresponsible, without a soul Seminoles out of their everglade ever-loving misery. #Musketeers #Seminoles
  • Give the scrappy cats from NW lots of credit for leaving everything (including their extremely angry coach) out on the floor in a tight loss to No. 1 Gonzaga; unfortunately, One thing’s for sure — the Bulldogs had better bring more composure and more of their prize winning center Przemek into battle when they confront Huggies’ Mounties in the West Regional semifinal. #Bulldogs #Wildcats
  • In-your-face West Virginia gives the Irish little room to breathe, and the result is a suffocating loss for scruffy faced Mike Brey and Notre Dame — time to grab the paper bag. #Mountaineerswin
  • Senior leadership rules the day in the battle between the big red Ws and the blue Vs, and last year’s hero Jenkins has a very deflating performance. This loss is tough medicine for a Wildcat squad that fought hard, but didn’t have the same old magic it needed to totally right the ship after yet another slow start. #Badgers #Wildcats
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NCAAM College Basketball Update: 3-17-17 (Round of 64)

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NCAAM College Basketball Update:

  • Favored SMU raises S&M to previously unseen levels of intensity against a very comfortable pack of Trojans. #Mustangs #Trojans
  • Shockers’ superior aggression and athleticism helps them overcome a bad case of tournament turnoveritis. #Shockers #Flyers
  • UCLA turns over the same old Leaf, with a dazzling scoring display making up for less-than- scintillating play on defense. #GoldenFlashes #Bruins
  • First round in the NCAA against killer Kentucky is no place for old men or for Carson and rest of the Northern Kentucky Norse. #Norse #Wildcats
  • No. 3 Miami never gets started against the green with envy Spartans, and once again we see why in March you should never ignore Izzo. #Spartans #Hurricanes
  • Physical Bearcats are simply too much KSU’s cats to handle. The stage is set for an intriguing 2nd round match up with UCLA. #Wildcats #Bearcats
  • Unlike the Greeks, the Blue Devils don’t need any trickery to sack Troy … they just need plenty of Grayson and Jayson show. #Trojans #BlueDevils
  • UC Davis gets pushed rudely out of the way by Josh J., on his way to winning the NCAA’s Dr. J impersonation competition. #Jawhawks #Aggies
  • Dowtin and the rest of the Rhode Island Rams enjoy proving their doubters and detractors wrong against the more highly regarded Bluejays. #Rams #BlueJays
  • Even without their biggest bouncer Boucher, Iona didn’t seem to have an iota of a chance against Oregon. #Gaels #Ducks
  • The flagrant foul which benefited Barford and sunk the Pirates was a flagrant injustice, at least as far as my bracket was concerned. #Razorbacks #Pirates
  • Baylor’s without-a-care Bears do their nails and crush the Aggies from Las Cruces. #Aggies #Bears
  • Cowboys get shown the door by Michigan’s men in a truly over-the-top offensive extravaganza. #Cowboys #Wolverines
  • Cocky South Carolina was none too impressed with Wojciechowski and heavily promoted Marquette. #GoldenEagles #Gamecocks
  • UNC sharpens its claws on the TSU Tigers, and readies for a follow up plunge into the Razorbacks. #Tigers #TarHeels
  • Try as they might, the Gamecocks couldn’t quite take flight against the Cardinals. #Gamecocks #Cardinals
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NBA Update, Recap and Perspectives: Thursday, 3-16

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NBA Update:

  • Warriors take out their Thompson gun and shoot up the Magic, riddling them into submission with threes. #Magic #Warriors
  • Yes, the Clips were a bit “short-handed” tonight, without Blake and DeAndre, but so was Denver, and that’s no excuse for lazy rebounding and poor defense. #Clippers #Nuggets
  • Another feel good game in what has been a painful memory of a season for the Knicks. #Nets #Knicks
  • Sonic is coming out with a super 6-patty burger called the Russell triple-double. It’s being ordered up seemingly every night that the former Super Sonics play. #Thunder #Raptors
  • This game would seem to indicate that the Jazz are not ready to move on up to the Penthouse level. #Jazz #Cavaliers
  • Another example of an Atlanta team not being like a dollar, and good for 4 quarters…. #Hawks #Grizzlies

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Categories: NBA

NCAAM College Basketball Update: 3-16-17 (Round of 64)

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NCAAM College Basketball Update:

  • As ChabDognosticated, Turgeon’s turtles were the ones who blew it, while Bluiett’s Musketeers broke into cheers. #Terrapins #Musketeers
  • Nova overtakes a Mount St. Mary’s squad that started like a house on fire but didn’t say enough Hail Mary’s. #Mountaineers #Wildcats
  • Wildcatters strike oil, when Fisher-Davis goes fishing for a foul and the lead that Vandy built in the last few seconds vanished into the thin air of Salt Lake City. This is what happens when you don’t have any timeouts for 7 minutes. #Commodores #Wildcats
  • The Blue Raiders from Murfreesboro were hear to yell “Gopher, freeze”, making Kermit the coach very proud. #BlueRaiders #Gophers
  • The Fighting Irish can certainly thank their lucky stars tonight — this game was completely winnable for Princeton, and does not bode well for the Domers down the line. #Tigers #FightingIrish
  • It took a little longer than expected, but UVa finally realized that if we can beat UNC, we can certainly beat UNCW. #Seahawks #Cavaliers
  • For a while at least the Jackrabbits were able to coast along in the Gonzaga drag, but eventually the Zags regained their well known swag. #Zags #Jackrabbits
  • As usual, watching the often chaotic, and almost always disjointed, West Virginia offense was nothing more than an annoying eyesore, but Bucknell just couldn’t buck today’s trend of the favorites winning. #Mountaineers #Bison
  • After drinking their Gatorade, the Gaters really picked up their gait in the 2nd half and played great. #Buccaneers #Gators
  • The Blue Raiders from Murfreesboro were hear to yell “Gopher, freeze”, making Kermit the coach very proud. #BlueRaiders #Gophers
  • Bronson and Nigel have their special senior moments in the sun, as Badgers smoke the Hokies. #Hokies #Badgers
  • Cyclones use their acrobatic athleticism and speed to twist and blow by the slacker Wolf Pack. #WolfPack #Cyclones
  • Underachiever FSU futzes around but finally puts down the eager beaver Eagles. #Eagles #Seminoles
  • Without their star player on the inside, the gallant Catamounts looked about as fierce as Mike Tyson’s tiger after about 10 boilermakers. #Catamounts #Boilermakers
  • All the other Wildcats won today, so why should anything be different for perhaps the most fearsome ones of them all … Arizona’s. #Hawks #Wildcats
  • In the game today that most resembled a reunion of Pilgrims, things got pretty grim for those of the Winthrop variety. #Bulldogs #Eagles
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NHL Update, Recap and Perspectives: Wednesday, 3-15

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NHL Update:

  • Where would the Duckies be if not for all goals racked up by Dicky Rakell? #Ducks #Blue
  • Avalanche had the best of both world tonight, as Compher made them comfortable on offense, and Pickard picked all the pucks from in front of the net. #Avalanche #RedWings
  • Penguins wobble home, after getting spanked and blanked by the Flyers. Time to gear up for the stretch run, if they intend to wrest home ice away the Caps. #Penguins #Capitals
  • Pastrnak sprays two goals, and Bradley rubs Flames retardant all over the Saddledome. #Bruins #Flames
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Categories: NHL

NBA Update, Recap and Perspectives: Wednesday, 3-15

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NBA Update:

  • Was Damian’s point explosion an omen of bad things to come for the Spurs? They’ll need better defense from their guards, and much more from Ginobli. #Spurs #Trailblazers
  • Jazz looked pretty snazzy tonight, that’s for sure!
  • A bit of head/face trauma is no tragedy for Dragic, and the Heat continue inexorable and improbable trek toward the top 8. #Heat #Pelicans
  • In a game that might have otherwise gone down as Dirk’s last stand, Mavericks muster up enough firepower to fluster the Wizards. #Wizards #Mavericks
  • Perhaps the Grizzlies have one more good run left this year, but today they just sauntered down that hill and @#$@@#$@’d all the Bulls. #Grizzlies #Bulls
  • Suddenly sweet Lou Williams gets some sweet payback against the listless Lakers. #Lakers #Rockets
  • I’m sold. The Celtics are for real, baby!
  • Hey there Georgie Boy, you’re the reason the Pacers were speeding down the road tonight so fancy free. #Hornets #Pacers
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Categories: NBA

NBA Update, Recap and Perspectives: Tuesday, 3-14

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NBA Update:

  • Dubs nearly flub it up again … this time against the Sixer scrubs … but in the end a much anticipated Curry flurry saves the day. #Warriors #Sixers
  • In New Orleans, the Blazers go down in something much less than a blaze of glory, as McCollum is missing in action and Nurkic is a near no-show. #TrailBlazers #Pelicans
  • Knick pride rears its rarely seen head, and Pacers lose a valuable chance to create some space in the playoff picture. #Pacers #Knicks
  • Westy and orange whips up another triple double for everyone’s favorite whipping boys. #Thunder #Nets
  • Studious Cleveland seemed to have gone to school from the last meeting with the Pistons on March 9 and their shooters erupt like Mount Vesuvius. #Cavaliers #Pistons
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Categories: NBA

NHL Update, Recap and Perspectives: Tuesday, 3-14

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NHL Update:

  • Sharks chomp the Sabres, and seem suitably primed for a concerted post-season push. #Sharks #Sabres
  • As most WashingtOnians would nO doubt agree, until today’s win it had been way too long since the Caps had showed their O-face …. in the form of an outstanding Ovechkin, Orlov, Orpik and Oshie. #Capitals #Wild
  • If this Coyote ugly loss doesn’t kill the playoff talk in LA, what will? #Kings #Coyotes
  • In what was a very lopsided fight, clumsy Stars club didn’t even make decent sparring partners for the fluid Oilers. #Oilers #Stars
  • Sens convene a special session in Ottawa to unplug the flickering Lightning, but Hedman was just one skate ahead of them all night. #Senators #Lightning
  • Blackhawks rise to the occasion behind bread man Panarin. #Blackhawks #Canadiens
  • What a surprise — Hurricanes blow another one, and Islanders remain firmly entrenched in Wild Card wonderland. #Hurricanes #Islanders
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Categories: NHL

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