Because sports should never run your life ... retorts for sports

Category Archives: NFL

NFL Update, Recap and Perspectives: Sunday, 12-9-18 (click post for audio)

NFL Update:
  • Steeler fans file a class action against Chris Boswell after a ridiculous slip ‘n fall in the vicinity of The Black Hole. #Steelers #Raiders
  • Gronk turns spastic after he gets put on the defensive at Miami Gardens. #Patriots #Dolphins
  • Amari amasses another touchdown pass — his third — and the ‘Boys put the Eggles out of their ever-loving misery. They’ll need more productivity in the red zone (for sure), but this team is moving in the right direction for a deep run in the playoffs. #Cowboys #Eagles
  • Rams get body slammed in the city of broad shoulders. #Bears #Rams
  • Slay stars for the Silver and Blue in the who cares game of the day. #Lions #Cardinals
  • Great game in KC goes to the relentless Chiefs, who made the big plays when they had to and manage to shut down Lamar Jackson just in the nick of time. #Chiefs #Ravens
  • A blocked punt seems to wake up the lethargic Saints, and Brees goes on a scoring spree in the 4th quarter that lifts the prohibitive favorites to another division tile. #Saints #Buccaneers
  • Andrew Luck and an impressive wall of protection from the offensive line were the key components in this must-have win for the rebounding Colts. #Colts #Texans
  • Rodgers has no problem filling up the stat sheet for Philbin, and Packers tar and feather the hopeless Falcons. #Falcons #Packers
  • In apparent sympathy to the President, the Washington Deadskins look absolutely dreadful against the resurgent G-ment. Mark Sanchez stinks up the joint with a woeful performance that will certainly go down in the annals of historical futility. #Giants #Redskins
  • Could it be that greener pastures lie ahead for Gang Green, after Bam Bam Darnold leads the Jets to a dramatic, comeback victory of the bewildered Bills? #Jets #Bills
  • Slowly but surely, the Browns are improving their rep, while the Panthers continue to flounder. Newton needs a new attitude and the once proud defense looks dazed and confused … getting left behind on the playing field by Mayfield. As for Ron Rivera, it is definitely time to worry; those two games against the powerful Saints are looming. #Panthers #Browns
  • Broncos take way too long to get off the dime and fall short by a little after some heroics from Kittle. #Broncos #Niners
Categories: NFL

NFL Update, Recap and Perspectives: Thursday, 12-6-18 (click post for audio)

NFL Update:

  • Looks like the Ti-tans took their Viagra as they very convincingly win a game of reverse tag in Nashville, pushing away a pretty limp challenge from the lost and forlorn Jags with double digit stiffies from a very jacked up Henry. And Tennessee still has a decent chance at WC No. 2, with a relatively easy schedule to close out the year. #Titans #Jaguars


Categories: NFL

NFL Update, Recap and Perspectives: Monday, 12-3-18 (click post for audio)

NFL Update:

  • No, we’re not fibbing … another Redskin QB goes down with a season ending injury (this time it’s both the tibia and fibula) … and extra ordinary journeyman Mark Sanchez can’t save them from getting clawed to death by the desperate Eagles. Philly moves on to face Dallas for an all-the-marbles game next week, while Washington needs a special medicine man to do some serious praying. #Redskins #Eagles
Categories: NFL

NFL Update, Recap and Perspectives: Sunday, 12-2-18 (click post for audio)

NFL Update:

  • Dolphins hang on and catch Bills from behind … thereby avoiding 2nd season extinction. #Bills #Dolphins
  • Minnesota needed a leader today in New England, and Cousins never stepped up to get the job done. Kudos to the Patriots, who look back on track for another 1st round bye in the playoffs. #Vikings #Patriots
  • After the Hunts release Hunt, Mahomes roams into Oakland, and the leads the Chiefs over the hapless Raiders. #Chiefs #Raiders
  • Tense time in Tennessee ends well for Titans when Marcus finds his mark. Titans salvage a narrow win and stay relevant for the wild card … for at least a little while longer. #Jets #Titans
  • Ravens tame the Falcons, firmly raising the issue regarding the whereabouts of what once was one of the league’s most dangerous aerial attacks. Great work by rookie Jackson, who is making the big plays with both his arm and his active feet. Baltimore’s figured out how to fly without Flacco and may well be playing in January. #Ravens #Falcons
  • Winston’s lately looking like a winner, while Newton needs a new attitude and outlook after an ugly 4 INT effort. #Panthers #Buccaneers
  • Rams have no trouble slamming the dazed and confused Lions, who need a lot more coordination on both sides of the ball. Matt Patricia is not showing much aptitude when it comes to offensive creativity, and Matt Stafford is regressing … big time. #Rams #Lions
  • Texans take out Browns in H-town, giving Mayfield a major migraine. Watson has another field day and the rushing game was also clicking. #Browns #Texans
  • Packers play the Cards they were dealt and come up a loser at home; when Crosby’s kick doesn’t go over crossbar and between the posts, McCarthy finds himself kicked out the door at GB. Happy birthday Aaron Rodgers! #Cardinals #Packers
  • Jags’ defense comes up huge when it has to, as they stop the Horseshoes dead in their tracks; as predicted on ChabDog Sports Talk by the Cantankerous Cabbie Caruso, Jalen Ramsey controlled TY Hilton and the rest of the Colts’ possession receivers, and two eschewed field goals proved fatal. #Colts #Jaguars
  • Bears come up short in New York, against a Giant team that has started to believe in itself, despite being out of contention for anything other than a .500 record. That is what solid defense and a rediscovered running game will do for you. And it hasn’t hurt that O’dell has turned into Throw’dell. #Bears #Giants
  • Bengals have lost another game, the Red Rocket, and their home crowd … but they still have perennial loser Lewis. As for the Broncos, they’re all evened up, and are powered by a real energizer bunny RB in rookie Lindsay, who goes today for over a buck fifty. #Broncos #Bengals
  • Steelers’ yo yo season is summed up with an erratic experience at home against the Chargers, culminating with a bad beat at the hands of Badgley’s feet. #Steelers #Chargers
Categories: NFL

NFL Update, Recap and Perspectives: Thursday, 11-29-18 (click post for audio)

NFL Update:

  • Shortish Brees paints his Saints into a deadly corner at AT&T by continually failing to move up into the open pocket when his vision was blocked by the Dallas D-treeline. Hey Drew, you can’t hit targets you can’t see, and if you won’t move to improve your vision, the resulting failure is on you. As for the Cowboys, that offense is still butt ugly, but in this year’s NFC, it just might not matter. #Cowboys #Saints
Categories: NFL

NFL Update, Recap and Perspectives: Monday, 11-26-18 (click post for audio)

NFL Update:

  • Texans double up the Titans behind Deshaun “Double Threat” Watson, who had his way through the air and on the ground. If Houston’s QB keeps playing like this, the Lone Star State may well have their first Super Bowl team since 1995 and the Boys of Barry Switzer. One thing’s not so clear however … and that’s whether the young QB can avoid serious injury as he continues to run over and through defenders. In the NFL, that is truly like playing a game of Russian Roulette. #Titans #Texans
Categories: NFL

NFL Update, Recap and Perspectives: Sunday, 11-25-18 (click post for audio)

NFL Update:

  • Steelers do lots of things right today in Denver, but come up short in rather spectacular fashion, including a goal line fumble into the end zone and two excuse me pick offs by Big Ben. Once more, a visit to Denver becomes a house of horrors for Tomlin’s troops, who won’t have any room for further slip ups as they enter the scary part of their schedule (New England, New Orleans and LAC coming up). They may well wish they had this came back later in December. #Steelers #Broncos
  • Rodgers and Packers continue their habitual trend of slacking off against the Vikings. Consider this to be the calm before the storm in Minnesota, as the next two weeks feature stern tests at New England and surging Seattle. #Packers #Vikings
  • Colts are now above .500 and feeling mighty good about themselves; Jim Mora is no more, but playoffs? Playoffs? It’s a distinct possibility. #Dolphins #Colts
  • Rivers drowns the Cards in a torrent of completions, and the Chargers get a nice tuneup for their big confrontation next week in Pittsburgh. #Cardinals #Chargers
  • Cam puts up some snazzy numbers, but it’s all for naught as Wilson manufactures another 4th Q comeback; as long as Seattle can rely on its experienced, capable QB, they will be a threat to get into the playoffs and go at least a little bit further. #Seahawks #Panthers
  • Raiders continue to kill time, getting run over repeatedly by the refreshed Ravens. #Raiders #Ravens
  • Don’t look now but the Bills have won 2 in a row, and have climbed out of of the dungeon in the AFC East; time to break out the bubbly in Orchard Park. #Jaguars #Bills
  • Giants continue their improved play, but it isn’t enough to ground the Eagles, who surprise with some semblance of a rushing attack. #Giants #Eagles
  • Traveling Browns look oddly competent, if not dominant, in dismantling the blase Bengals, who see injury added to insult when Dalton goes out with a bum thumb. #Browns #Bengals
  • After an early season flurry of effectiveness, the backsliding Bucs finally reassert themselves and find themselves masters over the Forty Niners. #FortyNiners #Buccaneers
Categories: NFL

NFL Update, Recap and Perspectives: Monday, 11-19-18 (click post for audio)

NFL Update:

  • ChabDog was pleased to see the underdogs from J-ville come up empty-handed, as well as where Ben’s historic dive landed. #Steelers #Jaguars
  • Minnesota’s minimalist approach when it comes to both rushing yardage (22 for the entire game) and yards per completion (a tiny 5.7 yards for Captain Kirk) are not putting a big scare into the upper echelon of the NFL. Keep thinking small Vikings, and your sphere of influence will continue to be inconsequential. #Vikings #Bears
  • Half-blind Oakland finds a few nuts in Glendale with three picks of rookie Rosen. Congratulations to Raider Nation … you have to start somewhere. #Raiders #Cardinals
  • Chargers take a step in reverse, looking like last year’s snake bitten bunch, as Von turns the game around with a devastating pick of Phil and another beautiful boot by Brandon. #Broncos #Chargers
  • Horseshoes are now on track, what with Luck all the way back, and playing with lethal weapons such as Hilson, Wilkins and Mack. #Titans #Colts
  • Texans lay down the defensive law just in time to corral the Redskin raiding party. And without Alex Smith, this team looks ripe for a free fall. #Texans #Redskins
  • Don’t look now, but the Giants are threatening to crawl out of the division cellar and see the light of day; yes, Eli is now on a serious roll. #Buccaneers #Giants
  • In a game right outta the Big 12, Jared Goff shows off his 2nd year poise with a late game push that snuffs out the Chiefs and their awesome firepower. Yes, Mahomes is immensely talented, but he’s not all grows’d up just yet~ #Chiefs #Rams
  • Baltimore exercises its option to run with Action Jackson … and it works! #Ravens #Bengals
  • 8-8 could very well take the excessively mediocre NFC East, which suits Dallas just fine. They’ve demonstrated the ability to put up these kinds of numbers like clockwork. #Cowboys #Falcons
  • Cam Newton continues to suffer road daze, looking slightly distracted (by what we don’t know) in botching a two point conversion to the detriment of his pussy cat Panthers. #Panthers #Lions

Categories: NFL

NFL Update, Recap and Perspectives: Thursday, 11-15-18 (click post for audio)

NFL Update:

  • Chunky Mike “Melissa” McCarthy makes the dramatic, fatal blunder of trusting his physically challenged defense to stop football’s version of Russell Athletic and the league’s most consistent running game. SURPRISE, SURPRISE IT DIDN’T WORK, AND GB NEVER GOT THE BALL BACK. Next time, Mike, show a little more sack, and trust your all-pro quarterback. #Packers #Seahawks
Categories: NFL

NFL Update, Recap and Perspectives: Sunday, 11-11-18 (click post for audio)

NFL Update:

  • For Patriot patrons, this is a disturbing trend … another former disciple has his way with coaching god Belichick. #Patriots #Titans
  • Rams take care of business against a Seahawk team that would not stop coming, using their usual heavy quotient of Gurley, along with some gorgeous tosses from Goff and plenty of pressure on the always pesky Russell Wilson. #Seahawks #Rams
  • Misguided Miami finds that gaining yards isn’t nearly enough against Green Bay at Lambeau. With sloppy execution, it certainly wasn’t safe for the Dolphins, who get canned by the Packers. #Dolphins #Packers
  • Oakland’s fake team finds that a fake punt isn’t nearly enough against the high flying Chargers, who come to their sense after a very sluggish 1st quarter to run over the Raiders. #Chargers #Raiders
  • Jags fight the good fight, but can’t get get their wheels turning fast enough to keep up with the streaking Colts; unfortunate fumble is fatal in final minutes. #Jaguars #Colts
  • Tampa turnovers are the difference, as Redskins ratchet up the intensity on the road with a solid performance on both sides of the ball. #Buccaneers #Redskins
  • Soft Patriots no match for rough and tumble Titans in road loss; NE had better fix its o-line issues good and quick, as well as find some way to take the pressure and attention off of Brady, or they won’t be going very far this year in their drive for ring no. 6. #Patriots #Titans
  • When it comes to the QB, Buffalo is finally barking up the right tree with Matt Barkley. #Bills #Jets
  • Browns flatten Falcons as Chubb has a fat day on the stat sheet and Baker is a touchdown maker. #Falcons #Browns
  • Spread aside, Arizona goes down like clockwork to air KC, after the usual damage done by Mahomes, Hunt and Hill. #Cardinals #Chiefs
  • It was a total breeze for Drew and the Saints, who get everything they could have dreamed of, and more, against the Bengals. Brees goes up and down the filed at will, while Cincy looks catatonic, at best. #Saints #Bengals
  • Cowboys stay alive in the NFC East and make their fans proud with some Sunday Night Fever. Zeke lets his feet do the talking, and at least for a few days, Cowboy detractors can stop squawking. #Cowboys #Eagles
Categories: NFL

NFL Update, Recap and Perspectives: Thursday, 11-8-18 (click post for audio)

NFL Update:

  • No prospect for the tiny Panthers holding themselves close, let alone playing Ketchup at Heinz tonight. Steelers’ o-line was oh so dominant, allowing Ben to pick apart Carolina’s secondary and creating room for Jimbo Connor to blow through plenty of big holes. And let’s bring back those catchy, busy black Dark Knight unis for future use; kind of reminds me of the road we need to travel to get back to the promised land. #Steelers #Panthers
Categories: NFL

NFL Update, Recap and Perspectives: Monday, 11-5-18 (click post for audio)

NFL Update:

  • Tennessee comes into Cowboy country and imposes its will, grinding out a comfortable win by pitching a shut out in a well-executed 2nd half. For Jerry Jones, it is high time to take a hard look at what Dak lacks, and Jason’s complete inability to deliver anything resembling a Golden Fleece. If he can’t bring himself to make some changes, maybe he needs to hire someone who will, because brand equity is diminishing rapidly. #Titans #Cowboys
Categories: NFL

NFL Update, Recap and Perspectives: Sunday, 11-4-18 (click post for audio)

NFL Update:

  • Deshaun definitely had his game face on against a determined Denver, and the Texans needed all his fortitude to win this fight. That being said, the Texans must be thanking their lucky lone star, after a Bronco boot misses its mark as time runs out, leaving a two-point lead in tact. Time for everyone to recognize the fact that Houston is now firmly in control of the lowly AFC South. #Texans #Broncos
  • Rams’ veneer of invincibility is shattered by a Saints offense that was simply merciless. Every gap and cranny in LA’s secondary was exploited, and Gurley was largely kept under wraps. Now the question becomes … how to stop the Saints and their relentless attack? #Rams #Saints
  • Under-the-radar Chargers sink the Seahawks with an excellent first half, featuring some mesmerizing runs by Melvin and a typically on target Rivers. But despite everything, LAC’s defense nearly gave things away in the final minutes, with some foolhardy penalties and loose play. Better clean this up if you want to play with the big boys! #Chargers #Seahawks
  • Vikes were certainly psyched to see their divisional rivals wander into town, dropping Stafford with alarming regularity. However, it remains to be seen whether this team has what it takes to be considered a true contender. Their power rank notwithstanding, this confidence booster for fragile Kirk Cousins was much appreciated — and needed– in Minnesota. #Lions #Vikings
  • So much for Darnold being the QB gem of this year’s draft class. Dolphins now somehow find themselves sitting above .500 … and with two games left against the inept Bills (that is definitely money in the bank). #Dolphins #Jets
  • Steelers atone for home loss to the Baltimore birds by hunting their hated rivals down on the road, in a methodical 7-pt victory; the winning margin does not tell the complete story, as Pittsburgh was able to do what it wanted on offense and did a great job keeping the Ravens out of the end zone. This team is in a very good place right now in terms of achieving an effective balance between the run and pass and has made huge strides in eliminating the big play give-ups that plagued them earlier in the year. #Steelers #Ravens
  • It was over before it started in Landover, as, true to form, the recently prosperous Redskins played dead with a lame performance that makes their 5-3 record look pretty tenuous. Their o-line is falling apart and overall execution was clearly lacking, with penalties, turnovers and a non-existent running game. This gives the Eagles and Cowboys plenty of hope that the playoffs are still in play. #Falcons #Redskins
  • Something very offensive has caught on in Charlotte, and everyone’s tickled Carolina blue about it… including Cam Newton, who now see plenty of speed and athleticism around him when he settles under center. As for the Bucs, you could drive a truck through those gaping holes in the defense, it’s about time they acquired some stop lights. #Buccaneers #Panthers
  • Browns bow down to warrior Chiefs and their leader Mahomes, who look just fine away from home. #Chiefs #Browns
  • Bears spill the Bills for another huge loss, as the team that talent forgot is doing a good job keeping pace with the Raiders for the booby prize in the upcoming draft. #Bears #Bills
  • New England keeps plugging, and eventually lights up the Packers in a decisive 4th quarter; as usual, adjustments were made by the P-men, including ruthless misdirection and trickery against worn and torn GB defenders, who were only too willing to go for the fakes. #Patriots #Packers
Categories: NFL

NFL Update, Recap and Perspectives: Thursday, 11-1-18 (click post for audio)

NFL Update:
  • Raiders look like they are out there just killing time … so why do we have to watch them even on weekdays. Gruden can say whatever he wants to rationalize what happened out there tonight, but this may well be the absolute nadir in the annals of the Silver and Black. Back to the basics, guys, as you look like you forgot how to try, not to mention, execute. #Raiders #Niners
Categories: NFL

Law Office of Brandon S. Chabner

A Professional Corporation — providing business and outside general counsel services, including entity formation, contract drafting and negotiation and transaction structuring.

for more information, go to and mention promo code “CHABDOG” for a 20% discount on our regular hourly rate.

Winner of Easy Reader’s 2017 Best of Beach/Best Business Attorney