Because sports should never run your life ... retorts for sports

Category Archives: MLB

MLB Update, Recap and Perspectives: Friday, 7-20-18 (click post for audio)

MLB Update:

  • WAS was looking like a has been, what with fragile Strasburg getting ore than his feathers ruffled and Mad Max not very muffled. #Braves #Nationals
  • Friday night fever for Frisco’s Fu fighter. Go Panda, go! #Giants #Athletics
  • One cool Duda makes all the difference in the world for the Royals. #Twins #Royals
  • Price was throwing the pill that was making the Tigers pretty ill, as the Red Sox roll, 1 to nil. #RedSox #Tigers
  • Carlos Santana makes sure the Phils take his advice about “Winning” with a game changing performance tonight… and he doesn’t intend to let them lose again. #Padres #Phillies
  • With practically nothing to gain and playing with the Wilponsies’ money, Cespy and the Mets give the Yankees another kick in the teeth. #Mets #Yankees
  • Cardinal ire peaked with ChabDog’s recent critique, and havoc is what they wreak with an end-of-workweek drubbing of Cub pitching. #Cardinals #Cubs
  • Indians bid good riddance to the Rangers, while PIrates end up way ahead of the Reds.
Categories: MLB

MLB Update, Recap and Perspectives: Tuesday, 7-17-18 (click post for audio)

Second half flashbacks by a tortured Red Sox fan:
1) The barfarama that was the 2011 collapse involving Papelbon and fried chicken in the clubhouse
2) Bucky @#$#@ing Dent
3) Aaron #@$#%ing Boone
4) Being 14 games up in 1978 and finishing second
5) Grady Little’s slow hook when it came to Pedro
6) Joe McCarthy obsessively overusing Kinder and Parnell

Categories: MLB

MLB Update, Recap and Perspectives: Sunday, 7-15-18 (click post for audio)

MLB Update:

  • After leading the NL Central for most of the year, the Brew Crew has lately made quite a mess of things, dropping a 5th straight to the happily surprised Buccos. #Pirates #Brewers
  • Right after KC was feeling a little good about itself, the White Sox let loose with a Royal flogging. #Royals #WhiteSox
  • Yanks stumble into the break, apparently apathetic about catching the Red Sox, and will need to refocus and retool if they hope to challenge for the AL East title. Sketchy relief pitching seems to be a true Achilles heel for this team. #Yankees #Indians
  • Dormant Daniel Murphy resurfaces to heap more pain and misery on the doormat Mets. #Nationals #Mets
  • Red Sox strong arm their way past Toronto, with good work from Workman and a host of other relievers; Red Sox nation continues to hold its breath, in anticipation of the stretch run to come. #BlueJays #RedSox
Categories: MLB

MLB Update, Recap and Perspectives: Friday, 7-13-18 (click post for audio)

MLB Update (click above to hear new ChabDog Sports Talk Show opening):

  • It was bound to happen at some point … Rua ruins Orioles’ hopes to emerge from their funk with a huge plunk. #Rangers #Orioles
  • Red Sox brought down to earth when Porcello decides to throw marshmallows. #RedSox #BlueJays
  • Battling Buccos aren’t about to give up, and this is amply reflected in Bell continuing to answer that proverbial Bell. Great job today Josh! #Brewers #Pirates
  • Even if they’re called the Mets, no team with Noah and deGrom should ever lose 100 games. That just can’t happen, can it? #Nationals #Mets
  • Yanks’ 9th inning rally is stifled when Didi is retired … without a gold watch. #Yankees #Indians
  • Enough is enough … Reds motor by their historic tormentors the Cards on the power of their little Scooter, destructive Dilson, and big boy Matt Harvey. #Reds #Cardinals
Categories: MLB

MLB Update, Recap and Perspectives: Thursday, 7-12-18 (click post for audio)

MLB Update:
  • Goddamn these Sox are hot….they’re even hotter in 2018 than they were in 1918…
  • Francona’s choice to stay with Kluber come hell or high water speaks volumes about the state of the Indian bullpen. Yes, you may well win the Comedy Central, but with this slate of relievers, you’re fielders will need to be pretty good retrievers come playoff time. #Indians #Yankees
  • Mets come to the rescue of the floundering Nats and their very erratic bats. #Mets #Nationals
  • Taillon has his “A” game on full display as Pirates’ enjoy the High Life against the visiting Brewers. #Brewers #Pirates
  • Phillies continue to build their case against the pro bonehead Orioles. #Phillies #Orioles
  • Rocky horror show in Denver for Arizona, as Trevor holds the pretentious D-backs by their ankles and drops them on their heads from 5 stories. #Diamondbacks #Rockies
  • Canha can certainly make the argument, that the hopelessly nondescript A’s are not in any way in awe of the World Champion Astros. No way, Jose Canseco, is that the case. #Athletics #Astros
Categories: MLB

MLB Update, Recap and Perspectives: Wednesday, 7-11-18 (click post for audio)

MLB Update:

  • Nationals’ hitting continues to wheez, while Pirates’ pitching continues to tease. #Pirates #Nationals
  • Reds scare ends in Cleveland, as Ramirez leads ridiculous rout. #Reds #Indians
  • D-back staff spends a protracted period of time looking back tonight after countless CO batted balls take flight .. out of the park. #Diamondbacks #Rockies
  • In a somewhat ironic twist, Yankees utilize their Bird to clip the wings of The Birds. #Yankees #Orioles
  • The Red Sox haven’t been this hot since … 1978 … and that’s why their fans are still hush hush … no rush to open up about their optimism until late August/early September. #Rangers #RedSox
  • Posey sends Cubs down to defeat against the Giants, who still seem less than imposing and more like posers. #Giants #Cubs
Categories: MLB

MLB Update, Recap and Perspectives: Tuesday, 7-10-18 (click post for audio)

MLB Update:

  • No matter what unlucky Lucroy did at the plate as a hitter tonight, it was completely overshadowed by what he did behind the plate as a catcher, with one of the best impressions of Curly Howard I’ve ever seen. Hey Moe, watch out for my throw…nyuk nyuk #Athletics #Astros
  • San Diego does its usual number on the distraught Doyyers. Go figure. #Dodgers #Padres
  • St. Louis sprays a Redbird turd on the White Sox white flag. What a joke. Bring back Ozzie G. #Cardinals #WhiteSox
  • Remember, despite their pedestrian record and tepid hitting, nobody wants to play the Rays in late August or September. #Tigers #Rays
  • Pal Joey takes a big pee pee on the Indians’ collapsing tee pee. The house of cards is rapidly disintegrating in Cleveland. #Reds #Indians
  • Somewhere in heaven, Teddy Ballgame is looking down, smiling, and wishing he played with these guys…. just who on the Red Sox isn’t red hot? This is simply glorious! Hey, ChabDad, keep that seat down the first base line warm for me in August. #Rangers #RedSox
  • Another game, another occasion to pin a loss on Mickey’s lame-ass Mets … today’s honors go to De Los Santos #Phillies #Mets
  • Danny Boy Murphy climbs out of his basket, and buries the Bucs by going 4 for 4 … and the little three-game Pirate winning streak is no more… #Nationals #Pirates
  • What’s that they’re saying to Manny Machado in the Baltimore clubhouse? If you can’t join ’em, then beat ’em…. ha ha ha ha ha
Categories: MLB

MLB Update, Recap and Perspectives: Monday, 7-9-18 (click post for audio)

MLB Update:

  • Forget Kavanaugh,…. Red Sox Nation trumps Donald by nominating J.D. Martinez, the juris doctor of the launch angle, to the High Court!
  • Frankie goes to H-town, and has a surprisingly easy time holding the mighty Astros down. #Athletics #Astros
  • The Reds continue to be curiously competitive, while the Indians show their weak, sensitive side … something smells amiss atop the AL Central…#Reds #Indians
  • Hardy harr harr harr … Yankee haters can’t contain their glee as the lowly O’s do what they do occasionally … take one from the Evil Empire; tonight’s larceny was perpetrated by Danny Valencia’s love letter sent right into the center field seats. #Orioles #Yankees
  • Pirates hoping to hurdle the .500 mark, as Clint positions Polanco higher up in the order, in order to give him more plunks. #Pirates #Nationals
Categories: MLB

MLB Update, Recap and Perspectives: Sunday, 7-8-18 (click post for audio)



MLB Update:

  • Boston leaves KC with the Royal misery index reaching the boiling point. #RedSox #Royals
  • Shotani helps the Angels end the week at home feeling ok, after winning their Socal showdown against the Dodgers. #Dodgers #Angels
  • With all the productive hacks he took today, the portly Panda may have shed a few pounds today against the Cardinals. #Cardinals #Giants
  • 30 games under, the Fright Sox look scared to death at the prospect of actually winning one, against their mirror image, the 61-31 strutting Stros. #WhiteSox #Astros
  • Realmuto pulls off something of a real miracle, in making Miami look macho. #Marlins #Nationals
  • Kingham does a good job playing King of the Hill in front of a prime time audience in Pittsburgh. #Phillies #Pirates
  • Oakland has effectively re-instituted the money ball approach with remarkable success; odds are they will have 1 all-star, but with these kind of results they can easily eschew all the fanfare. #Athletics #Indians
Categories: MLB

MLB Update, Recap and Perspectives: Saturday, 7-7-18 (click post for audio)

MLB Update:

  • Red Sox rampage continues unabated in KC; what can tomorrow possibly bring other than another Boston massacre. #RedSox #Royals
  • James “Punctured” Shields lives up to his nickname in shelling at the hands of Astros. #WhiteSox #Astros
  • Pirates in a full fledged June swoon … and it’s July… oh my. #Phillies #Pirates
  • Yankees display happy feet circling the bases against poor Haap. #Yankees #BlueJays
Categories: MLB

MLB Update, Recap and Perspectives: Friday, 7-6-18 (click post for audio)

MLB Update:

  • Opposing hitters continue to hit the stitching (literally) out of Pittsburgh pitching; what the hell … most football teams would be embarrassed giving up this kind of scoring. Yeah, the Pirate hurlers are in the valley right now … as in death spiral valley. #Phillies #Pirates
  • As nearly everybody anticipated, it was smooth sailing in KC today for Chris the curmudgeon and his merry mates. #RedSox #Royals
  • If you listen closely, you can hear Yankee fan singing, “Bring back that Sonny Gray from the A’s” … what’s with this guy who came from Oakland? Today he got Smoaked yet again. #Yankees #BlueJays
  • Nationals put a wrap on this game thanks to a well timed pinch of Reynolds. #Marlins #Nationals
  • Left for dead, the Reds are suddenly turning heads, while the Cubs are picking the wrong time to look like duds. #Reds #Cubs
Categories: MLB

MLB Update, Recap and Perspectives: Thursday, 7-5-18 (click post for audio)

MLB Update:

  • When they come home, Nats miraculously awaken from coma (and nine runs down) to overcome the mighty Marlins. The question remains whether they’ll find victories served up on a Trea (2 hrs, including a grand slam) like this every night. #Marlins #Nationals
  • Arizona’s twilight zone offense is reverting to mid, 1st half form, and that’s a scary prospect, even against the flaccid Fathers. #Padres #Diamondbacks
  • Astros are glad to know that regardless of what happens in the first 8 innings, the White Sox will be White Sox. #WhiteSox #Astros
  • Chacin and the Brewers just keep on chuggin. #Braves #Brewers
  • Tireless Texas continues their seemingly unending journey toward .500. #Rangers #Tigers
Categories: MLB

MLB Update, Recap and Perspectives: Wednesday, 7-4-18 (click post for audio)

MLB Update:

  • Brewers pleasantly surprised as Orf gets off with a homer and finally into the hit column. #Brewers #Twins
  • O’s plead nolo contendere against Nola, who prolongs the O’s woes with a fine game, while Buck has no clue as to how to buck the losing trend. #Orioles #Phillies
  • Cubs fatten up by throwing some very tame kitty cats on the barbie for a 4th of July picnic at Wrigley; these Tigers looked more groggy than Mike Tyson’s tiger in The Hangover. #Tigers #Cubs
  • You can’t get blood from a stone, and you can’t coax consistent runs from the Ray’s offense. #Rays #Marlins
  • State of Nationals’ emergency officially declared in Washington, as Harper is barely hitting his weight and the home boys have now sunk below see level. #RedSox #Nationals
Categories: MLB

Law Office of Brandon S. Chabner

A Professional Corporation — providing business and outside general counsel services, including entity formation, contract drafting and negotiation and transaction structuring.

for more information, go to and mention promo code “CHABDOG” for a 20% discount on our regular hourly rate.

Winner of Easy Reader’s 2017 Best of Beach/Best Business Attorney