Because sports should never run your life ... retorts for sports

Category Archives: Golf

2019 US Open at Pebble Beach:

2019 US Open at Pebble Beach:

  • 2019 is shaping up to be a year of memorable turnarounds with Tiger’s Masters, the Blues’ last to first run to the Stanley Cup, and now Gary Woodland finding the promised land in the US Open. Congratulations to the KU grad for keeping his cool in the face of the usual rigorous challenge from Koepka.

British Open Update: Round Four

British Open Update:

  • For the first time in history, raising the Claret Jug becomes an Italian Job, as Molinari methodically motors to a very impressive victory. A star studded leader board simply could not keep up, but it’s good for golf that Woods seems relevant again in the major discussion.

British Open Update: Round Three

British Open Update:

  • Jordan is now well below the par limbo line, setting the pace with a spectacular eagle 2 on hole no. 1, but shuffling Schauffele and creative Kisner are keeping up with him and a host of players are within shouting distance … including Tiger at -5; could this be the year his major curse is finally over?

British Open Update: Round One


British Open Update:

  • The Open opens with Mr. Kis taking care of biz, while Tiger paces in place at even par.
  • Rory smells the flowers but is still within smelling distance of the lead.
  • Right now, Henley is one the boys of Summer on Carnoustie who looks like he won’t be gone come cut time.
  • Dustin looks rusty and Padraig gets paddled.

US Open 2018 Update: Round 3 (click post for audio)

US Open 2018 Update:

  • Shock and awful play at Shinnecock, as DJ’s shots go astray, but he somehow ends up at the top in a 4-way. If you like sitting on your duff and watching duffers, this is the tournament you dreamed off.
  • Meanwhile, Mickelson makes a mockery of the rule book, all for the sake of staving off disqualification. You sound like you’re full of it, Phil…. you and that very skanky sextuple bogey you carded.

US Open 2018 Update: Round 1 (click post for audio)

US Open 2018 Update: Round 1

  • Shinnecock brings lots of cocky golfer to their knees, including:– a gory 80 for Rory
    — it wasn’t Jason’s day (79)
    — Along with Jason Scrivener, whose game was definitely nothing to write home about, Tiger, Adam and Speith get kicked in the teeth at 78
    — Phil Mickel wasn’t worth a plugged nickel with a 77.
  •  And when the dust cleared, Dustin “I’m no ordinary” Johnson headed up a modest quartet at -1… oh boy!
  • Hey where’s Jean van de velde when you need him?  Shinnecock apporte beaucoup de golfeur arrogant à leurs genoux, y compris:- un gore 80 pour Rory
    – Ce n’était pas le jour de Jason (79)
    – Avec Jason Scrivener, dont le jeu n’avait absolument rien d’extraordinaire, Tiger, Adam et Speith se font botter les dents à 78 ans.
    – Phil Mickel ne valait pas un nickel branché avec un 77.

    Et quand la poussière s’est dissipée, Dustin “je ne suis pas ordinaire” Johnson a dirigé un modeste quatuor à -1 … oh mon garçon!


2018 Masters Update — Round 4

2018 Masters Update:

  • Redoubtable Reed slurps up the glory of a truly historic Masters conquest in his power purple … or is it magenta? Whatever the color, Patrick was certainly magnificent in holding off a host of worthy competitors and has a future as bright as his shirt, which goes perfectly with Augusta’s signature flowers.

2018 Masters Update — Round 3

2018 Masters Update:

  • Rory makes a narrow escapes after doing some serious manscaping in the azealias.
  • Reed made even more good reads today, but his 3-shot lead can’t fee that cushy with ultra competitive Rory making noise in second place. And also within striking distance are Rickie Fowler, sans his pencil thin moustache, and Spaniard Jon Rahm, who was strutting around the course like Batman’s King Tut, both of whom shot torrid 65s.

2018 Masters Update — Round 2

2018 Masters Update — Round 2:

  • Full speed ahead for Reed, who has a somewhat firm grasp of the 2nd round lead, though Marc unleashes some crazy good shots as his closest pursuer. Meanwhile, Woods spends far too much time in the Woods (and elsewhere), and Sergio leaves early to chow down at KFC.

2018 Masters Update — Round 1

2018 Masters Update — Round 1:

No amount of conditioning prepared the svelte Finau for his spastic, uncoordinated moon walk in the par 3 contest, but he bucks up and hangs at the Masters, trailing leader Jordan by only two. Speaking of playing through injuries, tiger is still in the hunt at plus 1.

Sneak preview of the new and improved “vote” questions on ChabDog Sports Blog:

Sneak preview:
1. Which QB will be the first to go down with an extended-game injury: (a) Jaywalking Jay Cutler; (b) Cleveland’s signal caller, whomever he is; (c) Dandy Andy Dalton, the red headed Bungling stepchild; (d) Captain Kirk Cousins; (e) Carson Not So Rosy Palmer; or (f) Carson George Wendtz.
2. What was the worst pick yet on ChabDog Sports Talk? (a) ChabDog picking the Jags in Week 2; (b) Marc saying there’s no @#$@#$ way we can lose to Carolina; (c) Eric insisting Buffalo had no chance against Denver; (d) Every freaking pick Frankie Midnight made on Week 4; or (e) Drew insisting that the Cubs had to choke last year.
3. Who is the sexiest tennis or golf wife/companion (recent past also qualifies)? (a) Ester “the 700 year itch” Berdych; (b) Mrs. Feliciano Lopez; (c) gobbledygook Gulbus’ love interest; (d) the counterpart to KA; (e) Caroline Wozniacki (if you count her as attached to ex-boyfriend Rory); or (f) Sugarpova (if attached to Baby Fed).

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