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Category Archives: Soccer

World Cupdate 2018: Day 8

World Cupdate 2018:

  • Aghast Argentines are feeling very apoplectic after getting socked into Anaphylactic shock by monkey boys Rebic, Modric and his half-brother Rakitic (what about Ruprecht?).
  • The Aussies come back from way down under to grab a point, when Poulsen is caught on video playing deliberate handball, and then Jedinak jacks one under the watch of Kasper, the schlemiel.
  • France just manages to dance itself past a pesky Peru, and hasn’t lost to a South American opponent in the Cup Finals since the days of disco.




World Cupdate 2018: Day 7

World Cupdate 2018:

  • We won the opener on a Wednesday and our hearts stood still, da doo Iran Iran Iran da doo Iran Iran…next Tuesday we got Diego’s knee to the groin before taking a spill.. da doo Iran Iran Iran da doo Iran Iran
  • Uruguay’s favorite vampire gets the first goal out of the way bright and early, and then, goes into a harmless snooze, along with the rest of the light blues.
  • In today’s Rock’m Sock’m pairing, Morocco gets knocked square in the chin by Ronoldo’s deadly chip, stays on its feet, and threatens but is never able to reestablish stable footing.

World Cupdate 2018: Day 6

World Cupdate 2018:

  • Surprise, surprise, surprise, … a proud European team falls to Senegal after two big boners, including an ominous own goal, followed by Niang’s stealth steal coming out of the injury box and goalie Krych’s being caught with his pants down, a situation that surely left Polish fan cry, cry, crying.
  • There you go Comrade! Another 3-goal, homefield horse whipping by the Ruskies, this time against enemies from Egypt. #Russia ##Egypt
  • Sanchez gets the dreaded red card boot after being caught playing illicit handball, and the nation whose flag has the big the red dot makes the most of the extra man opportunity.

World Cupdate 2018: Day 4

World Cupdate 2018:

  • Was Speedy Gonzales out there playing for Mexico? Not exactly, but Germany looked a step slower and is getting a bit long in the tooth. The result is an enormous upset and the tequila is flowing South of the Border.
  • The Brazilian hot shots had plenty of chances, but couldn’t seal the deal against a Swiss army that simply wouldn’t give in. Poor Neymar spent much of the game either sprawled on the grass or crying to the refs for cards to be dealt. Yes, the favorites dominated time of possession and got a point, but this performance was nothing to beat your chest about if you’re a rooter from Rio.
  • Serbian swerves a sweet one above the free kick wall and just out of reach of the Costa Rican keeper, and it’s congratulations to Kolarov!

World Cupdate 2018: Day 3

World Cupdate 2018:

  • There’s a bit of a sour taste left in the Croats’ throats, as they have to rely on an own goal and a gift penalty kick to sneak by Nigeria.
  • La France manufactures a very questionable win with the help of VAR, and a precision-guided goal post deflection by P. Pogba.
  • Messi messes up, while Iceland stays cool.
  • Danes are on the mark just once and that enough to pull them through against frustrated Peru.

World Cupdate 2018: Day 2

World Cupdate 2018:

  • Ronaldo and his pals from Portugal are pretty excited about kissing their sisters in much ballyhooed confrontation with big brother Spain.
  • Moroccan caught knockin the ball the wrong way with his noggin against irrepressible Iran.
  • Uruguay finds a way in the waning minutes, winning by a head… Egypt’s offense goes on strike without Salah.

You know things are going badly, …


…. when you have to call Trinidad your daddy … US finds itself outside/looking in for the 2018 World Cup.

Euro 2016 update: Quarters set as England implodes and Spain takes a siesta …

6-27-16 euro quarters

6-27-16 iceland

Euro 2016 update:

  • Italy does what it has to do, and based on historical precedent has reason to believe it can get by Germany in the Quarters (4-0-4 against them in major tournaments); however, history does not always repeat itself.
  • A titanic disaster for the utterly flabbergasted English, who crash and burn against the hard-nosed competitive edge of the iceberg known as Iceland. This Euro 2016 exit is almost as bad as for the bitter Brits as Brexit.

Copa and Europa Update: Saturday, June 26

6-26-16 chile

6-26-16 poland

At the Copa:

  • The baby blue from Argentina are definitely having trouble coping with the latest let down at the Copa. Messi may well be the most talented player alive, but if he can’t come through in the big moments, he can’t really carry the mantle of soccer’s best. Congratulations again to the champions from Chile.

In Europa:

  • Poles vault into the next round when Swiss miss too many penalty kicks.
  • Hazardous duty for Hungary trying to contain Captain Eden and the talented, highly regarded Belgians.
  • Like clockwork, the Germans make the goals arrive on time and stick it to Slovakia. Get ready for their next opponent to be drawn and quartered in the Euro 2016 round of 8….
  • Vive La France … but the French need to play better if they intend to have a chance again big bad Germany.
  • Irish eyes were not similing after this whale of an own goal sends Wales into the net round.
  • He may not have done the damage himself, but give Ronaldo credit for setting up Quaresma for the blast that propelled Portugal into the Quarters.


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