Because sports should never run your life ... retorts for sports

Category Archives: NFL

On the “Concubine Quarantine” CDST Show (Part 2):

On the uproarious “Concubine Quarantine” CDST Show (Part 2):
— Don’t judge a book by its cover, unless someone has hit the head with it first (“They’re selling coffee, bran muffins, you’re surrounded by reading material … it’s entrapment”) (“You just lost a lot of business, because I love to read”) (“I’m not eating anything in the vicinity of that book”) (“Wait a second, this book has been in the bathroom…. it’s been flagged… you get this toilet book outta here and I won’t jump over the counter and punch you in the brain”) (“You defiled one book, steal another and ask for your money back, and you call that even?”)
— And we can never, ever, get enough of Kramer’s “Assman” … unless of course you’re a breast man (“Cozmo Kramer, you are the Assman”) (“Yo Assman… look at the Assman … I never dreamed it could make such a difference … Kramer made a pass at me … he stopped short and made a grab… stopped short, that’s my move”) (“How dare you stop short with my wife … to think I almost split the profits on the manziere with you”)
— Frank checks in to reveal what it’s like keeping vampire hours … let’s face it folks, with no sports on idiot’s box of sadness, this guy’s off
— Not amused to announce that the laundromats are open for business, albeit with amusement park lines
— Tank puts his finger on the Blues Bros cheese whiz clip
— What a coincidence that the Accidental President was so accident prone … but hey give him a break,… he had weak knees from playing o-line at The Big House
— Speaking of the House, ChabDog reminds everyone that Ford did in fact make the leap to the Oval Office from people’s chamber, not the Senate
— Trying to give more love to Sarah Jane Moore (not Miller) in the pantheon of would-be assassins … sorry Sarah … Gerry was cut in the cloth of the indestructible Inspector Clouseau
— Sorry Brady … they don’t pay guys to finish up their career in New England … you need to go to LA for that…
— And who’ll step in to fill the gap at Gillette? Dandy Andy? Joe Sacko? Broken down Cam? A wife swap with Jameis? Pay to play with Peyton? Go full monty with the running game and bring back Timmy T-bone. “Well, what the hell we supposed to do, you moron?”
–Moderately mediocre game managers who won Super Bowls … a surprisingly big secret society
— Broadway Joe was overrated? Fleming flings the sexy stats, despite the guy’s great image in hoes
— Hear Joe Brown get down and dirty with Jack Lemmon
— They call it an “Adam’s” apple for a reason
— Thank god Herman Wouk wasn’t “woke”
— Brian reminds us that no Astros have been affected by the Coronavirus … they saw the signs before anyone else.
— How about putting Congressional insider stock trading on lockdown?
— Who’s Dan Rostenkowskowitz? Chairman of the “Keep the change” Ways and Means Committee. A truly corrupt politician in the grand tradition of the Land of Lincoln, Obama, and.. Daly and Blago
— David Bowie announces a benefit concert for combating Covid 19, where he’ll sing “Little China virus”. If only he’d tell Trump, “Oh baby just you shut your mouth.” The cast from Monty Python will also be there, singing “I like Chinese”
— Laraine Newman’s impression of Regan will really make your head spin (not to mention hers) (“The bed must be on the floor … the bed is on my foot… the bed is on my foot”) (“Your mother eats kitty litter … nobody talks about my momma”)
— And how about our Exorcist clip with lovable Linda, … it’s short and not too sweet
— DeBlasio in wax? That guy wouldn’t even qualify for ear plugs.
— Understanding how Newark sank to its current status as our seminal sanctuary city for murders
— Speaking of killing it, Marc becomes Frank by calling in from his blue, red and silver submarine, and attempts to twist the proverbial knife … but he’s just too far removed to be threatening
— Caruso skirts the question of how he feels now that Brady is a Buc/Pirate, but his misplaced faith in Jared “the stiff” Stidham belies credulity
— Being so grateful to be alive, we issue our final takedown with the Grateful Dead’s “Shakedown Street”

On the “Concubine Quarantine” CDST Show (Part 1):

On the “Concubine Quarantine” CDST Show (Part 1):
— Despite another alarm clock mishap and some very nice dreams that went on a tad too long, ChabDog is somehow ready in time for the special Quarantine show…. for all those with a vested interest in choosing “Option B”
— Fat, drunk and stupid is no way to go through even a single evening
— How about a return to normalcy … along with Warren G. Harding, we can hardly wait for this turn of events
— Getting philosophical about the economic pros and cons of prohibition vs. regulation
— Taking gay pride in how my 13 year old neutered yorkie-poo forced a bigger, hormonal male pooch onto his dance card.
— Biking seems to be the perfect way to get your distance training in with the requisite social distancing … just watch out for the people trying to sidle up to you on the park benches.
— Someone needs to remind the beach goers in South FLA that this year, Spring Break is officially cancelled.
— Getting our arms around the shocking paper shortage at the local grocers (“Did you get me my cheez whiz, boy?)
— Well-read sheds light on why there’s nothing particularly aristocratic about the “Aristocrats”; yes, I would say most cats have better manners than many of these comedians, but most are unavoidably entertaining.
— Reliving Curt Gowdy’s herculean howl while narrating Kenny Stabler’s incredible completion to Clarence Davis through a Sea of Hands. And then we survey player reactions to the unbelievable impudence of a crazy Black Hole fan, who dared to sucker punch the Fins’ Manny Fernan.
— Exactly who was on the ultra-dominant 1992 Super Bowl champ Skins; apparently it was largely devoid of Hall of Famers.
— Why it makes sense to turn a blind eye to the hysteria … yes, please let me go to my happy place
— The youthful beyond his years Brian Keller cannot remember what he was doing in the 1950s, but comes through by confirming he was in Blackfoot Idaho when JFK was shot.
— What it’s like being a male handling the switchboard at Ma Bell.
— Ford’s predilection for advancement with the Executive Branch, unsupported by actually winning an election

On the “Ending our Weekend with Bernie” CDST Show (Part 2):

https://www.facebook.com/ChabDog/

On the “Ending our Weekend with Bernie” Show (Part 2):
— On this day off from work, treat yourself to a classic clip from Ferris Buehler’s day off (“roll her old bones on over here, and I’ll dig up your daughter”…”tell you what @#$#$#$, if you don’t like my policies you can just come down here and kiss my old white butt … pucker up buttercup” … “pardon my French, but you’re an asshole”)
— Who said “I was a Democratic caucus”? The same guy who said “I’m Joe Biden’s husband, and I work for Cedrick Richmond.”
— Joe Piscopo’s take on Tricky Dick … don’t miss it… (If you lie and cheat and betray a nation’s trust … people will hate you … and they’ll pay through the nose; if you really want to get inside Dick Nixon’s head, you have to use a proctoscope)
— ChabDog recalls his favorite Giants’ fan … Larry Dickman from The Enforcer (sometimes being a dork can be charming)
— We zoom in on the Pens-Caps Sunday matinee game (some color commentary from a terrific Met Division match up)
— Giving a second look at Oklahoma City; Chris Paul has those guys playing some ball
— By the way, what would it look like if NBA players put on skates?
— The challenge for getting into hockey (it’s just working too hard)
— Hillary waits, while Bloomberg baits.
— Giving mini-Mike, the elderly tyke equal time (yes the stakes are high, but what was with that prime time under-performance)
— With the mesmerizing narration of Anthony Hopkins, as Bligh narrowly escapes becoming brunch, then successfully navigates over 3600 miles to Timor without a compass, and based on nothing more than a hunch (“Row for your lives!” “Takes us next to islands, where cannibalism is taken down to a science” “All I can promise you is relentless pain and hardship … I promise you our chances for victory are fair” (hey sort of sounds like Biden))
— A very entertaining, but ultimately premature tribute to Don Criqui (no ChabDog, thankfully he is still alive and well) (listen in to relive memorable moments, including Tom Dempsey clubbing it 63 yards, Herm Edwards and the incredible fumble return that make Psarcik a dirty word in the Meadowlands, and, with broadcast buddy Trumpy, an animated war of Ohio in the early 80’s between the Marty’s Brownies and Wyche’s Bungles)
— Words worth repeating from Pete (Well-read thinks he’s being underrepresented at the polls)
— But can we come up with anything easier to spell and pronounce (and more catchy) than Buttigieg.
— Well-read unearths a particularly catchy action photo of Kaepy
— Living it up with Liberace: “Why don’t you come work for me? As what? I want to be everything to you, Scot? Why would a grown man want to adopt another grown man?”
— Sending us off with “Send it to me”

— PS — will we ever see another Corona Beer commercial, or is that brand name permanently bad karma. All we know is that hotline is not ringing off the hook.

https://www.spreaker.com/user/godefylife/ending-our-week-with-bernie-cdst-show

 

On the “Ending our Weekend with Bernie” CDST Show (Part 1):

https://www.spreaker.com/user/godefylife/ending-our-week-with-bernie-cdst-show

On the “Ending our Weekend with Bernie” Show:
— Frank cranks out the Soviet National Anthem
— Some of us aren’t so excited about the New Deal II, and find watching Bernie point to be a real drag
— The new heavyweight champ Tyson looks like a cross between Wepner and Quarry.
— Handicapping what’s left in the Democrat field of dreams
— It’s only February, but when I watch Uncle Joe, all I can think of is Uncle June, knocking on the neighbors door, in pajamas and asking for ice cream
— ChabDog suspects he might be more than just a Boomer … he’s a Bloomer
— Because he’s such a threat (though according to LIzzie Boredom not a tall one), to lighten the mood, maybe Mike should use Mel Brooks as a body double in the next debate?
— Lawyers use redlining … why can’t arrogant billionaires do the same?
— “Pete, you lost to my friend Joe Donnelley [and you aren’t a proven winner”. For shame Amy, since when is winning in Minny grounds for asserting executive privilege over Buttigieg.
— Lots George Steinbrenner, along with a George Peterson interlude, which gets us in the mood for more Bernie. “She’s a heartbreaker, lovemaker, dreammaker ”
— Why Rob Man-fraud doesn’t have a problem with cheating Houston keeping its big piece of metal/MLB would be placating the out-for-blood public by vacating.
— LA banking on Price being money in the playoffs (but they know starting him is a non-starter), while Rendon hails a cab for the home of the hittable Halos
— Very sad about bulldog Swagger being taken away from the Dog Pound in an open casket; later in the show we go back to the glory years of Brian Sipe, as touted by Trump and Criqui
— The perfect Pelosi, as done by Kammy Burnett productions … yes this performance raised a few eyebrows
— Tyson gives his opponent a real Marchand moment when he a wet one to Wilder
— Slogging Leafs wilt and fold when their Zamboni driver fills in as the emergency goalie … for the other team
— The significance of “Patrick” as a major name in NHL history
— On the Miracles on Ice having slid to the right
— Wrecking the Aztecs bubble
— 8 should be enough for purposes of those presently unavoidable conference tournaments (currently, basket of deplorables IUPUI could go on a magical run and get an invite)
— Who’s in the MEAC, and where do they reside? We know one is named hopeless Howard. We read out the rest, including my personal favorite …
— “I’d like to make a Botox appointment tomorrow… wait a minute, I’m Nancy Pelosi … don’t mess with me … you don’t mess with Nancy Pelosi…no way Nancy has gray hair .. rip rip… I don’t hate nobody…. I’ll drink to that ,,,, not only did I rip my State of the Union Speech, I also ripped … my birth certificate”

On the “Don’t need another cup of Joe” CDST Show (Part 2):

On the “Don’t need another cup of Joe” CDST Show (Part 2):
— Falling into a pleasant time warp as we chug down the Rocky Horror Picture Show soundtrack (that Blowfeld certainly can dance, and how about that sweet transvestite from transsexual Transylvania)
— (I’m glad we caught you at home. Could we use your phone?)
— (So come up to the lab, and see what’s on the slab).
— Going over our collective accomplishments during hour 1, including a live plant inside the XFL game.
— Somehow ChabDog forgot about “The Vipers” from Tampa Bay
— Biden’s biding his time until South Carolina, but he just keeps sliding
— Eric, we agree there is nothing savory to recount about the Harvey trial … the intersextion of entertainment and law and order
— Hear Jack Lemon clear his sinuses in a very odd couple of ways HMMMAH, HMMAH, HMUHH, HMMAH
— Super Bowl memories …Well-read finds another excuse to mention Travis Henry, … then highlights Kansas City’s back-against-the-wall turnaround, San Fran’s benign neglect of the running game, and Mahomes uncanny ability to hone in on the essential connection.
— Male pattern baldness on bald display in the impeachment trial
— More anguishing (or languishing?) over the Irishman (some other scenes that just didn’t make sense)
— What was produced out of this year’s NBA trade deadline? Wiggins to GSW, Clippers get Morris, Pistons lose their security blanket in the big Drummond, and Iggy/Crowder are now crowing the South Beach bench.
— And none of us are willing to bet on Betts transforming the Doyyers
— Tank returns, briefly armed with a blue tooth and a fashion update from the game (hideous green helmets and jerseys with gargoyles)
— It’s only 10:30 am, but the TV is already being polluted by all this infernal Oscar hype
— We look in on The Ohio State taking on Wisconsin.
— ChabDog’s concise take on the oft-forgotten NHL
— SNL Cold Open, with some very shaky Susan Collins, that sneaky Mitch, and Jon Lovitz doing Dershowitz … wasn’t the sh-Devil the cute blonde from Happy Gilmore?
— Why Mr. Peanut went to Hell.
— Eric’s question about whether those XFL’ers wear socks goes unanswered
— Getting psyched up about Siakam (ChabDog explains)
— 7 legitimate non-dwarfs in the NBA West
— The scary truth about the human toll paid to corona virus (100X)
— We’re sure we won’t be anteater eaters.
— A classic Ferrie rant from JFK, then we off and running with, “Before they make me run” and reach our final final resting place with The Ballad of Billy the Kid.

On the “Don’t need another cup of Joe” CDST Show (Part 1):

On the “Don’t need another cup of Joe” CDST Show (Part 1):

— Who’ll stop the rain, or the high tide, at ChabDog Sports’ Newport Beach studios?
— It’s time for Spring, XFL.. the New York Guardians and the Tampa Bay Vipers; watch out for those Vipers (they were real tough in the Sopranos.. “We’re with the Vipers”) … and can’t wait to watch Josh “Tender” McGloin
— Turning on a night light for Coach Knight at Bloomington (the reconciliation was good to see) …. scoping out a cabinet position (Health and Human Services?)
— Tank celebrates the demise of the Iowa Dummocrat Caucus
— Was that woman who had buyer’s remorse after donning those “Pete” stickers a plant after all (this story sounds beyond belief)
— The untold story behind Butti’s beautiful showing (he won all those coin tosses at Bernie’s expense)
— What Warren really needs … some new shoes
— Reliving when Nancy did the Full Monty with Trumpster’s script
–ChabDog sticks up for Pelosi’s impeccable persona
— Why the 2020 election may be another Subway Series.
— But it doesn’t it in fact seem possible to pull yourself up by your own bootstraps (how about those Bloomberg terminals)
— Some political nicknames should be reserved for the trolls on the internet
— We open up the phone lines to college b-ball … yes it’s time
— Perhaps a last ditch push by previously compacted UCLA
— A quick run through the Big 10, and then it’s on to Bob’s 10 best soundbites (“You don’t have to bleep one single #@$#$ing word of this”/”I try to help you guys in this profession you’ve chosen … it’s one to two steps above prostitution”/”This is really good … see the blood drip out of it”/”When my time on earth is gone and my activities here are passed, I want they bury me upside down and my critics can kiss my ass”/”My entire adult life I have no conception of this term ‘game face'”)
— Wondering what it might be like to roll with “The Joel” (as in Joel Olsteen)
— Breaking down why the NHL is becoming an increasingly difficult sell (they aren’t being given good shelf space on ESPN)
— Nice jamming done by team GOP of those opposition party phone lines
— Going back to Silent Cal, who saw fit to sit on the sidelines and not participate in 1928, as we TR in 1908; reflecting on Cleveland’s dual wins, broken up by a loss to the immortal Benjamin Harrison
— ChabDog stands corrected … the man who ran against him in 1884 was one James G. Blaine (not Greeley)
— Where The Irishman fell flat (despite the Sohio sign)
— Trump’s noble crusade against nepotism … firing the Vindman Twins
— Up close and personal with Sneaky Little Mitch and Lindsay Vallerie Beaurreguard Matlock Graham
— And Trumpster walking into to testify using a Weinstein walker (priceless)
— Remembering the timeless Kirk Douglas (some choice clips and interviews), along with a little Rich Little (See Dick run.
See Jane run. See Dick and Jan and Spot and Puff run. See Dick catch up to Puff. See Dick grab Puff. See Dick smash Puff in the face)

 

On the “Who Will Come Out On Tops” CDST Show (Part 2):

On the “Who Will Come Out On Tops” CDST Show (Part 2):
— A monologue from Woody that you won’t soon forget (I turned 40 … I’m balding slightly on top … the balding viral type … (like John Roberts and Trump’s lawyer “Baloney Cipollone”) … the universe is expanding … shades of Greta worried about global warming … the universe will be expanding for billions of years Alvy)
— “Let’s turn out the lights and play hide the salam” …”If I have grass or alcohol, I get unbearably wonderful” … Woody breaks out the red light bulb for some Old New Orleans essence …If I get a laugh from a person who is high, it doesn’t count because they’re always laughing
— What is so fascinating about a bunch of pituitary cases trying to stuff a basketball through a hoop?
— Why is that anti-Weinerstein movement called “Me Too” … do more people want to be victims of horrible Harvey or abhorrent Anthony?
— Need to pick your Secretary of Education? Find me a 10 yr old.
— Memories of Howeird Dean … “We’re on to New Hampshire”
— Post-partum Super Bowl Blues (what on earth is a couch potato to do?)
— Well-read worries that women refs will be calling up penalties from two years ago (no comment)
— ChabDog wonders why can’t we just openly embrace those particular problems endemic to both sexes/what’s the hang up with men going for those little enhancers … let’s hear it for supplements, like the ones being pushed by the Big Hurt … “And she’ll like it too”
— Meanwhile in the world of sports… unrepentant, tight-lipped Houston refuses to admit it did anything wrong… Could the Astros possibly be bigger asses if they tried?
— Mookie to the Dodgers for a starting pitcher and a fortune cookie (Buehler? Buehler?) … and throw in Chris Taylor for good tape measure
— Sorry that Phil Rizzo died at age 90 … but we’re relieved Rizzuto is still alive and kicking
— The Grandyman can … a B+ player who new how to reach those grandstands (not HOF numbers, but perhaps good enough for Mets or Tigers honors)
— Brady needs a National Lampoon Vegas Vacation
— Why can’t cursing Djokovic be as composed on the court as Dvorak?
— Analyzing the current class of NFL inductees … we can think of a number of guys who should have edged our Edgerin
— Find out everything you wanted to know about Duke Slater
— A certain Hall of Fame name “Emerson Boozer” … way better than Mack Speedy or Ed Sprinkle
— Subpoenas from the McClellan Committee… no problemo for Nicholson’s Hoffa as he confronts Bobby Kennedy at the DOJ offices (“I don’t know what you’re trying to prove, but you’re proving it” “You don’t impress me and your office don’t impress me … bunch of rum runners”… “@#$@#$@# your brother”)
— John Candy as a crooked lawyer in JFK (“truth is I never met the dude … all I know is sometimes he sends me some cases”)
— And it’s Maahk Caruso to the rescue
— More on why Ben R. doesn’t get the benefit of the doubt from Patriot patrons
— Doesn’t Andy Reid of the Chefs remind you of the chef on the Burger Chef logo? But who’s Jeff?
— Someone prematurely stakes a claim for the Niners
— A prop bet that there won’t be any Corona Beer commercials during the game (Tony Romo is crestfallen)
— Someone was drinking the major Haterade today
— Our cantakerous cabbie declares open war on uber drivers … especially ones from Morocco
— A demographic survey of douche bags in East Boston
— A warning … don’t do coke with either David Lee Roth or Karl Malden
— By majority decree, we determine Cora’s misdeeds were strictly limited to Houston
— We finish with some very pleasing topical ointment from Mick and the boys

 

 

 

On the “Who Will Come Out On Tops” CDST Show (Part 1):

On the “Who Will Come Out On Tops” CDST Show (Part 1):
— When it comes to winning hockey games, the Devils are definitely missing the details (particularly when it comes to holding leads in the 3rd period)
— And as for the cold Wings, that’s a similarly sad story; we’re a long way removed from the fat and happy years of the late 1990s/2000s
— the latest news about young gun Jack Hughes (you’re not in 17 & unders anymore)
— all about the belly flops of PK Subban
— We are at a complete loss to explain the new format for the utterly useless NBA All-star game, but in any event the changes won’t make it more watchable
— Hey Tom Brady bought a house in Tennessee … will he be traded for Tannehill?
— Various off the prop bets for the big game (we forgot one … will J. Lo reach a new low in the halftime extravaganza)
— Tank hits the road with his compass set on a laundromat
— Well-read tells us why not to go with Garoppolo
— Matriculating back in time to the last KC Super Bowl triumph … Stram hamstrings the Vikes with the immortal “65 toss power trap” (Len Dawson provides the commentary)
— Why most of us don’t go for Frisco (Keller is the lone hold out)
— Facebook groups are getting some serious play during halftime, and Brian’s the primary beneficiary
— Eric explains what Mr. Peanut and his no-so-imminent demise has to do with Kobe
— ChabDog tries in vain to interest our panel in the Aussie Open
— Why tennis isn’t always for wives and girlfriends
— Raquetball = enjoyable, poor man’s squash
— a tutorial on how cultivate the George Carlin look (that’s a whale of a pony tail)
— Who the heck is Bootle-judge and what is his decisionmaking authority
— Scott (Anthony?) Weiner … where is he now?
— Another public health emergency — Super Bowl Hangover
— The ecstasy and joy of a leap year
— David Ferrie emits plenty of ferriemones (solid gold from Oliver Stone) (“it’s a mystery, wrapped in a riddle, inside an enigma”)

NFL Update, Recap and Perspectives, Sunday, 2-2-20:

NFL Update:

  • Chiefs chase away 50 years of demons and are now champions of the world, after utilizing their Mahomes-field advantage for all it’s worth in a momentous 4th quarter comeback.  With their amazing, courageous QB, all-pro tight end, speedy receivers and accomplished coach, KC may have well be enjoying multiple titles over the next decade.  And give their defense credit for stepping up when they had to.  As for the Niners, they’ll be mulling over a curiously conservative approach in crunch time, which sealed their doom in the moments of truth.  Midway through the last quarter, all they needed was a few first downs, but they didn’t have the killer instinct and opened the door just a crack.  That was all the AFC Champs need to carry the trophy home. #Chiefs #FortyNiners
Categories: NFL

On the “Show With No Name” CDST Show (Part 2):

https://www.spreaker.com/user/godefylife/the-show-with-no-name-cdst-show

On “The Show With No Name” CDST Show (Part 2):
— On a very sad, foggy day in LA, we close with “Raindrops keep falling on my head” and bid farewell to the immortal Black Mamba
— Walter Huston on why going for the gold can be hazardous to your health, particularly in the Sierra Madre (“I know what gold does to men’s souls” … “I think I’ll go to sleep and dream about piles of gold getting bigger and bigger and bigger”)
— It’s not exactly a replay of the 2002 National Championship Game, but we enjoy the latest iteration of MD-Indiana
— The Terps have size and speed, but do they have the balls to win on the road against good competition
— The discussion turns college admissions, and the travels of Well-read through the backwoods of the ACC
— Weeding out the truth underlying New Jersey’s reputation as the Garden State (You live in Jersey … what exit?)] — Deconstructing the Titanic collapse after being uncomfortably ahead last week in Arrowhead
— What if SF prevails? Sounds like a very hostile work environment in Beantown for TB 12.
— When it came to passes by Jimmy G. against the slacker Packers, 8 was enough.
— No Well-read, Travis Henry has retired.
— A prayer for good commercials … preferably ones of the stoner variety
— And now a Larry David break …never question the driving privileges of a guy in a wheelchair … texting while wheel turning is always permitted … suggested names for a boy adopted from China (“Wang isn’t a bad name … then you have the whole “ang” family … bang … tang … Chinese overtones with a little jolt to it”) (one of us says, “he reminds me of me”)
— Cheryl pronounces she’s leaving (“I’m leaving,… I can’t do this anymore … I just called you from an airplane .. the TIVO guy was here .. I saved all your shows … it’s not just about the TIVO … it’s about talking during sex … who can’t tell real crab from fake crab … I just realized, there’s no other side [to Larry]”)
— By the way, is there any point to having underwear without a fly zone? Is this really a worthless invention? We debate the question.
— A good woman who doesn’t hold it against you when she’s talking and you’re not all there is hard to find
— Tony enjoys some canoli’s for the beached whale
— What the heck is the “maloik”?
— “Hey Puss, did she even really exist?”
— “Not in the face, okay?” (this was a pointless request given where he ended up)
— Trying to understand why Pat Parisi was taking a leak in the boss’s pool
— Butch Cassidy’s short course on how to win a knife fight, without even using a knife (Lerch was really lurching forward after Newman’s surprise low blow)
— Speaking of Paul, hear his short course on how to bait a goalie in “Slapshot”
— My how the worm has turned in terms of the NBA’s association with China
— ChabDog previews what’s left of the Aussie Open, including Kyrgios vs. Nadal (bad blood running rampant), Monfils vs. Thiem (Thiem-work will prevail), Medvedev vs. Warwrinka and Rublev vs. Zverev (what’s with all the ‘evs)
— A crash course on how to pronounce Fucsovics
— Sandgren vs. Federer (look for a surprise)
— Raonic vs. Djokovic (go with flexiblity over pure power)
— What’s that African flag in the Women’s Draw (Well-read explains) (we pinpoint who the heavyweights are)

On the “Show With No Name” CDST Show (Part 1):

On the “Show With No Name” CDST Show (Part 1):
— Tank calls in with a major beef about his “Go-Dell” computer, which makes his magic ice scraper look like the bargain of the year/this man needs an IT trouble shooter, or perhaps a tech psychologist
— ‘Froing fresh light on Don Imis’ critique of RU Women’s Basketball
— Without any football to watch, it’s time to look in on the rodeo
— Everything you wanted to know but were afriad to ask about the White Man’s Burden
— Socialism = diet Communism?
— Mets hire Louie from Taxi as their new manager … or is it Rojas
— Eric’s advice … just scrub the hard drive (no big deal)
— GGGGGG Gone
— Analyzing the huge stamp on the back of a prominent male tennis player… what exactly did Fabio have in mind?
— Not fake news … the Saturday edition of Impeachment TV got lower ratings than the WNBA game of the week
— Name that Senator from the riveting Nixon hearings
— The latest new bumper sticker for Elizabeth Warren: Strawberry Fields Forever
— Hey Well-read … who’s Bootlejudge? Is he related to Beetlejuice?
— ChabDog tries to start a fire for moneyman Tommy Steyer
— Frankie Midnight tries ratcheting up interest in a late game run by Nurse Ratchet
— Frank bemoans the fact that revisionist history has been erased from his device’s memory
— Bringing our troubled co-host back to sanity with the ultra smooth tones of Andy Williams doing Burt Bacharach (the voice on loan from god) (“Walk on by”, the “Look of Love”, “Always Something There to Remind Me”)
— All about the latest cigar bar shooting (there was a pre-existing condition involved)
— The low down on why Maryland My Maryland cannot be trusted on the road against a quality (or near quality) team (we smell trouble for Turgeon’s turtles in Bloomerton)
— A play by play color commentary for Match Game … Among other questions that inquiring minds want to know: What is the deal with Rayburn’s obnoxiously long microphone? What was Charles Nelson Reilly’s claim to everlasting fame (give my regards to Broadway)? Has there ever been a better porn stache than Richard Dawson’s? Was that Kid Dynomite wearing a pork pie hat ala Mush Mouth and the Memphis Tams? What happened to fashion sense in the 70’s?
— Uncovering the truth about Cesar Romero … no joke about what the Joker was covering up
— What’s to like about the MD state flag on ChabDog’s Ravens jersey … it’s Steelers colors
— Our preview of the upcoming NBA Finals: Bucks vs. Clippers (that’s Armageddon)
— a contra virus update (time to batten down the hatches)
— Ode to the Williams sisters (Tank sings “Traces of Love” and bidding so long to the sad sacks)
— Sifting through the shrapnel kicked off by “Bombshell”
— Eric please explain how to nicely ask someone to hike their skirt up?
— Reaffirming our collective belief in the Chiefs
— Auditioning for the Regan voiceover in “The Exorcist 3”

On the “Mid-January Affect” CDST Show (Part 2):

https://www.spreaker.com/user/godefylife/the-mid-january-affect-show_1

On the Mid-January Affect CDST Show (Part 2):
— Best of the Western trailers is on display as we showcase “The Great Northfield Minnesota Raid” (Cliff Robertson as Cole Younger, with his curious bullet proof vest and Robert Duvall as Jesse James, escaping from the scene of the crime dressed in old lady’s garb), “The Long Riders” (Keach, Carradine, Quaid and Guest brothers) and “The Wild Bunch” (William Holden’s performance as Pike will make you hold your breach, Robert Ryan is the ever captivating lawman on his trail, Warren Oats gets drunk and gets married and Borgnine is, well, Borgnine) …
— We can’t see our way from staying away from Tennessee … looks like our glasses were fogged up (and Andy was doing more on the sidelines than ordering up from the Denny’s menu)
— Eric’s attempt to lecture on the colonization of Australia … despite never having made the trip (boy was my ass sore after going there)
— ChabDog does a mini-handicap of the Aussie Open Men’s field, but is handicapped without his top 32 list (we need more than the picture of Berdych and Queen Ester)
— White men can’t jump … and neither can John Isner, but on his smash down serve, it doesn’t matter.
— Santa is beard boy? And then she saw Jimmy Connors … how exciting … except that it did conjure up images of Cousin Eddie from Vegas Vacation
— Watching pre-game for Chiefs-Titans and admiring all the sharp dressed men
— Nailing the trivial question about non-participants in the NFC Championship game since 1991 (Tank gets it faster than he can eat blueberry pancakes)
— Time to put an APB out for Massachusetts Maaahk? He needs to show up for his job interview in Vegas, where he’ll be lifting as a bouncer and Ubering/Lyfting as a driver.
— No Andy Reid isn’t losing weight; he’s just dressed in black.
— Troy P. is definitely head and shoulders ahead of his competition for the Hall.
— An extended discussion of Plunkett vs. Eli for enshrinement at Canton. Going back in time to remember the Just Win Baby Raiders of the mid-70s to mid-80’s (The Tuz = O.W. Matthews from North Dallas Forty/Lester the Molester/Snake/Mark Moving Van Eeghen/Cliff “Speed Kills” Branch/Jack Tatum/Mann and Guy as kicker and punter)/Todd “Renaissance Man” Christensen
— Frank joins the fray and makes impassioned bids for voting in Coach Flores and Drew Pearson
— And would somebody please explain how Gastineau did not get in … let alone Klecko
— Diagramming an Italian Dog (pizza bread, potatoes and doggies, with very optional ketchup) (got to eat them in New York, because that’s where they have the good water)
— All about the infamous no-show watcher for the Bloomfield Ave. water tower in Newark, and how to get a park named after you by doing but living offa the graft
— What’s up with RU b-ball; Scarlet Knights are finally up for the fight, maybe for the first time since ’76
— Big doings in the Big 10
— Don’t even try to give the host grief for the Bruins being in ruins
— Some unforgettable clips with The Gipper
— Saturday Night’s All Right For Fighting … and so is Sunday morning

On the “Mid-January Affect” CDST Show (Part 1):

Mar 28, 2019; Seattle, WA, USA; Boston Red Sox manager Alex Cora (20) reacts during batting practice against the Seattle Mariners at T-Mobile Park. Mandatory Credit: Joe Nicholson-USA TODAY Sports

On the “Mid-January Affect” CDST Show (Part 1):

— Don’t forget to access our show on i-heart radio, i-tunes, and elsewhere on the world wide web
— Raw doggin it at Dicky D’s (Italian dogs are on the menu today for Tank, who’s firing on all cylinders by going with the Niners and Chiefs)
— We announce that “The Mets’ season has been officially ruined” … thank you very little little smug Alex for dropping that dime on Beltran and giving the Wilponizi’s no choice but to show him the door
— But let’s get some clarity … are we penalizing the Houston players (or ex-players) or not?
— It’s pretty darn clear everyone on the Stros was listening for trash cans and getting buzzed for good measure
— Eric will only be placated by the Stros and Bosox recent titles being vacated
— Explaining the hidden story behind the 1951 Shot Heard Round the World (binoculars and flashlights were getting lots of use)
— Nobody stole bean ball Bob Gibson’s signs
— Time for MLB to take inventory on those pesky Apple watches
— New replacements for I like getting licked Mickey — Edgardo “Winning is so bourgeois” Perez or some guy from the minors who is 500 games below .500
— It’s all Trump’s (no Marc’s) fault.
— It’s time for Frank to fly and feed on his furters, but that Keller feller most capably fills the void
— Will the Astros be forced to foot Hugh Darvish’s therapy bill? It’s certainly a whopper.
— When it came to keeping things close with Frisco, most of us thought Green Bay would find a way … and boy were we wrong
— For a guy that’s a powerful, punishing runner, upright, chiseled Henry has more than a little Walker in him
— Ryan Tannehill=a poor man’s Trent Dilfer
— Gonna give Well-read flack for slipping Flacco into the NFC Championship convo .. (missing a few vowels lol)
— More on the short half-back life of running QBs
— Another recounting of the last moments of TB 12’s failed 2019 campaign (“Well…. bye … you smell that Bill? Smells like someone died”)
— The NBA’s China Syndrome code of silence … a sad state of affairs
— Getting a little vocal about the job done by Vogel
— No the Clippers cannot play the Lake Show in the Finals
— Mike Tyson type short work by 170 pound McGregor (scary good going 0 to 40)
— A personal prayer from ChabDog to view 50 year old footage of Nancy Kwan in the square circle with the late great Sharon Tate
— Finding out why Cora needed to “clean his details” (how you like them apples?)
— Do you like women? A real loaded question … particularly for a 7-yr old. I dream of Jeannie, and Tsa Tsa (“Olivah? Olivah?)
— Yours truly was rock solid in the Sports Rock regular season pool, but the post season was certainly not kind
— David Bugg … a super nice guy even for a Boys fan … and he’s certainly a stone cold killer when it comes to sizing things up in the playoffs

NFL Update, Recap and Perspectives, Sunday, 1-19-20:

https://www.facebook.com/ChabDog/

NFL Update:

  • Green Bay’s charmed life comes to a crashing halt in Santa Clara, as Raheem found seam, after seam, after seam, and Nicky Boy Bosa pancaked Mister Rodgers more than a few times (a performance that would’ve made Joe Pesci proud). For those of us looking for an exciting, hard fought tug of war, the Niners would have none of it … obliterating the static Pack with a first half onrush that was simply a suffocating red tide. These guys look hungry for more and may well have the athletic credentials to hang with the Chiefs (and then some). #Packers #FortyNiners
  • Speed kills, and today the Chiefs’ offense made TN’s linebacks (and entire defense for that matter) look like it was stuck in cement. Mahomes was in total control … even when he shouldn’t have been; where was the designated spy to keep KC’s QB honest and towing the line of scrimmage. As good as their game plan was last week for Action Jackson, today’s blueprint seemed devoid of details and advance planning. Bend but not break became bend over and get paddled severely. And what about Hammer Henry? He became largely irrelevant once the Titans found themselves down by two scores, and desperate for a quick tally/frantic rally. Congrats to Andy Reed and his team for taking care of business and moving on for the final, epic confrontation in Miami. #Titans #Chiefs
Categories: NFL

NFL Update, Recap and Perspectives, Saturday, 1-18-20:

https://www.facebook.com/ChabDog/

NFL Update:

  • GB getting 7.5? Seriously, that looks like a gift from god.
    You can count on Rodgers keeping his team in the neighborhood until the very end.
  • Gut check time tomorrow at Arrowhead. The Chiefs and their long suffering coach have finally been freed of Patriot shackles … all they need to do is conquer a team with a 9-7 record and journeyman field general who was junked by the Miami Dolphins. But we’ve seen KC riding high before, only to come crashing to earth when the rubber hit the road and things go serious. This team has the best QB in football, but one of the worst track records for choking that you’ll find anywhere … and a defense that is still, in one word, “suspect”.

    And these Titans don’t seem to fear anyone … not the Patriots, not Lamar Jackson, and certainly not the #2 seed with all the speed. If they figure out a way to limit Kelce, control the run and force Mahomes to go outside to the wide outs, along with riding the wide thighs of Hammer Henry, why can’t they get it done. This game seems closer than the spread indicates, and watch out if Tennessee has the lead in the 4th. When it comes to extended periods of suffering, the visitors have just as much to complain about (20 years since they fell one measly yard short). And Vrabel may have learned a thing or do from Belichick about how to read Reid.

Categories: NFL

Law Office of Brandon S. Chabner

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for more information, go to www.chabnerlaw.com and mention promo code “CHABDOG” for a 20% discount on our regular hourly rate.

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