OUR LATEST SHOW” – now featuring on ChabDog Sports Talk ®
See things others don’t!
Join ChabDog, Well Read, Abe, Dorothy & Aaron for sports talk Saturdays 4:00 PM Pac to 5 PM LIVE HERE!
LAW OFFICE OF
BRANDON S. CHABNER
News Feed
- As ChabDognoticated, it’s KC by 1.5 against the fierce Eagles.
- Just ask Washington… the truth hurts… No. 1 and his friends are definitely No. 1 in the NFC. Let’s see who is the prey and who is the predator in two weeks. As ChabDognoticated, it’s KC by 1.5 against the fierce Eagles.
- Dalton’s drop makes much of America sicker than the sickest man in America. .. as did the blown call on 4th and inches, but then again you know you have only yourself to blame when you need the ball back, and the game’s Patrick’s to cinch.
Getting hungry for more ChabDog Sports Talk?
We know you are, so we’re obliging with the sinfully delicious “2nd Annual, Sinner, Sinner, Pollo Parm Dinner” Show.
Yeah, we’ll cover the potentialities presented by Sunday’s Conference Championships…
Sure, it looks like we could have the usual red and yellow representatives as the “Refs’ Prefs” host
hard luck Buffalo at home. But weirder things have happened, and the Bills look as qualified as ever to move on
to their god-given destination. And speaking of red and yellow, what about those cardiac Commanders, who recently fed
the Lions to the lions, and know are in prime position to mount and stuff the favored Eagles. Is the 5 and then something spread
really justified, or is that proposition purely for the birds.
But our show goes much farther than a down and dirty playdate in the pigskin mosh pit. There’s also the first tennis major to be decided,
as an overgrown Carrot Top, with unusually big sneaks and a bit of a bowlegged gait, looks to repeat as Men’s winner… time to throw another title on the barbie mate?
For the Women, a first Major title for US’s favorite daughter Madison Keys, please?
Tune in tomorrow, with ChabDog, Well-read, Abe, A-ron and any comedic clips we can borrow (I think we’ve got some film noir and “W” from Oliver Stone on tap).
It’s been a tumultuous week at the AO, with Gael force winds putting Fritz on the fritz, and we hear the storm building on this weeks “CDST: Uekeranian Eulogy, Thunder Down Under” Show. Yeah we’ll discuss this week’s playoffs game, the weak prospects for the Texans standing tall, wherther the Eagles stay out of harm’s way against McStan’s Macvay, when Big Dan can eclipse Dan Quinn, and the Ravens-Bills thrillshow. But we’ll make sure you cast your ears on the sweet sound of Dan-yell Collins. And if we have some time left over, we may ponder the possibilities: Jeff Feagles as an Eagle (not a Giant), Haven Moses as a Raven, not a Bills. Bill Belichick as a Bill and not a Heel.
- After an unfortunate trip to the M&T doctor’s office, it’s clear what the Steelers need … A TOMLIN-ECTOMY!
- If Harbaugh wasn’t seen limping out of Houston sans a broken clipboard, he should have been. Maybe it’s about time we say the Anger Mis-management side of jovial Jim.
- Jayden Daniels was simply relentless, and the Commanders just had too much staying power for the physically and emotionally exhausted Bucs. In another almost unbelievable twist of fate, this game took a couple of fateful turns for the worse for the home team when stone-hands Mayfield mishandled a couple of routine snaps. With that, the wildly erratic season for Tampa finally… abated.
- Eagles manufacture a thorough, if not brutally blunt, undressing of the Packers in cold Philly. Yeah, this result was no doubt painful due to the weather, but it was time through cold water on a season that really seemed to go fatally south a few weeks earlier in Minnesota.
- Major home improvement this week for the Bills, as Josh Allen takes the Broncos very figuratively by the horns and pins them to the turf, without mercy. Ravens beware….
In a few hours, it’s gonna be the start of Wild Card Weekend, and things’ll be getting hot and heavy in the NFL Playoffs. Who’s about to become extinct and who’s putting their feet down with maximum authority…. we’ll banter the subject, and plenty more, on the “The Other Cleat Just Spiked Your Meat” CDST Show. Is Mike Tomlin about to take that Steeler 4-wheeler carreening down Lookout Mountain for another sadistic spill? Can Sam Darnold get the hawk tuah girl off his mind, long enough for the Vikings to stage a real fun desert funeral for the sacrificial Rams. We ponder this and other questions that have been left curiously unanswered for far too long…. like how our own Abe Miranda conquered Barb-fire in the spread pool, and why Karen “Big Mouth” Bass had so little to say at her recent press conference. And time permitting, there’s the college football BS (sorry BCS) finale to consider; ChabDog hasn’t checked, but perhaps making Notre Dame a 5 point dog (is that right?) is just what the joint doctor ordered in South Bend.
Thanks to a thrilling turn of events in the 2nd half, we’ll be hearing more from the Notre Dame Victory March in January! Terrific win for the never-say-die Fighting Irish, who kept on fighting and out-slugged a very game squad from Penn St. Ara is certaining looking down from Heaven and smiling as the Freeman era has officially begun.
HE’S LARGER THAN LIFE. HE’S THE KARMAC OF THE LAUGH TRACK.
HE’S HONESTLY OUT THERE FOR YOU, FINDING THE WEAK LINK IN EVERY SPREAD.
HE’S THE CHABDOG SPORTS TALK NFL SPREAD SETTING CHAMPION FOR 2024,
COMING IN AT AROUND 60%+ AND ABLE LEAP FROG THE MIGHTY DOROTHY D
IN A SINGLE BOUND.
HE’S POUND FOR POUND THE SUPER HEAVYWEIGHT OF ALL LINE LAYERS.
HE’S ABE PAGODA MIRANDA, AND HE’S OUR NO. 1 FOR THE 2ND TIME IN FOUR YEARS.
One of these two (or maybe both) won the 2024 CDST Spread-besting competition. You both beat the stuffing outta me, so I am not worthy, …. can only seek to follow humbly in your footsteps…. stay tuned for our corporate secretary Well-read’s breakdown of how it ultimately played out. All I know if I achieved my objective of beating last year’s performance in terms of the numbies and staying outta the dreaded whine cellar.
Our Sponsors
ChabDog Merch Store
Move Over MLB
Join The Fun!
Frank The Tank
Thank you!
Law Offices of Brandon S. Chabner
Brandon’s Posts
Sizing up Wild Card Sunday and set up Saturday:
- After an unfortunate trip to the M&T doctor’s office, it’s clear what the Steelers need … A TOMLIN-ECTOMY!
- If Harbaugh wasn’t seen limping out of Houston sans a broken clipboard, he should have been. Maybe it’s about time we say the Anger Mis-management side of jovial Jim.
- Jayden Daniels was simply relentless, and the Commanders just had too much staying power for the physically and emotionally exhausted Bucs. In another almost unbelievable twist of fate, this game took a couple of fateful turns for the worse for the home team when stone-hands Mayfield mishandled a couple of routine snaps. With that, the wildly erratic season for Tampa finally… abated.
- Eagles manufacture a thorough, if not brutally blunt, undressing of the Packers in cold Philly. Yeah, this result was no doubt painful due to the weather, but it was time through cold water on a season that really seemed to go fatally south a few weeks earlier in Minnesota.
- Major home improvement this week for the Bills, as Josh Allen takes the Broncos very figuratively by the horns and pins them to the turf, without mercy. Ravens beware….
Make your violent playoff Saturday complete with the “The Other Cleat Just Spiked Your Meat” CDST Show…
In a few hours, it’s gonna be the start of Wild Card Weekend, and things’ll be getting hot and heavy in the NFL Playoffs. Who’s about to become extinct and who’s putting their feet down with maximum authority…. we’ll banter the subject, and plenty more, on the “The Other Cleat Just Spiked Your Meat” CDST Show. Is Mike Tomlin about to take that Steeler 4-wheeler carreening down Lookout Mountain for another sadistic spill? Can Sam Darnold get the hawk tuah girl off his mind, long enough for the Vikings to stage a real fun desert funeral for the sacrificial Rams. We ponder this and other questions that have been left curiously unanswered for far too long…. like how our own Abe Miranda conquered Barb-fire in the spread pool, and why Karen “Big Mouth” Bass had so little to say at her recent press conference. And time permitting, there’s the college football BS (sorry BCS) finale to consider; ChabDog hasn’t checked, but perhaps making Notre Dame a 5 point dog (is that right?) is just what the joint doctor ordered in South Bend.
Well Read’s Posts
Abe’s Posts
Week 13: Abe’s Scrumdidilyumptious Turkey Picks (ATS)
Happy Thanksgiving to all of you! I am currently writing this from a cruise ship currently approaching Dominica in the West Indies. An amazing way to spend Thanksgiving away from the stress of absolutely everything. I’m sure my entire family hates me right now for being here and not them. I have a port excursion today to do a million awesome things but we do have good great TV here on the ship and hope to catch a few games. With that…LFG.
TURKEY DAY
LIONS -10.5 – Sounds like a huge spread until the Lions beat the Bears by at least 2 touchdowns.
COWBOYS -3.5 – Honestly both teams should lose here.
PACKERS -3.5 – Nothing screams Greenbay like 25 degrees and some cheese! I’m from LA…so fuck that!
FRIDAY
CHIEFS -13.5 – The Raiders are simply fucked. Does anyone even know who their QB is for this game since Gardner Minshew is out for the rest of the season???? Yes, it’s Aidan O’Connell who is coming back from a broken thumb! GO HIDE IN A CASINO VEGAS CAUSE IT IS GOING TO BE A CATASTROPHE!
SUNDAY
CHARGERS -1.5
STEELERS +2.5
VIKINGS -3.5
PATRIOTS +2.5
SEAHAWKS -1.5
COMMANDERS -5.5
TEXANS -5.5
RAMS -2.5
BUCCANEERS -6.5
EAGLES +2.5
BILLS -6.5
MONDAY
BROWNS +5.5
| | @gawdbrudder
Week 12: Abe’s Scrumdidilyumptious NFL Picks (ATS)
Hey everyone & welcome back to my kick-ass blog where I make 58% accurate picks Against The Spread (ATS) for free while proving that I’m a better choice than literally flipping a quarter (also tied for first amongst everyone at ChabDog Sports Talk)! Below is my SZN breakdown:
WEEK 1: 10/16 (62.5%) WEEK 2: 8/15 + 1 Push (53.3%) WEEK 3: 8/16 (50%) WEEK 4: 9/16 (56%) WEEK 5: 7/14 (50%) WEEK 6: 10/14 (71%) WEEK 7: 9/15 (60%) WEEK 8: 10/16 (63%) WEEK 9: 9/15 (60%) WEEK 10: 7/14 (50%) WEEK 11: 9/14 SEASON RECORD (ATS): 96/165 + 1 Push (58%)
THURSDAY NIGHT FOOTBALL:
I texted our producer and told him I was “taking the chalk” (favored team) and going with the Steelers (-3.5) against the Browns. Of course, Mother Nature had to dump an ass-ton of snow and prove to everyone that snow + using multiple QBs was the Steelers’ kryptonite. Proof once again…that football isn’t always predictable no matter how favored you think a team is. The good news is that it only happens to me 42% of the time! With that being said, let’s take a look at the rest of my Week 12 picks for your entertainment.
| | @gawdbrudder
Dorothy’s Posts
Aaron’s Posts
Aaron Week 9 NFL Picks
Welcome to spoooooooky season! Wait, it’s been spooky season for a while? I haven’t noticed because my betting record has been spookier than even the creepiest ghouls, goblins, and Jets fans. But last week I went 10-6! Finally, winning has returned to this column. The climb back to .500 continues into November!
Houston -0.5 at NY Jets
Fading the Jets has been a key point in my turnaround, so we are not stopping now, even though the line is BEGGING me to take Jets. I refuse despite the injuries to Nico Collins and Stefon Diggs for Houston. The Texans proved two weeks ago at Green Bay that they could cover the spread without much of passing game. In that one, they lost to the Packers in the final seconds with just 86 passing yards from C.J. Stroud.
Dallas +2.5 at Atlanta
A Cowboys loss would drop them to 3-5, and they have been way too consistent over the past few years to have that kind of record. If the Dallas offense performs the way it did during its wild comeback attempt at San Francisco, they could win by a couple of scores. If not, I like the points in a game that could come down to the wire.
Miami +6.5 at Buffalo
It has been unseasonably warm in the Northeast lately, so the Dolphins shouldn’t be too chilly in Buffalo. Tua Tagovailoa’s first game back from his concussion was a disaster, but not because of the offense. Miami should score enough to cover.
Yankees Try to Continue Comeback While Knicks Must Beat Heat
It has been a rough week for New York sports. At least Yankees fans got to see their team bounce back and show some life in an 11-4 spanking of the Dodgers. Now those Yankees fans get to pretend that they had their team’s back the whole way when in reality they were all saying that the World Series was over after Game 3. Don’t they know what happens to the Dodgers in a bullpen game? Dave Roberts should know, but he keeps using the dumb strategy anyway.
I was rooting for the Yankees to get embarrassed, so I am stuck with trying to get joy out of the Knicks and Rangers. That shouldn’t be too hard given that the Rangers are a wagon and the Knicks are expected to compete for the top spot in the Eastern Conference, but the Knicks are off to a 1-2 start and the Rangers just lost to the Capitals in a game that saw seven goals scored in the first 25 minutes of play. I turned the game on midway through the second period with the Caps leading 4-3. I figured that the Blueshirts were due for a comeback since they score around five goals per game, but instead neither team put the puck in the net until Washington got an empty-net goal in the final minute.
What an effort from Pro here pic.twitter.com/gvQwcccJym
— Washington Capitals (@Capitals) October 30, 2024
Many fans don’t even want the Rangers to win during the regular season because of the “curse” on the Presidents’ Trophy, but I am greedy and want the Rangers to be the team to break the curse. Gotta beat the Caps to do that, and you can’t beat the Caps when you’re beating outshot 46-19. Rangers need to rebound against Ottawa at home on Friday.
As for the Knicks, they looked like they were in control for much of the night against Cleveland, but then Darius Garland decided to stop missing field goals. He scored 15 of the his 34 points in the fourth quarter, and Cleveland outscored New York by 10 in the period to win 110-104.
Darius Garland is HOT in the 4Q 👀
13 PTS in the quarter… 32 for the game!
Cavs lead the Knicks by 3 with under 2 to play on NBA League Pass ⤵️ https://t.co/CDp6cvpg0Y pic.twitter.com/qsCOEhOeTw
— NBA (@NBA) October 29, 2024
The Knicks seem to have all the tools to make a run at the NBA Finals following the trade for Karl-Anthony Towns. Him and Jalen Brunson should form an inside-outside combo that is impossible to guard while Mikal Bridges and OG Anunoby lock down the perimeter on defense. That is the theory, but it is not playing out on the court so far because KAT is so passive and loves settling for 25-foot jumpers. He scored just 13 points in 32 minutes in Monday night’s loss while Brunson shot 8-for-24. The Knicks need more from those guys when Garland is shooting lights out. New York hits the road tonight with a game in Miami, and it is as must-win as it gets in October.
Speaking of tonight, the Yankees will try to continue their World Series comeback with Gerrit Cole on the mound against Jack Flaherty and the Dodgers. Last night, a lot of fans got bent out of shape when a Yankees fan ripped a foul ball out of Mookie Betts’ glove.
"Well, A for effort."
Fan interference was called on this play where a Yankee fan tried to take the ball out of Mookie Betts' glove after an out. pic.twitter.com/iZ6taImncd
— FOX Sports: MLB (@MLBONFOX) October 30, 2024
Who says there’s no home field advantage in baseball?! Sure, it’s a bit of a security issue that fans are manhandling one of the top players in the game. MLB should kick those goons out of Yankee Stadium for the rest of the World Series and let them watch at Billy’s, where they can bathe in adoration and fame. If I was a Yankees fan, I would love that these guys are making the Dodgers a little uncomfortable after the Bombers rolled over for them three games in a row.
Instead of giving the Yankees fans credit for taking matters into their own hands, some Mets fans in my Twitter feed decided that their behavior was an example of society’s downfall.
Steve Bartman's life was ruined over something far less egregious than what those Yankee fans did and those dregs of society are being treated like heroes. I feel like this is another manifestation of society being cooked and antisocial behavior just being acceptable now.
— Allison McCague, PhD 🧬⚾️ (@PetitePhD) October 30, 2024
Yeah, it’s definitely the times we live in that are the big difference between Bartman and the Yankees fans. It’s certainly not that Bartman accidentally took an out away from his own team at a critical juncture in the game. I’m very confident that if Bartman had taken an out away from the Marlins and allowed the Cubs to rally and win the pennant, he would be remembered a LITTLE differently. Likewise, if the Yankees fans had taken the ball out of Juan Soto’s glove? I’m not sure they make it out of the Stadium alive.
I’m still rooting for the Dodgers because I cannot stand Yankees fans and I cannot stand being a second-class citizen Mets fan. At least if the Yankees pull this off, it will drive some of the haters and losers insane along with me.
Aaron’s Week 8 NFL Picks
I was doing very well last week up until Monday Night Football. The Pittsburgh lock worked out well thanks to the Jets’ continued incompetence and Washington predictably destroyed Carolina despite the injury to Jayden Daniels that will torpedo my fantasy football season. My card was looking really good when Tampa Bay jumped out to an early lead on Baltimore, but then Lamar Jackson ruined all the fun and Baker Mayfield threw a pair of mind-numbing interceptions to help him out. In the ESPN+ game that no one watched, the Chargers failed to reach the end zone and lost to the Cardinals while Cameron Dicker scored more fantasy points than Kyler Murray to hand me a fantasy loss in a match that I had in the bag. Talk about the worst of both worlds.
So that is how I ended up 7-8 and below .500 for a third straight week. The overall record is 49-57-1. Let’s turn it around!
Minnesota at LA Rams +3.5
The Vikings finally suffered a loss last Sunday against Detroit in a game that I correctly predicted. The Rams just beat Las Vegas to keep their season from totally imploding, and an upset over the Vikings could be a big part of Los Angeles’ turnaround. The return of Cooper Kupp and the Rams’ 2-1 record at home this season will give them the edge. Ram it!
Baltimore -9.5 at Cleveland
The Ravens are a juggernaut and I cannot bet against them again until they slow down. Maybe it will be this week against Cleveland’s tough defense and some Jameis Winston magic. I will take my chances with that.
Tennessee at Detroit -10.5
Jared Goff just doesn’t throw incomplete passes anymore and the Titans have even less of a passing offense than before because they traded DeAndre Hopkins.
Arizona +3.5 at Miami
Tua Tagovailoa is coming back to rescue the Dolphins even though the Twitter doctors haven’t cleared him yet. I don’t know how that is legal. I will give Tua a week to shake the rust off and go with the frisky Cardinals.
Aaron’s Week 7 NFL Picks
It is Week 7 already and I am stuck in a midseason rut. I have been under .500 for two straight weeks, and now all I want to do is pick chalk. It is probably because favorites did so well in Week 6. Let’s see if the trend continues!
Denver at New Orleans -1.5
This one is already dead. It’s probably because Denver was favored at kickoff. I just have to come to terms with the Broncos being a decent team. The Saints have now lost five straight since their scintillating start and Spencer Rattler is probably a career backup.
New England +4.5 vs. Jacksonville
Back to London for the Jaguars, who were crushed by the Bears over there last Sunday. Should Jacksonville be favored by more than a field goal against anybody? Maybe the Patriots, because they haven’t covered since their narrow defeat vs. Seattle in Week 2. Still, I am going with New England and its new rookie quarterback.
Seattle at Atlanta -2.5
The Seahawks have been dreadful defensively while losing three in a row. The Falcons are on a roll with three straight wins over NFC South rivals. I am picking Atlanta and hoping that gambling really is this easy.
Tennessee at Buffalo -8.5
Will Levis threw for 95 yards in Tennessee’s loss to Indianapolis last week. That is not going to be enough to keep up with Buffalo and new addition Amari Cooper!
Aaron’s Week 6 NFL Picks
Last week stunk for me. I had just crawled back to .500 and instead of keeping the momentum going, I fell into another hole with a 5-9 week. That’s what I get for picking against my Giants, and that’s one mistake I won’t make again this week. There are other mistakes that I am very willing to repeat, though.
San Francisco -3.5 at Seattle
Fading San Francisco worked out well in Week 5, as it blew another fourth quarter lead to a division rival. This is becoming a disturbing trend for Kyle Shanahan’s team. However, I can’t go with Seattle again after they returned a fumble 102 yards against my Giants and STILL lost by nine.
Jacksonville at Chicago -1.5
The Jaguars have resurrected themselves somewhat with two straight covers (1-1 straight up) after being humiliated by Buffalo on Monday Night Football. I am still fading them, though. That’s because the Bears are HOT HOT HOT with two straight wins that covered the spread. Plus, Caleb Williams is coming off the best game of his young career.
Arizona +4.5 at Green Bay
It is tough to figure this Cardinals team out, but I have picked their games correctly for two weeks in a row. Green Bay should win this game because its only two losses are close ones against Minnesota and Philly, but I like Arizona’s offense too much. I will hope for a field goal game.