Because sports should never run your life ... retorts for sports

NHL Update, Recap and Perspectives: Monday, 3-13

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NHL Update:

  • Marchand really did wave his magic wand tonight, and it brought back a lot of bad memories for the ugly duck Canucks. #Bruins #Canucks
  • Boisterous Blues make quick work of Quick. #Blues #Kings
  • Goalie Smith with the common name, has an uncommonly good game. #Avalanche #Avalanche
  • Predators with a Finn ground the Jets. #Predators #Jets
  • In a contest involving two teams going absolutely nowhere, the Hurricanes shipwreck the Islanders. #Hurricanes #Islanders
  • Fly boys make a fatal mistake and forget to wear their flack jackets against the Jackets. #Flyers #BlueJackets
  • Was this victory a Point or two in the right direction for the disoriented Lightning? It sure as hell better be, since Tampa Bay certainly has lost its way. #Lightning #Rangers
  • It’s the Flame thing over and over and over again … Calgary’s cavalry continues to charge with conviction, certainty and with the intensity of an out of control brush fire from unknown origin. #Flames #Penguins
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Categories: NHL

NBA Update, Recap and Perspectives: Monday, 3-13

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NBA Update:

  • Jokic would be the first to admit it … the Laker defense … what a total joke. Are you serious if you tell me that the son of Bill Walton can’t do better than this? #Lakers #Nuggets
  • Heartless Utah uglies the mood of the fragile Clippers, relying largely on their capitalizing pig of a producer Gordo the Gecko Hayward. #Jazz #Clippers
  • Towns completely went to town, Rubio really rubbed salt in their wounds, but don’t forget the relatively devastating blows delivered by manly Nemanja. #Wizards #Timberwolves
  • Are the Spurs kind of like the New England Patriots of basketball? Guys like Danny Green, and perhaps more surprisingly, David Lee, find their role and work their parts in Gregg’s grand scheme with increasing precision. #Spurs #Hawks
  • Mavs minus Matthews is not a pretty sight. #Mavericks #Raptors
  • It’s about time Fred stopped farting around and let the guard with the big hands and the short attention span give the blase Bulls a hand. #Bulls #Hornets
  • Vincesane result as it takes a grizzled old veteran like Carter to wake the Grizzlies up against the young Bucks. #Bucks #Grizzlies
  • Until tonight, it appeared clear that the Kings were worse without Cousins, than the Pelicans were better with him. Collison and Tolliver are trying to change that impression. #Magic #Kings
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Categories: NBA

NBA Update, Recap and Perspectives: Sunday, 3-12

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NBA Update:

  • From a draft pick standpoint, Sixers shoot themselves in the foot against el stinko Lakers. #Sixers #Lakers
  • Nice win for Indiana, as General George steps in to extinguish Heat advance. #Heat #Pacers
  • Barroom brawl at Barclays goes the way of the left for dead Nets. Knicks seal their doom with a crappy effort on the boards … so what else is new for the New Yorkers. #Knicks #Nets
  • More evidence that Cleveland may not be able to flip the switch this year; Harden comes up with a triple double, and LeBron is left to struts his stuff in vain. Simply put, the Cavs supporting cast continues to come up just a little bit short. #Cavalies #Rockets
  • More evidence that Cleveland may not be able to flip the switch this year; Harden comes up with a triple double, and LeBron is left to struts his stuff in vain. Simply put, the Cavs supporting cast continues to come up just a little bit short. #Cavalies #Rockets
  • Celts look mighty svelte in putting away the bogus Bulls with maximum efficiency. #Celtics #Bulls
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Categories: NBA

NHL Update, Recap and Perspectives: Sunday, 3-12

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NHL Update:

  • Pummeling from Pavelski and the Sharks brings to the fore the stark reality for the Stars that they are going on vacation very soon. #Sharks #Stars
  • Don’t the backpedaling Caps know their collapse is supposed to begin when the playoffs start, … and not before? Somebody in Washington missed the memo. #Ducks #Caps
  • Canadiens happily waive bye-bye to the Oilers after third quarter points explosion by Byron. #Canadiens #Oilers
  • If you want to find hot Wings, better not look for them in Detroit. It’s getting ugly in Hockeytown. #Rangers #RedWings
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Categories: NHL

NCAAM College Basketball Update: 3-12-17

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NCAAM College Basketball Update:

  • Xavier could be laughing all the way to the 2nd round as they ace a MD team that has backed into this tournament in the worst way.
  • Other first round upset specials with potential — Middle Tennessee St., Marquette, VCU, Wichita St., Vandy and Rhode Island

And here’s how ChabDog sees the road to the sweet 16 shaking out … region by region:

  • East — Duke looks like a strong bet to get to get through, but watch out for SMU, which has athletic ability and size to boot. UVA should be able to slip by Florida, though their lack of scoring ability has to be a concern. Nova should be more than capable of skinning the overrated Badgers, who haven’t looked like world beaters of late.
  • West — Gonzaga certainly has the firepower to overwhelm the competition in the first two rounds, though Vandy may make it interesting (after they put away NW). Experienced and ACC-battle tested Notre Dame should be able negotiate a couple of wins, including getting by a hard pressed West Virginia squad that seems to rely on chaos to create its victories. Meanwhile, reckless Florida St. probably has too much talent to lose to either Xavier or MD, and prohibitive favorite AZ should have no problem with the common folk from VCU.
  •  Midwest — Kansas may well get the scare of its life (which this year is nothing new) from mischievous Miami, but should survive to meet their makers … the dark horse Boilermakers; as for Purdue, they should be able to use their size and strength to stomp on Big 12 tourney champ Iowa St. Without their star, Oregon should have enough left to stick around for a battle with Louisville, though Michigan will likely give Pitino’s pack a run for their money.
  •  South — North Carolina is too big and too belligerent to let puny Seton Hall stand in its way, while Butler should escape to live another day against Middle Tennessee St. Alford’s Bruins have the weapons to devastate Wake Forest, and should find themselves with a marquis Sweet Sixteen date with Coach Cal; however, Wichita St. will have something to say about that, and it will be noisy.
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NCAAM College Basketball Update: 3-11-17

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NCAAM College Basketball Update:

  • Congrats to the Yale Bulldogs, who are on the precipice of an NCAA berth after stopping Harvard in the Ivy League tournament semis. But they’ll need to concentrate better from the line if they hope to punch their ticket — 14 for 25 just won’t get it done against the geniuses from the Garden State. #Bulldogs #Crimson
  • Mountaineers fails in their efforts to successfully circle the wagons against the psyched up Cyclones. Huggy can yell and scream foul at the officials all he wants, but the fact is his team looked a bit worn out and lost in the moment. In any case, don’t look for the Big 12 to place anyone in the Final Four. This has been a down year. #Cyclones #Mountaineers
  • Big red Ws bury the weary Wildcats, who apparently did too much post-Terrapin celebratin. #Badgers #Wildcats
  • Duke looks pretty much perfectly primed for an extended title run, after traversing the daunting gauntlet that is the ACC tournament. #BlueDevils #FightingIrish
  • After a 31-3 season, as well as this Hart-rending ending, Villanova looks like a more than worthy defender of its title … but does this team have the moxie and mojo that least year’s bunch showed? Does anyone really know? #Wildcats #Bluejays
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NHL Update, Recap and Perspectives: Saturday, 3-11

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NHL Update:

  • Bruins rack up another big win behind Pastrnak and Rask. #Bruins #Flyers
  • Islanders get swallowed up by the gaping Tarasinkhole. #Blues #Islanders
  • Sens roll easily over Avalanche after a somewhat rocky start. #Senators #Avalanche
  • Combustible Flames blow up the Jets, who need a serious equipment overhaul. #Flames #Jets
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Categories: NHL

NBA Update, Recap and Perspectives: Saturday, 3-11

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NBA Update:

  • For those who paid for this game, it was quite a sham the way the Warriors gave this one away so shamelessly. This debacle will come back to haunt them, come playoff time.  At least the Spurs didn’t have any trouble manning up, with Manu and plenty more. #Warriors #Spurs
  • Circling Hawks drive embattled Grizz to the edge of relevance. #Hawks #Grizzlies
  • Lately, the obstinate Bucks have really lived up to their name … always being good for four quarters. #Timberwolves #Bucks
  • Playoffs nearly within reach in South Beach … an amazing recovery led by Dion the wanderer. #Raptors #Heat
  • Tobias is starting to spell serious trouble for Piston opponents. #Knicks #Pistons
  • Relieved Clippers must surely have some wounded pride, after letting the Sixers hang with them stride for stride for most of the ride. #Sixers #Clippers
  • Westbrook orchestrates another masterpiece against the bedazzled Jazz. #Jazz #Thunder
  • AD stood for authoritarian dunks in tonight’s conquest of Charlotte. #Pelicans #Hornets
  • Wall of fame stands solid in huge OT win at Portland; this Wizard team has more than characters… it has character. #Wizards #Trailblazers
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Categories: NBA

NCAAM College Basketball Update: 3-10-17

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NCAAM College Basketball Update:

  • Too little, too late for FSU against Notre Dame. #FightingIrish #Seminoles
  • As ChabDognosticated to the hilt, Maryland is the first one in this game to wilt. Look out for the Wildcats to strike oil a few more times before March 2017 is over…. #Wildcats #Terrapins
  • We’re getting pretty well SMUsed to the same old results in the AAC. #Mustangs #Pirates
  • Skilled Vandy looked dandy in OT, leaving much to LaChance. #Commodores #Gators
  • Asking the Tar Heels to win one more intense game against their hated in-state rivals … for no apparent reason … was simply too much to ask. Now Roy’s boys get some much desired rest before they really need to play their best. #BlueDevils #TarHeels
  • Cyclones whirl by the depleted Frogs, who clearly seemed to have shot their collective wad against big shot Kansas. #HornedFrogs #Cyclones
  • Nova scrounges up its Hall pass by remaining a Hart apart. #Pirates #Wildcats
  • Kentucky does the fox trot in getting by the lumbering Bulldogs. #Bulldogs #Wildcats
  • Sometimes it pays to be hungry like a Wolverine. #Wolverines #Boilermakers
  • The trendy Bruins — the very much in demand and fashionable pick to go the distance — get rudely upended in the Pac-12 tourney by absolutely dominant Arizona. #Bruins #Wildcats
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NBA Update, Recap and Perspectives: Friday, 3-10

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NBA Update:

  • Chicago gets afflicted with a nasty case of Mad Cow disease and gets hanged, drawn and quartered in the third. #Rockets #Bulls
  • Is it panic time in GSW, as Curry is starting look less like the ice cold three point killer, and more like a poor man’s James Harden? There’s lately been a look of desperation for the Dubs, who don’t tend to fare so well when Steph’s missed to make ratio (10-27 tonight) starts to swell. #Warriors #Timberwolves
  • Things with the Mavs have come together great, but doesn’t Cuban fear that this year may just end up being a classic case of too little, too late. #Nets #Mavericks
  • Toronto continues to be Toribly inconsistent and Toribly boring to watch as well. #Raptors #Hawks
  • Back up the moving truck for the Bucks…. because with this huge amount of young talent, they’re movin on up…#Pacers #Bucks
  • Celts needed more than a few snarfs of oxygen, looking all fagged out in the high altitudes of Denver and coming off their very emotional win the night before. #Celtics #Nuggets
  • No comment warranted or possible in this contest between Eastern Conference plebeians. #Magic #Hornets
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Categories: NBA

NHL Update, Recap and Perspectives: Friday, 3-10

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NHL Update:

  • Pens waddle just a little too fast for the toiling Oilers, thanks to being Philled up with a health diet of Special K. #Penguins #Oilers
  • Games like this explain why Boone is a virtual lock for being the next Jenner on the Wheaties box. #BlueJackets #Sabres
  • Red Wings still pack enough for a Chicago sting operation that was well-received in Detroit. #RedWings #Blackhawks
  • Scoring paradise for Parise and the Wild. #Wild #Panthers
  • Seesawing St. Louis seems to have finally stabilized, and picks up valuable ground on the stuck-in-the-muck Ducks. #Blues #Ducks
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Categories: NHL

NCAAM College Basketball Update: 3-9-17

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NCAAM College Basketball Update:

  • Surprise, surprise … Louisville gets tripped up by Allen and Assoicates; slick Rick now has time to rest before his next cameo appearance. #Cardinals #Devils
  • Ducks drench the Sun Devils with a flood of 2nd half points. #SunDevils #Ducks
  • Jayhawks go on vacation from further puttering around in the totally meaningless Big 12 tournament; that being said, this unceremonious exit must make bracketologists queasy, if not downright uneasy, about bestowing on Kansas a No. 1 seed. And lack of momentum coming into the big dance has been a persistent problem in Lawrence more times than Kansans care to remember. #Jayhawks #HornedFrogs
  • No surprises from juggernauts Nova and North Carolina. #Wildcats #TarHeels
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NHL Update, Recap and Perspectives: Thursday, 3-9

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NHL Update:

  • Another Devil dog of a day in Denver for New Jersey’s nebbishes. #Devils #Avalanche
  • Iginla ignites the Kings. #Kings #Predators
  • Gaudreau and the rapidly advancing Flames gouge the Habs for three in the 2nd. #Flames #Canadiens
  • After today’s result, hey’re starting to worry in Washington that Couture powerful play could lead to a culture of losing for the previously happy Caps. #Capitals #Sharks
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Categories: NHL

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