Because sports should never run your life ... retorts for sports

Category Archives: NFL

On the “Mid-January Affect” CDST Show (Part 1):

Mar 28, 2019; Seattle, WA, USA; Boston Red Sox manager Alex Cora (20) reacts during batting practice against the Seattle Mariners at T-Mobile Park. Mandatory Credit: Joe Nicholson-USA TODAY Sports

On the “Mid-January Affect” CDST Show (Part 1):

— Don’t forget to access our show on i-heart radio, i-tunes, and elsewhere on the world wide web
— Raw doggin it at Dicky D’s (Italian dogs are on the menu today for Tank, who’s firing on all cylinders by going with the Niners and Chiefs)
— We announce that “The Mets’ season has been officially ruined” … thank you very little little smug Alex for dropping that dime on Beltran and giving the Wilponizi’s no choice but to show him the door
— But let’s get some clarity … are we penalizing the Houston players (or ex-players) or not?
— It’s pretty darn clear everyone on the Stros was listening for trash cans and getting buzzed for good measure
— Eric will only be placated by the Stros and Bosox recent titles being vacated
— Explaining the hidden story behind the 1951 Shot Heard Round the World (binoculars and flashlights were getting lots of use)
— Nobody stole bean ball Bob Gibson’s signs
— Time for MLB to take inventory on those pesky Apple watches
— New replacements for I like getting licked Mickey — Edgardo “Winning is so bourgeois” Perez or some guy from the minors who is 500 games below .500
— It’s all Trump’s (no Marc’s) fault.
— It’s time for Frank to fly and feed on his furters, but that Keller feller most capably fills the void
— Will the Astros be forced to foot Hugh Darvish’s therapy bill? It’s certainly a whopper.
— When it came to keeping things close with Frisco, most of us thought Green Bay would find a way … and boy were we wrong
— For a guy that’s a powerful, punishing runner, upright, chiseled Henry has more than a little Walker in him
— Ryan Tannehill=a poor man’s Trent Dilfer
— Gonna give Well-read flack for slipping Flacco into the NFC Championship convo .. (missing a few vowels lol)
— More on the short half-back life of running QBs
— Another recounting of the last moments of TB 12’s failed 2019 campaign (“Well…. bye … you smell that Bill? Smells like someone died”)
— The NBA’s China Syndrome code of silence … a sad state of affairs
— Getting a little vocal about the job done by Vogel
— No the Clippers cannot play the Lake Show in the Finals
— Mike Tyson type short work by 170 pound McGregor (scary good going 0 to 40)
— A personal prayer from ChabDog to view 50 year old footage of Nancy Kwan in the square circle with the late great Sharon Tate
— Finding out why Cora needed to “clean his details” (how you like them apples?)
— Do you like women? A real loaded question … particularly for a 7-yr old. I dream of Jeannie, and Tsa Tsa (“Olivah? Olivah?)
— Yours truly was rock solid in the Sports Rock regular season pool, but the post season was certainly not kind
— David Bugg … a super nice guy even for a Boys fan … and he’s certainly a stone cold killer when it comes to sizing things up in the playoffs

NFL Update, Recap and Perspectives, Sunday, 1-19-20:

NFL Update:

  • Green Bay’s charmed life comes to a crashing halt in Santa Clara, as Raheem found seam, after seam, after seam, and Nicky Boy Bosa pancaked Mister Rodgers more than a few times (a performance that would’ve made Joe Pesci proud). For those of us looking for an exciting, hard fought tug of war, the Niners would have none of it … obliterating the static Pack with a first half onrush that was simply a suffocating red tide. These guys look hungry for more and may well have the athletic credentials to hang with the Chiefs (and then some). #Packers #FortyNiners
  • Speed kills, and today the Chiefs’ offense made TN’s linebacks (and entire defense for that matter) look like it was stuck in cement. Mahomes was in total control … even when he shouldn’t have been; where was the designated spy to keep KC’s QB honest and towing the line of scrimmage. As good as their game plan was last week for Action Jackson, today’s blueprint seemed devoid of details and advance planning. Bend but not break became bend over and get paddled severely. And what about Hammer Henry? He became largely irrelevant once the Titans found themselves down by two scores, and desperate for a quick tally/frantic rally. Congrats to Andy Reed and his team for taking care of business and moving on for the final, epic confrontation in Miami. #Titans #Chiefs
Categories: NFL

NFL Update, Recap and Perspectives, Saturday, 1-18-20:

NFL Update:

  • GB getting 7.5? Seriously, that looks like a gift from god.
    You can count on Rodgers keeping his team in the neighborhood until the very end.
  • Gut check time tomorrow at Arrowhead. The Chiefs and their long suffering coach have finally been freed of Patriot shackles … all they need to do is conquer a team with a 9-7 record and journeyman field general who was junked by the Miami Dolphins. But we’ve seen KC riding high before, only to come crashing to earth when the rubber hit the road and things go serious. This team has the best QB in football, but one of the worst track records for choking that you’ll find anywhere … and a defense that is still, in one word, “suspect”.

    And these Titans don’t seem to fear anyone … not the Patriots, not Lamar Jackson, and certainly not the #2 seed with all the speed. If they figure out a way to limit Kelce, control the run and force Mahomes to go outside to the wide outs, along with riding the wide thighs of Hammer Henry, why can’t they get it done. This game seems closer than the spread indicates, and watch out if Tennessee has the lead in the 4th. When it comes to extended periods of suffering, the visitors have just as much to complain about (20 years since they fell one measly yard short). And Vrabel may have learned a thing or do from Belichick about how to read Reid.

Categories: NFL

On the “Divvying Up The Divisional Spoils” CDST Show (Part 2):


On the “Divvying Up The Divisional Spoils” CDST Show (Part 2):
— Getting comfortable with some Southern Comfort (powerful good stuff from Powers Booth) (“I’m telling you Harden … relax”)
— Melissa McCarthy comes to a full stop in the middle of a highway, leading to a big confrontation between Sandy Bigelows
(it’s a family name … goes back to the Mayflower … ever heard of Jeremiah Bigelow, the bear hunter)
— What it means for a kid to look like Tom Petty in a negative way (“You look like a @#$# bank commercial couple”)
— How to survive hour two without a football game to watch and no Maahk (well, Purdue is playing Mich St. in b-ball)
— Well-read explains the real meaning of a Boilermaker (and we’re not talking about the drink)
— ChabDog waxes adnauseam about the virtues of the Aussie Open (and in this year’s heat, expect to see some foreign legion hats ala Lendl)
— Previewing the BSC Championship … we raise the specter of Burrow beating back some adversity
— A free therapy session for weaning ourselves off of the gridiron girdle.

NFL Update, Recap and Perspectives, Sunday, 1-12-20:

NFL Update:

  • Texans attend a shootout at the Arrowhead Corral and, not surprisingly, their cap guns don’t measure up to the Chiefs’ heavy artillery. This was a bad showing by the Houston coaching staff … both in terms of the completely non-existent defensive scheme (what exactly was the plan here in terms of dealing with Kelce?) and an unwillingness to establish the running game/chew up clock/keep Mahomes off the field. These oversights were completely unforgivable, particularly when you consider the visitors were “gifted” at 24 point lead, which probably had many KC fans giving up. You can be sure Tennessee will not use this kind of careless approach (on both sides of the ball) next week, and that means the favorites will have a tougher test on their hands. #Texans #Chiefs
  • Seahawks lost track of Davante, Wilson uncharacteristically settles for more than a few sacks, and, in what seemed to be a somewhat senior moment, Pete commits the cardinal sin of giving the ball back to the vaunted Mr. Rodgers on a short 4th down with only minutes left. They certainly will be sleepless in Seattle after this one. #Seahawks #Packers
Categories: NFL

NFL Update, Recap and Perspectives, Saturday, 1-11-20:

NFL Update:

  • After tonight’s trashing of the stale, off kilter Ravens, nobody can seriously argue that the “T” on the Titans’ helmets stands for anything other than tough. These guys jumped on their opponents from the opening gun, dominating the line of scrimmage and forcing fleeing flicker Lamar into countless mistakes and bad decisions. With a domineering Derrick Henry chewing up yards and the clock, once Baltimore fell behind by three possessions it was totally over. Tennessee is now like a baseball slugger on a wicked hot streak, for whom the baseball looks as big as a grapefruit .. tossed in slow motion. Who cares that they will be underdogs throughout the rest of the playoffs … how can you seriously consider doubting them. And congrats go out to Vrable for particular strong coaching job. Remember the Titans! #Titans #Ravens
  • Things go just fine for the Niners, as they minimize Minny’s running game, keep Cousins prisoner in the pocket and use their own powerful ground game to let Jimmy G. operate free and easy. San Francisco can now sit back and count the days until they host the NFC Championship. As for the Vikings, it may be time to shake up command and control; there’s too much talent to be satisfied with continual failure come put-up/shut-up time. #Vikings #FortyNiners
Categories: NFL

NFL Update, Recap and Perspectives, Sunday, 1-5-20:

NFL Update:

  • A worthy opponent is moving on … and it ‘aint everybody’s fashionable pick, the Saints. What went wrong? It was a recurring theme we’ve seen play out more and more these days when Brees faces an athletic, large defensive line that crowds his vision, pressures him into mistakes and dares him to step up into the pocket … an alternative he seems completely unwilling to embrace. Today, he completed more passes than counterpart Kurt, and for notably less yards. The short stuff just wasn’t getting it done, and the team actually functioned better with the more versatile fill-in Hill chiming in for an occasional big play.

    As for the Vikes, most of us got this seriously wrong, and if their formidable defensive and offensive rushing games show up next week in Frisco, there’s no reason they can’t pull another shocker with Captain Cousins. #Vikings #Saints

  • Seattle proved it wasn’t about to clown around and let the Eagles violate all rules of decent society by graduating out of the NFC East dead pool and into the playoffs’ second round. Once Wentz went down at the hands Clowney, so too did Philly’s hopes for a goal line crossing; not much chance of this with an aged QB of McCown’s non-existent renown. #Seahawks #Eagles
    Get a recap of the Seattle Seahawks vs. Philadelphia Eagles football game.
Categories: NFL

NFL Update, Recap and Perspectives, Saturday, 1-4-20:

NFL Update:

  • Move over John Henry, make way Henry Aaron … there’s a new Henry in town and his name is Derrick…
  • Van Noy and the other Patriot boys were no match for TN’s he-man Henry, who played like a halfback and a half today … running over and through defenders en route to one heck of a birthday celebration. Crocodile tears are flowing as Brady is denied, and Belichick gets schooled, once again, by one of his disciples (in this case the very able Vrabel). #Titans #Patriots
  • Texans 2-step past the snake-bitten Bills, when Watson breaks two sacklers and squirts out a 34 yard down-and-outer that sets the tablle for a clean-up chippy. This wasn’t by any means a referendum for playoff progression, but it is a small step for Texan-kind. #Texans #Bills
Categories: NFL

NFL Update, Recap and Perspectives, Sunday, 12-29-19:

  • They’re definitely sick in New England after Gesicki’s TD reception means Billy’s GOAT and the rest of his highly regarded troops ended up with a very smelly fish fry gone wrong; more late game magic from Miami’s get-pounded machine amd the Pats can’t stand pat at No. 2 and instead get dumped into the No. 3 seed slot. And just wait until they see how tough Tennessee can be…. big mistake looking past Miami. #Dolphins #Patriots
  • Seattle loses at home, again and for most likely one last time, in somewhat spectacular style. Niner speed and power was just too much for Wilson and Co. to overcome, along with an unpardonable penalty near the SF goal line, which likely cost the hosts the winning score. Now they’ll have to travel to San Fran come playoff time if they hope to settle the score. #Niners #Seahawks
  • It was full Ramming speed ahead, once last time in the Coliseum, as Goff helped his team show off and made the Cardinal resistance scatter. #Cardinals #Rams
  • Raider haters rejoice, particularly in Denver, as Bronco bravado rises to the occasion to deny Oakland victory for what appears to be the last time. #Raiders #Broncos
  • Eagles shrug off more injuries and do what they need to do by doubling up the hopelessly hapless Giants. #Eagles #Giants
  • Finally, TDs are no longer few and far between for Minshew and the Jags, who run rings around the Horseshoes. #Colts #Jaguars
  • Titans regain their major mojo with a 3-TD road victory over the lounging Texans. Tannehill continues to capably steer Vrabel’s ship, with super stud Henry supplying most of the horsepower. And these guys are clearly tough and athletic enough to go into New England next week and keep this good thing going. #Titans #Texans
  • Despite a decided destruction of DC’s Redskins, Dallas remains in the doldrums, and Jerry’s still mum on whether Jason will be jettisoned from Lone Star territory. The melodrama of this stayed execution is wearing thing, so someone please tell Mr. Jones all appeals have definitely been exhausted. #Redskins #Cowboys
  • Steelers’ season ends in wet, miserable fashion as the Ravens pin them to the M&T Bank Stadium welcome mat with a seemingly unending flurry of toxic body blows. Without their big guy at QB and some other valuable offensive weaponry, PIttsburgh’s stout defense just couldn’t pick up the slack … there were just too many holes to fill. Management now has an off-season to figure out what changes need to be made, because simply bringing back a healthy Roethlisberger is not the complete answer. #Steelers #Ravens
  • Plucky Falcons catch the Bucs in the 4th quarter, pass them in OT, and finally, catch them in the standings. #Falcons #Buccaneers
  • Backpedaling Vikes liking life, despite another half-hearted loss that leaves them with little momentum going in to their first round trip to the Big Easy. Yes, they will be healthy in body … but what about in mind. #Bears #Vikings
  • GB plays with the Lions like a semi-bored cat pawing a dead mouse, and like clockwork they clinch a 1st round bye when reliable Crosby puts one over the cross bar … and between the uprights. Ho hum. #Packers #Lions
  • It took awhile, but the Chiefs finally choke off the last gasp of the wheezing Chargers with what else … a rather matter-of-fact pick of a Rivers’ side-winding floater. And like it or not, Andy may well be set up for another confrontation with his habitual nemesis from the Northeast. #Chargers #Chiefs
  • Not much drama in Orchard Park, as the Bills were just killing time, and the Jets were only too willing to play along. After all is said and done, 7-9 and a more confident young Darnold are a welcome sight for the improving Jets. #Jets #Bills
  • Both Ohio NFL teams leave the field with losing records, but it’s the 14 loss squad that may be in a better frame of mind for next year. No more Andy Dalton, and dreams of Joe Burrow in Cincy, while Cleveland has to deal with yet another campaign of bitter disappointment, lost opportunities and uncertainty in terms of the all-important leadership quotient — Baker has turned into quite an interception maker, and Kitchens has been permanently banished from the premises. #Browns #Bengals
  • Saints disembowel the pansy Panthers with tons of religious fervor, but are relegated to No. 3 when Frisco refuses to yield on the 1 inch line. Despite the bad break, a strong case can be made for NO as the real heavyweight contender in the NFC. #Saints #Panthers
Categories: NFL

NFL Update, Recap and Perspectives, Monday, 12-23-19:

NFL Update:

  • GB clamps down on the Vikings with a surprisingly stern second half defensive effort; this combined with rugged running by Aaron Jones and the usual stabilizing leadership of #12 leads GB to its 12th win and a likely bye in the 2nd season. As for little Kirk, it was another remarkably unimpressive Monday night meltdown, due in large part the usual problems dealing with a pass rush, as well as a defensive scheme that kept him confined to a steadily shrinking .. and terrifying … pocket. #Packers #Vikings
Categories: NFL

NFL Update, Recap and Perspectives, Sunday, 12-22-19:

NFL Update:

  • Seahawks lay a huge egg at home after a scary run in with Chandler, the QB handler. Needless to say, Seattle did not look ready for battle and seemed to be thinking ahead to the fracas with San Francisco. #Cardinals #Seahawks
  • Desperate Bears flail their way to a rather pitiful prime time home failure against the utlra talented Chieftains, who relied on their superior speed, strength, coaching and of course their highly accurate Mahomes-ing pitching. #Chiefs #Bears
  • When it comes to scoring,  a chronically clogged up offense put the Steelers’ playoff hopes in a very TENous situation; can we please get off this number once and for all? The only good news is that with regard to next week, Baltimore will almost certainly be putting action Jackson in traction (but unless the Chargers surprise the world, Houston will have a similar lack of motivation to tangle aggressively with tough TN at home. #Steelers #Jets
  • Error prone, erratic Raiders put one of their more competent efforts together and put away the lame duck LA Chargers. With hallucinations of a helluva lot of help, they’ve lately been seen parading around with preposterous pretensions of the playoffs. #Raiders #Chargers
  • Favored sons of the Lone Star start poorly and never recover; now they’ll go into the final week praying for the Giants, while the Eagle can take pride in a job well done. #Cowboys #Eagles
  • Denver still has something to say and 2019, and against deferential Detroit they let Lindsay do the talking. #Lions #Broncos
  • After today’s productive explosion, Shurmur probably has a murmur that he has something good to work with for next year; that’s all well and good, but there’s probably a little voice whispering in his ear … “You were playing the Redskins”. #Giants #Redskins
  • Saints recover from a rough 1st period to beat back the desperate Titans. This win provides important confirmation about the Big Easy a bona fide contender for hosting the NFC Title game; NO has more overall balance, not to mention more firepower, than any other team in its conference. #Saints #Titans
  • Miami was reading the Bengals their last rites, before Andy the Red reduced at 16-pt lead to nothing with an incredible, last ditch scoring pitch and 2 pt conversion. Of course, it was all for naught when the Fins finished the terrible tigers off in OT. #Bengals #Dolphins
  • When it came to defending returns, Carolina looked like it could care less, and was a step behind Indy’s Hines all day. #Panthers #Colts
  • Baltimore beats up on the blase Browns, who had mostly little to nothing going on. Looks like the heat’s building up on Kitchens, who’ll appears to be dead man walking for next year. But the real culprit may be a lack of coordination on offense, and no excuses for so little done with some decent to good weapons, including Mayfield, Chubb and Landry. #Ravens #Browns
  • Falcons’ less than fantastic season hits a welcome crest as they pick apart the purely passive Jags, who’ve been in nature preserve mode for nearly the whole season. #Jaguars #Falcons
Categories: NFL

NFL Update, Recap and Perspectives, Saturday, 12-21-19:

NFL Update:

  • Niners shine when they have to and slam the playoff door rudely on the Rams, who played well enough to win, but blinked at critical moments. SF can revel in another close shave victory, but they’ve got to be alarmed about problems in their secondary (where was Richard Sherman tonight?) and a QB who takes way too many sacks. Jimmy Garoppolo can’t find a target right away, so he scrambles and finds a hole with George Kittle open in the end zone in the middle of the fourth quarter. #FortyNiners #Rams
  • This game was a microcosm of the entire season for the frustrated Bucs, as they outgained their opponents by a healthy margin, but fall short on the scoreboard due to mistakes and turnovers. The chief offensive offender was J-miss Winston, who was off target to the tune of four very costly interceptions, including getting burned by Fairbairn on a rude awakening pick six to start the game. #Buccaneers #Texans
  • Patriots grind out a tough TD victory over the offensively challenged Bills, and like death, taxes and divorce, NE lays claim to the AFC East title. Yes, Buffalo has a great group of defenders, but Josh Allen has some of the worst mechanics you’ll in any pro pocket. #Patriots #Bills
Categories: NFL

NFL Update, Recap and Perspectives, Monday, 12-16-19:

NFL Update:

  • On the latest Monday Night snooze-fest, the Colts were seen going through the motions on defense (or was it actual nose picking … ala Spalding in Caddyshack, as they stood around and watched while Drew threw with impunity, giving up a truly humiliating 29 completions in 30 attempts; and yes, NO must be feeling pretty good about themselves, but let’s be clear, Indy is playing like a total cream puff right now … things get a lot dicier next week against the tough Titans. #Colts #Saints
Categories: NFL

NFL Update, Recap and Perspectives, Sunday, 12-15-19:

NFL Update:

  • Minnesota rips the rudderless, homeless Chargers, who continue to disregard the commonly held views regarding home field advantage. Another river of turnovers for Rivers, whose team got their butts thoroughly kicked, … although Phil did get his usual bucket of meaningless yards. #Vikings #Chargers
  • Steelers stall at home against a savage Buffalo defense, looking mostly confused on offense. After Tomlin abandoned the run (wasn’t James Conner getting about 5 yards a carry), it was tee off time for the Bills’ line, and in the end, cherry picking time for their corners and safeties. Better come up with some other kind of plan, guys, because this isn’t a recipe for success against the good guys. #Bills #Steelers
  • Fearless Falcons remind the world that Frisco’s footballers are simply not “all that” with a road victory that came out of, well, left field. The only clear truth this year in the NFC is that any team that finds its way into the playoffs has a decent shot at making the Super Bowl; this is no time to play favorites, because there are none. #Falcons #FortyNiners
  • Dallas regroups and runs roughshod over the sacrificial Rams. LAR has no obvious field general, and is beating badly beat on both sides of the line. Time to declare no mas in La La Land as regards both pigskin participants. #Rams #Cowboys
  • Irresponsible as always, the Raiders leave their loyal fans in the lurch at the Black Hole church, frittering away a seemingly insurmountable 10-point league in the last five minutes. This fits the team’s personality profile perfectly — since the last Super Bowl win in the early 80’s, but seems a pity when you consider all the great athletes that donned the Silver and Black and laced up their cleats at the It’s particularly hard to take given who beat them … a team that had by all appearances been left for dead. If only Carr had slid a little sooner, stayed in bounds … and kept that clock running. If only they had not dropped the ensuing 3rd down pass, and gotten the clinching first down. Just lose, baby! #Jaguars #Raiders
  • Skins put a spirited home defense, but ultimately relent with the Eagles going to their tried and true formula of Wentz to Ertz. So much for Redskin resistance. #Eagles #Redskins
  • Texans finally buckle down on the road against the previously surging Titans, successfully slugging it out n the trenches en route to a critical divisional win. TN’s offense just wasn’t up to the task, and they now have a major hole to crawl out of if they hope to move on to the second season. #Texans #Titans
  • The battle of the basement takes an interesting turn, as the G-ment give ground to Miami’s Mermaids with a unusually sterling performance at home; Manning looks to be getting his mojo back, and there was a Saquon sighting. #Dolphins #Giants
  • Chiefs stomp the Broncos, with a dominant performance of the type regularly on display last year; Denver pays a dear price for its inexperienced QB and a defense that could never seem to keep up with with Mahomes and friends
  • So much for the Bears’ inspired run for extended playing time, as they get roughed up at Lambeau by the division leaders. They may not be flashy, but GB is a very gaudy 11-3. #Bears #Packers
  • Bucs lay the lethargic Lions to waste, with Jameis having enough time in the pocket to eat quite a few crab legs. Seriously, the team has really responded to Coach Arians, who deserves lots of credit turning this shagging franchise around. #Buccaneers #Lions
  • Seattle holds on with its usual mix of Wilsonian excellence and a persistent, efficient running game. Stink Panthers wait too long to get their act together, and fall short with a somewhat valiant late game comeback. #Seahawks #Panthers
  • After a false positive first quarter, things quickly revert back to normal for the hapless Bengals, who are victimized by interceptions and the normal slate of miscues. Patriots land back in familiar territory … the playoffs. #Patriots #Bengals
Categories: NFL

Law Office of Brandon S. Chabner

A Professional Corporation — providing business and outside general counsel services, including entity formation, contract drafting and negotiation and transaction structuring.

for more information, go to and mention promo code “CHABDOG” for a 20% discount on our regular hourly rate.

Winner of Easy Reader’s 2017 Best of Beach/Best Business Attorney